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Negotiate This!: By Caring, but not t-h-a-t much [Hardcover]

Herb Cohen
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Book Description

1 April 2004

As a result of his extensive negotiating experience and his unique presentation style, Herb Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can quickly grasp both sides of an issue and get the most for his client out of a difficult negotiation. His advice? 'Simple,' says Herb, 'I care...but not that much!'

In this new book - and in his humorous and self-deprecating style - Herb Cohen explains how the reader can learn powerful yet subtle negotiating ploys to help them in their business, career, and even family relationships. As Herb says, 'Negotiation is the game of life.


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Product details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Warner US (1 April 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0446529737
  • ISBN-13: 978-0446529730
  • Product Dimensions: 22.9 x 16 x 3.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,514,692 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Book Description

* An essential guide to the art and practice of negotiation in the 21st century

About the Author

Herb Cohen has been a practising negotiator for the past four decades. He has helped with a wide variety of conflicts in business, sports, politics, and other areas, from the Iran hostage crisis to helping resolve the National Football League strike. He has also served as a consultant on the Middle East to several U.S presidents

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars very good book 13 Sep 2013
By Pandrei
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Very nice, informative read. There are a lot of thins to learn and best part is ...it's all common sense. A bit too "american" in my opinion. Some advice will never apply to europeans - it's for the american way. Also a bit too long at times; could have easily left out about 50 pages without affecting the quality on the information.
But generally a good book.
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Format:Paperback
This is a great book and we are lucky so many copies were printed that it is almost a give-away price.

It is very easy to read, and it also is often quite funny. Herb is very witty and gives great examples that you can relate to. In many cases he has a bit of a laugh at what he did wrong in a negotiation, and points out how he could have done better.

You can pick it up and just open it at any point and start reading. It's one of those kinds of books. And when you do, it's sometimes hard to put down.

But all of that is just an aside.

The main reason you should buy this book is that he is a top class negotiator who gives heaps of tips on how to negotiate better. He also points out how much of our everyday life is a negotiation of one kind or another. Therefore, the benefits you'll get out of reading this are many, and they'll last throughout your life. (I know this because I read and re-read one of his previous books years ago - and time and again I save money in negotiations (eg. buying or selling things) or can conclude transactions surprisingly easily.
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By Rolf Dobelli TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Hardcover
The art of negotiation, according to expert and author Herb Cohen, focuses on common sense, with a dash of game playing. He presents his negotiating philosophy - basically, keep your cool - which he buttresses with interesting examples from his career as a negotiator. His expertise in international hostage situations even got him an invitation to the White House in 1979, to advise President Jimmy Carter on bargaining with the Iranians to free the Americans being held in Tehran. Cohen is a storyteller, which is both his strength and his weakness: The book is entertaining but loosely structured. Still, getAbstract finds his approach refreshing and recommends the book whether you're negotiating a salary increase or an international treaty.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.2 out of 5 stars  51 reviews
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Welcome to Uncle Herb's Attic 3 Nov 2003
By Robert Morris - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Pretend that Cohen is your Uncle Herb. He is an internationally renowned expert on negotiation. You express an interest. He invites you to follow him into the attic of his home where he begins to remove from a chest all manner of papers. They are only casually organized. He is intimately familiar with each document. And each document inspires Uncle Herb to share an anecdote, aphorism, or even a complete story. "Everybody tells me I should write a book about all this!" Well, he has. This is it. What it lacks in cohesion it more than makes up for with fascinating experiences which Cohen has accumulated over many years.
He organizes (if that's the word) his material within twelve chapters which range from "The Joy of Detached Involvement" to my personal favorite, "The Game of Life." His advice is eminently practical. At the end of each chapter, he provides a cluster of what he calls "Prominent Points." Here are a few:
"Always view yourself as a problem solver, searching for creative alternatives that can satisfy both sides' real concerns and interests." (Chapter I)
"Concessions are not appreciated unless effort is expended to obtain them." (Chapter V)
"As the deadline approaches, remain confident and composed. Fretting and fussing is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." (Chapter VII)
"What matters is not what power you've got, but what the other side thinks you've got." (Chapter IX)
With all due respect to the "Prominent Points," if you are looking for a comprehensive manual on negotiation -- filled with check lists, detailed case studies, etc. -- this isn't it. So what is it? As I attempted to suggest earlier, Cohen's style is informal, conversational really. He shares a wealth of information about his career and discusses several important lessons that he learned about human nature. The subtitle suggests the importance of caring about the given issues but not T-H-A-T much. So really, Cohen spends most of his time on the psychology of negotiation rather than on its mechanics. One clue to his attitude is revealed by the last of the "Prominent Points" at the end of the last chapter: "With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love vial e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent strategies and fun to read. 12 Sep 2003
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
How can you get people to say "yes" to you? Herb Cohen knows. He packs a lot of punch into 300+ pages: colorful anecdotes from decades of his own negotiations, wise examples from the Book of Exodus to Winston Churchill, the importance of humor ("Humor, of course, is no laughing matter"), and how to turn powerlessness into power. Cohen's prophecies about mideast terrorism, first written in the mid-1980s, show he was way ahead of everyone else. I found his section on Jimmy Carter's bungling of the Iran hostage crisis to be particularly thought provoking - and infuriating - and very relevant to the world's post 9/11 crises. Highest recommendation.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars NEGOTIATE THIS! 30 Sep 2003
By LINDA P LOFTUS - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
It's a mistake to label this solely as a self-help book. It's so much more. Mr. Cohen has given readers a masterpiece - - a humorous page-turner that's filled with a philosophy of life that comes to most of us, if ever, only through long and arduous trial and error.
As someone who has spent decades reading non-fiction books about selling, negotiating and human behavior, "Negotiate This" by far and away the champion - a tour de force.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cohen Strikes Again 16 Oct 2003
By "amyj792" - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Two decades ago I read "You Can Negotiate Anything" and was blown away by Herb Cohen's wise observations and tips. Since then it has been my bible for interpersonal dealings and saved me tens of thousands of dollars.
Surprisingly, Herb's new book "Negotiate This" is even better. It's a riot to read and contains practical examples and anecdotes that can be easily applied. Without a doubt it's the best self-help book I've ever read.
If you want to understand and predict human behavior and have the power to make things happen, buy and read this book.
Very Highly Recommended!
17 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How to use effective persuasion to jockey for position! 21 Sep 2003
By Alvin C. Romer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much
by Herb Cohen

I had the pleasure of attending one of Herb Cohen's speeches several years ago on becoming a master of persuasion, and perfecting the art of meaningful negotiation. Of course, by that time, his signature work, You Can Negotiate Anything was already a must read book destined to become a masterpiece. That book, now 23 years old and still packing a solid punch will find company in the aforemention's current offering. Now comes Negotiate This! Albeit, with an interesting subtitle, "By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much", it gives the impressionable image that there's more to the title as implication would have you view it. It is inevitable that this author's seminal work, and a new twist to gaining footholds on how to win at an effective personal developmental tool would lend one to believe that there's something new to the game, and as you read Negotiate This! you'll be able to see just how different it is, yet some of the same principles in the former are present and prominent in the latter.

Please be reminded that the purpose of this expose is not to draw parallels, but rather, to aim the reader's perspective in communicating how personal allegorical and simple logical insight to view experienced behavioral patterns can make a difference in positioning yourself to turn no's into yeses. In this book, you will find out why Cohen is such an accomplished, successful negotiator, a talent that personifies his creative intelligence, his intense focus on using the art of persuasion and emphasizing a negotiating style that is subliminal, entertaining and flexible. The primary message in this book is the negotiator's need to cultivate a certain aloofness, or employ an analogy to suggest a detached sense of awareness but still be able to take in the seriousness of what one should be doing to win -- hence the book's subtitle. I like the way he uses well-placed metaphors to color the street-smart advice on effective demeanor, an implied uniqueness to style and the importance of the bargaining process. As I read, I wanted to have the answers that kept cropping up in my head. To wit: Is it possible to create advantages in negotiations? When would you know that you have the upper hand? What ploys should be used to project a preeminent air to intimidate your adversary?

Cohen manages to do an excellent job in explaining all of the above. As such, manipulating the perceived levels of time, information and positioning to create an advantage in negotiations is a must to foster the image that knowledge is indeed power. In the process he gives a perfect if not defining analogy of what negotiating is all about while using three precepts. He opines: "Negotiating often involves the managing of conflict. At times, however, some conflicts that come your way need not be confronted but should be avoided. If you have some perspective you can see things beginning to develop and use your lead time to adopt a blueprint of avoidance, then do so. Another strategy that comes with distance is to diffuse or reconcile differences before they even come to a head. Finally, a third option is to confront the problem directly looking for alternate solutions that will provide for joint gain and build mutually beneficial relationships"

All in all, this is an excellent read, but may not be anything new for those that feel that it's an old rehashment of an earlier atonement on the same subject. In my opinion, there were a few things of less interest, and despite the book's verbosity in odd places nothing should be taken away from the author's unique expressionism in illustrating points that can make the difference between winning or losing arguable points of contention in negotiating détente. The result is a book that is quite useful, practical, and uses Herb Cohen's experience and success as a hallmark for authoritative wisdom. Read it for yourself to draw conclusive evidence for any limitations on patience and perseverance. I rate it five stars out of five!
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