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Nice Girls Just Don't Get It: 99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You've Earned, and the Life You Want Hardcover – 19 Apr 2011

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 309 pages
  • Publisher: Random House Inc (19 April 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307590461
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307590466
  • Product Dimensions: 14.8 x 3 x 21.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 350,787 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By Selen on 25 July 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I bought this book after reading Lois Frankel's "nice girls don't get the corner office" and again I found it brilliant. There are certain parts in this book which gives so insightful and well-spotted examples that it is more of a psychology book rather than a personal development book. Plus the examples and recommendations are universal and applicable to all cultures. Lois Frankel and Carol Frohlinger absolutely did a good job
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 38 reviews
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
How women can get beyond "nice." 25 April 2011
By Diane K. Danielson - Published on
Format: Hardcover
Based on the authors' previous books I was expecting more of a business book, so the focus on readers' personal lives threw me off at first. Then I realized that while I never had the problem of being a "nice girl" on the job, I was (and still can be) completely different in my personal life. This is why I found value in the authors' ability to spread the "winning woman" concept beyond the office.

The best parts of the book were when Frankel and Frohlinger used realistic case studies. For example, they discussed situations where you may be in a relationship that is not ideal, whether it's with a boss, a colleague, an in-law, or a significant other. Their advice wasn't just "leave," which often is not an option. Instead, it was on how to manage the situation/relationship. Other helpful tools include examples of tough conversations and a thought-provoking self-assessment quiz at the beginning.

On a more comprehensive scope, I read this book at the same time that I was reading When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present. Together they emphasized the Laurel Thatcher Ulrich quote: "Well-behaved women rarely make history."

I highly recommend this for women who feel that they are not making the impact in the world that they would like or who are feeling undervalued, overlooked, and/or taken advantage of either in their home or the workplace.

The only downside I found to reading this book was that I couldn't help but wish that someone had given it to me in my 20s. What I most enjoyed was that the authors' style is reminiscent of sitting down with your "super-cool" aunts or trusted business mentors over coffee or a glass of wine.
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Page After Page of Helpful Advice 19 April 2011
By Lindsey Pollak - Published on
Format: Hardcover
Many people think about negotiation skills when it comes to situations such as agreeing to a salary for a new job or haggling price with a car dealer. These "big" moments are important, but the reality is that we are negotiating multiple times a day in both our personal and professional lives. And many people -- women in particular -- aren't always great at advocating for what we want. If you struggle with issues like negotiation and boundary setting, "Nice Girls Just Don't Get It" is a must-read. It's a guide to achieving large and small goals in every aspect of life, ranging from dealing with your boss to dealing with your mother-in-law.

Through a combination of engaging anecdotes and very specific tactics, Lois Frankel and Carol Frohlinger provide page after page of wise advice. And they help you customize the tips so you can carry them out in an authentic, comfortable way. I came away with tons of good strategies and ideas, and I know that I'll be referring back to this book frequently. Highly recommended!
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
wish I'd had this info years ago......... 22 April 2011
By Glenda Madrid - Published on
Format: Hardcover
This book is must reading for women at all stages of life. In her earlier books Lois Frankel provided much-needed information to women about building a career in a male dominated business world. In this book, Lois and Carol Frohlinger offer practical advice gleaned from their years of research, experience, and interviews with women of all ages and lifestyles.

I like the format of the book. It is divided into seven sections, each describing a strategy for building skills, beliefs, and knowledge needed for overcoming the challenges that prevent all of us from getting what we want from life. Within each strategy, tactics are identified that can help women achieve their personal and professional goals. For example, in the "Build Relationships That Work for You" strategy, 17 tactics are described that include scenarios and examples to help build and manage relationships.

I particularly liked the "Relationships" section, as that is where I think I need the most help in getting the life I want. Even though I am now retired from the corporate world, the tactics described will help me better manage my relationships with my family, with friends, and with people in some of the volunteer agencies I work with. I plan to read and re-read that discussion and other pertinent sections in the book so that I can feel more confident that my interactions with others will have a successful outcome.

This book will help every woman learn how to get more from life, and I strongly recommend it!
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Keep your yellow highlighter handy! 15 May 2011
By Diane Rankin - Published on
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As I started to read Nice Girls Just Don't Get It, I realized that this was a gem of a book that needed me to slow down and digest the wonderful tactics for success. I have been a successful executive at a large firm for almost 20 years, and especially found Straegy IV, Craft Meaningful Messages, beneficial. (Authors, notice I used the word AND and not the word But!) Not only did I highlight numerous tactics in yellow, but I marked pages with post-its for quick reference. Often when I was reading, my husband would ask, "What are you highlighting?" He too now quotes from the book, especially the line, "Build a bridge and get over it!" Speaking of men learning from this book, my 25 year old daughter is encouraging her boyfriend to read it. Nice Girls is now on my desk with my other favorite reference books, and is a must read for my women employees.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Useful, practical, readable! 27 Mar. 2013
By Nadia555 - Published on
Format: Hardcover
I've just finished reading this - having recently finished 'See Jane Lead' and 'Stop Sabotaging Your Career' by co-author Dr. Lois P. Frankel, both of which I also enjoyed. For a 'business' book, 'Nice Girls Just Don't Get It' is exceptionally well-written and accessible. I'm convinced Dr. Frankel can be relied upon to provide potent, relevant advice, while keeping things interesting by using anecdotes to illustrate her points. I was worried this book would smack of repetition (surely there are only so many business books you can read!), but most of this advice was completely fresh. A combined effort by two successful women who own consultancy firms, this book is inclusive of women at all stages and junctures in life. It is impressively comprehensive -- all aspects of a woman's personal and professional life are interrogated. The subtleties of our everyday interactions are brought to the fore for examination and reflection. Practical tips for better handling these interactions, next time, are provided in bullet-point form for easy reference.

A "nice girl" is defined here as a woman-child who forever puts herself last. She resents the status quo, but lacks the courage to communicate what she needs. She works ever harder, but doesn't get promoted because she doesn't draw attention to her accomplishments. She remains in friendships which don't nourish her spirit. Out of politeness, she buys lunch for her girl friends every single time, which makes her resentful. By contrast, a "winning woman", the counterpoint to the "nice girl", walks away when it's time, and communicates assertively while still having a healthy regard for the needs of others. As I read this book, I recognised myself in many of the "nice girl" behaviours, and the differences between the two types of women identified here were illuminated. I now have practical tools I can use to present myself differently to the world.

On a personal note, I will be approaching my manager and asking for higher duties (to groom myself for a promotion), actively managing my 'brand' (you have one whether you like it or not), and "laughing out loud" more, as a result of reading this canny little book. I took notes and will keep these to ensure I retain the lessons I learnt. If you're frustrated, or are feeling overlooked, this is an extremely helpful resource.
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