Falling in love is a complicated, messy, mad endeavour - and staying in love is even worse. But even though we know that it will probably all end in tears (or, at best, tight-lipped tolerance) we continue to pursue it, believe in it, and lose sleep and friends over it. In this nimble and original exploration of love's hidden motivations and hideous manifestations, Anouchka Grose tries to get to the heart of its hold over us, along the way examining relationships between famous couples from Amy and Blake to Antony and Cleopatra, and drawing on personal anecdotes and medical case studies, as well as the love affairs celebrated in books, films and music, and the theories about love offered by philosophy, psychoanalysis, anthropology, and a spot of light neurobiology.
No More Silly Love Songs: A Realist's Guide to Romance
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About the Author
ANOUCHKA GROSE is the author of two novels, Darling Daisy and Ringing for You (both published by Flamingo) and is a trained psychoanalyst and self-confessed realistic-romantic. This is her first work of adult non-fiction.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By Herringbone
Format:Hardcover
My girlfriend gave me this book and I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I loved it. It's a very open-minded look at modern love. It's not a self-help book at all but, having said that, I actually found it very helpful. Each chapter looks at love from a different angle: why it brings unhappiness, why it makes people mad, how love and hate are related, whether gender affects the way we love. Although it's clearly been written from a female perspective, there's nothing in it to alienate men. In fact she makes it very clear that the problem isn't between men and women but between humans in general. The examples she uses are from all over the place; it made me want to watch a lot of the films she mentions again. Even Moulin Rouge, which I hated the first time. It also made me want to read Freud, which is saying something.
Because she comes at the subject from so many different angles I'd imagine it would make a good read no matter what your romantic set-up is. She talks about unrequited love, swinging and bisexuality, but she's also good on the subjects of marriage and monogamy. I'd recommend it to anyone who's ever had questions about love. And I imagine that must cover a lot of people!
Because she comes at the subject from so many different angles I'd imagine it would make a good read no matter what your romantic set-up is. She talks about unrequited love, swinging and bisexuality, but she's also good on the subjects of marriage and monogamy. I'd recommend it to anyone who's ever had questions about love. And I imagine that must cover a lot of people!
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hallelujah! Finally a book that turns more than a few bedroom lights on!
24 Mar 2010
Format:Hardcover
"No more Silly Love Songs" is a clever book written by a clever woman about the inconsistencies and paradoxes of how we try to get love and life 'right'.
Never once does this author point at these inconsistencies or doubts as if they were failings. On the contrary, Anouchka Grose can make us feel better about ourselves. She shows us how to look in the mirror without being too critical. How to look past the mess and shame to see the intriguing nature of humanity and its endless search for love, safety and 'happy ever after'. It is a bridge between what the clever academics think and that which the laymen do. A middle ground where page by page her writing helps one to make sense of why 'being in love' might not be working and how, buoyed by new learning, we might stoically re-approach this playing field.
Hallelujah! Finally a book that turns more than a few bedroom lights on! Read it!!!
Never once does this author point at these inconsistencies or doubts as if they were failings. On the contrary, Anouchka Grose can make us feel better about ourselves. She shows us how to look in the mirror without being too critical. How to look past the mess and shame to see the intriguing nature of humanity and its endless search for love, safety and 'happy ever after'. It is a bridge between what the clever academics think and that which the laymen do. A middle ground where page by page her writing helps one to make sense of why 'being in love' might not be working and how, buoyed by new learning, we might stoically re-approach this playing field.
Hallelujah! Finally a book that turns more than a few bedroom lights on! Read it!!!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By C. Gough
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Super clever, super witty, and an eye opener - I love it and have been buying copies for my friends since reading it. If you're baffled by why we fall in and out of love the way we do, and with whom, read this - then read it again, because you'll likely have greedily devoured it too quickly first time round.
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