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New Moan: The First Book in the Twishite Saga - A Parody [Hardcover]

Stephfordy Mayo (Author)
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Publication Date: 22 Oct 2009 | Series: The Twishite Saga

Heffa Lump is a self-centred seventeen-year-old who needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids' books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she's distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy - an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he - just maybe - be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: vampire goths peddling the deadly drug 'Emo' all over town, Jacko-worshipping zombies trying to eat her brains, and werewolves lurking in basements reading copies of Wolf Whistle. A fight is coming, and apparently she's involved ... Will Heffa be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises?

New Moan is guaranteed to make any fan laugh out loud with its irreverent and clever take on this popular series, which is brilliantly on the nose.

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Michael O'Mara (22 Oct 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1843174448
  • ISBN-13: 978-1843174448
  • Product Dimensions: 2.4 x 13.8 x 18.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 202,956 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Authors

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Stephfordy Mayo
Mayo Stephfordy

Product Description

Review

The inevitable Twilight parody (we sooo wish we'd written). Vamp-lit turned on its head (Grazia)

Hilarious (Book of the Month) (Cosmopolitan)

A hilarious parody (No. 1 Magazine (Scotland))
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars dark night read. 23 Nov 2009
By F A Browes
Format:Hardcover
perfect reading for dark winter night. very entertaining, great characters,no need to skip any ' boring bits',unlike some books with similar themes.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars 5 stars all round!! Excellent. 18 Nov 2009
By Gracey
Format:Hardcover
This had me totally laughing out loud! An excellent parody. New Moan captures those pretty idiotic parts of Twilight and highlights them in a way that will have you laughing whether you've read the original or not! A definite 'must buy' for all Twilight fans and for anyone with a sense of humour :)
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, whether you love or hate Twilight 23 Oct 2009
By S. Doore
Format:Hardcover
New Moan is great - having also looked at the other two Twilight parodies available, I'd have to say this is the only one that gets it right. It's cruelly accurate in its skewering of Stephenie Meyer's sillier moments, but still able to be delightfully silly itself. Very very funny, and a perfect present for the vampire fan in your life.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A really entertaining book, that empahisizes the things that niggled away at you when reading Twilight 29 Aug 2010
By LovedThisBook
Format:Hardcover
I am a really big Twilight fan, but i do have a sense of humour, fortunately.
It was a really great read, entertaining, funny etc. it sort of pokes fun at all the characters, especially bella, and at stephanie meyer, or 'stephordy mayo'.
it sort of emphasizes(and exaggerates)all of the characters bad habits and qualities.
It's really funny and has quite a few sexual jokes, so not for young kids, but yeah, it will make you laugh, and then when you read twilight again, you sort of notice all of the bad traits that the different characters have, that you were apparently blind to the first few reads.
erm yeah, the plot is essentially the same, and it sort of seems to cover twilight and new moon, but appart from changing little details and names of people and places, (i.e. Forks is Spatula)to make the book funnier, it's essentially the same, just more of a comic take on it.
i think it would be okay to read it, even if you haven't read twilight, but to get the best out of it, i would suggest reading twilight, then this, and then twilight again, so you can sort of pick up on things you didn't pick up on before.
this seems to me, by a mile the best twilight parody so far. so happy reading.xxx
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Something to get your teeth into! 22 Nov 2009
By J. Walsh
Format:Hardcover
A book that makes you laugh from the cover title onwards - thank God there are still people with humour out there that can get to a pc! while not being particularly PC!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth the read. Very funny! 2 Feb 2010
By CYL
Format:Hardcover
I really liked the Twilight film and have read the first 3 books. In fact, I was reading the New Moan parody at the same time as Eclipse (book 3 of the real Twilight saga), and actually enjoyed the parody more! It has adult themes (so don't let the kids read it), but it's no more offensive than your average teen movie. I was laughing out loud in some places, especially during the first part of the book. If you have read the Twilight books, you'll get the jokes about Stephanie Meyer's writing style and characterisations, but New Moan is still very funny in its own right. If you don't take the Twilight books too seriously, and just enjoy them as entertaining escapism (and you're not easily offended), you will definitely enjoy this book.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant Parody 26 Oct 2009
By JATL
Format:Hardcover
Even if you have never read the Twilight saga there is much to enjoy in this very funny book and if if you have read Meyer's books you will laugh out loud at some of the chapters here. I don't usually read these parody books but I took a chance on this one and i'm glad I did. The adventures of Heffa and Teddy will keep you laughing past the witching hour.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Twisted ideas ~ love it! 9 July 2011
By Isak.
Format:Paperback
I don't like the Twilight series, so when i saw this book at Waterstones i was sold :D! Unfortunately, the store closed down for the day, and i didn't manage to think about wether i should buy it or not (soooo me!)
So i came home from my holiday, and i couldn't find the book in the stores at home, (DK, if anybody wondered) because it was english.
I went to Amazon, and found it again (YAY!)
I ordered from a private seller, and it arrived very quickly!

The book is super funny, and sometimes you just think ' how the **** did the author come up with that bizarre idea!' And you can't help but laugh, wich i don't normally do, during a funny book, but I really have to here :D!
Okay, the book might not be for small children, but for the 14+ it should be allright ;)
I can proudly but this on my bookshelf! (but i probably have to explain the name 'New Moan' for a couple of people, hahha!)
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars the title says it all!!
Waste of time, money and kindle space!
And now I'm told my review is to short,
waste of time, money and Kindle space!
Published 27 days ago by scrubs1
2.0 out of 5 stars entertaining
I did enjoy this book, the jokes and flaws pointed out are really funny, enlightened and exactly what you can find yourself thinking if you read the actual Twilight saga. Read more
Published 1 month ago by sky
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious-A Fantastic Parody
Usually I'm not a fan of parodies, and I'm certainly not a fan of Twilight, but New Moan is brilliant! Read more
Published 16 months ago by LauraM
5.0 out of 5 stars hilarious
i loved this book it is so funny it came within a week of ordering it was well packaged and i totally recommend it
Published 17 months ago by zoe
4.0 out of 5 stars Better in the second half
My teenage daughter loved the Twilight saga and so I bought this as a bit of fun.
She says she felt some of the criticisms of Stephenie Meyer's writing style in the early part... Read more
Published 17 months ago by MC
4.0 out of 5 stars Love it - great holiday read
As a fan of the Twilight books this was a great holiday read, poolside, airplane - when you just want something fun and non-taxing. Read more
Published on 10 May 2011 by Matt - Altrincham
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely hilarious!
Bought this book wondering what to expect.......... I love the Twilight Saga, and will do anything for a Twilght fix. Read more
Published on 20 April 2011 by Little Poppet
3.0 out of 5 stars not sure.
Bought it for my G/F. She said it was really funny, but basically just the same book it's a parody of. Just some words have been changed to it a funny book. Read more
Published on 14 Dec 2010 by LCor
5.0 out of 5 stars New moan
the delivery time was good, it came within three days, well packaged and in very good condition.
exactly what you would expect from a book ordered offline, I plan on using it... Read more
Published on 5 Dec 2010 by Teri
3.0 out of 5 stars Gift
It was bought as a gift for a friend, it arrived on time and I had no trouble with it. My friend was very happy with it.
Published on 29 Aug 2010 by C. J. Ward
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