It's not easy to review a book on miscarriage when it only happened one month ago. Just writing about it makes me want to cry. But, I felt it was important to share how much this book helped me. I know I'll keep using it when times get really rough, which is most days. I learned that I'm going through a real grieving process because my baby died. It was just as real as any other person dying that I loved. (I know from experience because my Mother died about seven years ago). I found so much comfort, especially with my emotions being all over the place, in this book. Miscarriage does that to you. I'm only human and my baby and the dreams for my baby are gone. My life felt ripped apart when I miscarried and still does. This book assured me it's normal- I'm normal. Ellen DuBois' writing is touching and goes straight to the heart. Her honesty about her feelings, lack of support and all the crying she did made me feel much less alone. I, like her, can't even go past baby food in the grocery store without feeling like I want to run out of there and hide. Dr. Linda Backman, a grief specialist, explained grieving over the loss of my baby like nobody else could. (That also applied to losing my Mom, and I was only 15 when it happened). I've never been to a professional psychologist, but felt like I was with one when reading her chapters. I don't know when I'll be able to move forward, but I've stopped beating myself up for being stuck right now because it's normal to be stuck. I realize, through this book, that I need to give myself a break to get over what others sometimes make out to be nothing or at least, not so big a deal. It is a big deal. Other than losing my mother, it's the worst thing that ever happened to me, and to my husband, who also gained help from this book. It taught him things about me and what I am feeling that I can't explain. I love this book and will keep turning to it whenever I feel like I'm losing it, which is often.
My Dad is a very strong man. When we lost my mother almost seven years ago, it turned our lives inside out. I wish we had this book back then, even though the title says miscarriage, it really applies in many ways to any loss of someone you love. At first I was afraid to share this book with him because I didn't want to cause him pain by bringing up the memories of my Mom's death. But, this book deals with the loss of a loved one, too, not just my baby. So, I shared it with him and although he didn't say much at first, he told me later that many of the things said about grief, allowing yourself to feel, and the entire grieving process explained so warmly by Dr. Backman helped him to grow and heal more than he had in a long time.
I thank you for this wonderful book of support, and so do my father and husband. It's been a blessing in my life, and I believe it will carry me through some very dark days ahead. I think the most important thing is that although it's really hard to believe I'll ever see a brighter side to life, I know I will and have faith I will- all because of this book.
I have to thank my best friend for getting me to try to search for help. She actually found this book online, and got it for me. So, thank you Chris.