'To field idly at long-off in the evening sunshine is to peep back over the wall to when things moved slower, cost less and didn't always need to signify something. At a time of digital abundance, the whole glorious point of cricket is that so much of it is utterly pointless' Not everyone can be a true sporting hero. Most of us lost out on life's sporting lottery and we find what virtue we can in effort and incompetence. Not Out First Ball is a laugh-out-loud manifesto for anyone who has ever silently sobbed at the sight of their off-stump cartwheeling off into the distance, or thrown their bat in disgust onto an Autumn bonfire. It is also a love letter to cricket, as seen through the story of an accidental club that has lasted 25 years and 263 matches longer than it ever meant to.