An evil gang takes over an amusement park only to be foiled by three Ninja-trained brothers and a TV action star in 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, a smartly-paced, if by-the-numbers, kiddie action flick. Medusa (Loni Anderson) and Lothar (Jim Varney) head up the gang with ransom money and mayhem on their minds. But they don't count on the young trio, taught by their Asian grandfather, and Dave Dragon (Hulk Hogan), making a live appearance at the park. What follows is campy humour, lots of Karate-style action and plenty of Home Alone-type boy vs foolish bad-guy high jinks. And girls aren't left out: the brothers' neighbour, a brainy techno girl, is on hand to hack into the computer and override the gang's murderous plans, while also providing 007-style gadgets for hand-to-hand combat. While there is plenty of gunplay in the 90-minute film, no one is killed or even significantly hurt, making it appropriate for ages five and up. --Kimberly Heinrichs, Amazon.com --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Again, I repeat, Varney is by far the highlight of the film, although Hulk Hogan (as "Dave Dragon") tries his best to hang in there. The undisputed low point is Loni Anderson in a black leather outfit as the evil "Medusa." Her performance is not frightening, though her evident cosmetic surgery made me scream out loud.
The plot is that three kids, Colt, Rocky, and Tum Tum (really) learn to be ninjas from their grandpa, who uses a variety of teaching methods, most of which seem to involve toilet plungers. They defend Mega Mountain from terrorists led by the "Zogg and Medusa Moronic Criminals Corporation" (apparently) via endless action sequences and contrivances that James Bond wouldn't allow out of his tool shed, furnished by brainy techno-nerd, Amanda. Eventually the tension is resolved by the least believable plot device (hint: it involves compressed gases, a bomb, and a boat) in recent memory.
Watch especially for the scene with Jim Varney brandishing a saber, and the model helicopter ransom money interception collision ploy. I had thought of titling this review "Extortion on the Log Flume," but that really didn't convey the pain that this movie inflicts. In the end, though, I gave it two stars for a couple of reasons: first, the name Lothar Zogg really is a great villain name, and second, the movie is (after all) meant for kids, so I should give it some slack.
Although I revel in bad movies for their camp value, this one is probably good for young boys, and a chore worse than cleaning out the grease trap for just about everyone else.
The only reason I bought this DVD is because I'm such a fan of Varney's. I wouldn't have known about this movie much less get it if he wasn't in it. While lots of people rag on Hulk Hogan, he wasn't the worst actor. By far, the 'Most Wooden Performance' goes to Loni Anderson. If this is a family oriented movie, why in the world did they have her dress in that skanky leather outfit that was far too short? Terrible casting as far as Loni goes. She was supposed to be the evil Medusa but I didn't buy it. She just didn't have the quality of pulling off the 'bad guy' type of role. She was the 'master-mind' behind taking over an amusement park and threatening to destroy it if the owner didn't pony up the dough. She was much better on 'WKRP in Cinncinati'. I got a little tired of Tum Tum's 'Ay-yahs' after a while. They were too high pitched and over done. I was actually rooting for Lothar to become successful in his mission because he was the only one of the bad guys with the brilliance to pull off the heist. The other goons barely had a double digit IQ put together. Jim easily outshone all the stars, as usual. He always gives his best to whatever role he played as you can see here. Jim and Victor were the two best actors in this movie. The man was a brilliant actor and a genius. If you're a fan of Varney's, then yes, get the movie just to watch him. Otherwise, don't bother.