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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
76 of 81 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating food for thought,
This review is from: We Need To Talk About Kevin (Paperback)
I read this book after a review piqued my interest and I wasn't disappointed. This is a portrait of a family tearing itself apart, because the parents have a diametrically opposite view of what children, parenting and family are all about. While Franklin holds the idea of family up as a holy grail, the highest purpose that anyone can have, Eva regards family as being something that you do aswell as everything else rather than a calling. I was very surprised at the harsh judgement Eva received from reviewers - it's true that Eva's view may not be entirely unbiased, and her actions less than perfect, but she is a human being after all. Being a mother does not make you perfect, as Loretta Greenleaf says. As a woman I found that her feelings, particularly her anxieties during pregnancy, seemed to echo my own worst fears: that her body ceases to be her own, that others will regard her as a vessel for the precious offspring rather than a person in her own right. Except in Eva's case these are realities and not just fears. We can't help our feelings and though Eva's feelings towards her child may not always be the best desirable, she tries hard to fight against them. She doesn't actively mistreat Kevin, except on the one occasion when she loses her temper - something that many parents understandably do. I was equally surprised by the fact most people seemed uncondemnatory of Franklin, who seemed to me to share equal guilt over the sad state of affairs. His attitude towards his wife both before, during, and immediately after her pregnancy is astounding in its callousness and inflexibility. His Holy Grail attitude to family seems to rely on his wife totally sublimating herself and her life to the cause of 'the family' while he continues as normal. He whinges about Eva having to travel for her job and yet once she is the one stuck at home he is happy to whizz off in his truck and leave her behind. Rather than giving her love and support during the pregnancy, he offers finger-wagging censure over her actions. Expecting her to selflessly submit to every prohibiton, he is judgemental rather than understanding. He fails to appreciate the sacrifices she has made but doesn't expect to have to make any sacrifices of his own. For instance, what would've been wrong with him staying at home to look after the baby to give his wife a break, if she wasn't coping well? He insists that Kevin needs parental care but when Eva finally becomes ill and has to go into hospital he declines the burden himself, preferring to hire a nanny. It seems he's keen on all this personal parental care as long as it doesn't inconvenience him. Whilst Eva loves him and accepts him as he is, he is constantly wanting her to change herself to fit into his idealised vision of a wife and mother, and is petulant when she does not. Having married an independant, free-spirited career woman, he seems to imagine that she will automatically morph into a housekeeper cum earthmother once she has had his child. He also constantly undermines Eva's authority over Kevin by refusing to discipline him or to allow her to do so - any parent will tell you that this is a very bad idea. Whether or not her suppositions about Kevin's motivations are correct, there is no doubt that he is often an extremely difficult child, something which Franklin makes worse by indulging him. If Eva refuses to take reponsibility for her own antipathy towards Kevin - Franklin refuses to take responsibility for Kevin himself. Parenting isn't just about fun and games, sometimes there are unpleasant duties that must be faced for the child's own sake. Allowing a child to grow up as a disagreeble and antisocial brat doesn't do them any favours. Whether Kevin is indeed a monster from birth or whether he is made the way he is by his upbringing is something that could be debated well into the night, but somehow it seems irrelevant to me. Both his parents are presented as imperfect, flawed but human, struggling to do the right thing as they see it. What more could they do for him? We all have choices in life. In the same way that some abused children become abusers and some become loving parents, it hardly seems right to lay blame for Kevin's actions at his parents door. That's not to say I didn't feel sympathy for Kevin. The book left me feeling emotionally exhausted, but the ending is also a hopeful one.
72 of 77 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A gripping story,
By Tiny Dancer "tiny dancer" (Glasgow) - See all my reviews
This review is from: We Need To Talk About Kevin (Five Star Paperback) (Paperback)
This book is very well written. Contrary to other reviews of this book, I think it is a strength in the novel that Eva does not always inspire empathy in the reader. Eva is a terrifically well rounded, believable and flawed character. The book is in the form of letters to her husband trying to rationalise the tragic killings performed by her son. I think it is in trying to rationalise why Kevin committed such atrocities that Eva questions her role as a mother... is it because she didn't really want a baby, because she couldn't bond with Kevin after he was born, because she wanted a career or was Kevin just born inherently evil?
This book is gripping from beginning to end, thought provoking, funny, scary and sad... well worth a read.
67 of 72 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Complex and fascinating - pick this book up today,
By
This review is from: We Need To Talk About Kevin (Paperback)
Over-analytical, complacent and accepting, honest and faultering, We Need To Talk About Kevin is always a gripping read. Although difficult to get into at first due to its style of language, this book is well worth the effort and delivers a satisfying story with no set answers - just like real life.
It is a story narrated by Eva, the mother of Kevin who she suspects from an early age has a cruel streak. When Kevin is at high school, he kills seven of his fellow students and two staff just before turning 16. The story is told through letters to her husband Franklin, recalling before Kevin was born and gradually leading through his life to the day it all happened. Franklin never replies - this is something which you are constantly aware of and you find yourself generating several theories as to where he is, why he has no answer etc. For Eva it was a difficult decision to make when her and Franklin decided to have a baby. It had never been one of her goals as a career focused woman although it interested her as 'a new adventure'. Once pregnant she felt alienated from her husband and this continued once Kevin was born. A central theme throughout is how Eva never felt a connection to her son from conception to birth and throughout his early years. Kevin had a terrible temper and was always acting out but Franklin never saw it this way or understands how Eva feelsand they grow apart throughout the years. This is where the book is so interesting - you never know whether to fully believe her account of the events or not. She is painfully honest in her letters and this makes you feel close to her and empathise with her view or her son. The real question behind the whole book is how does someone become evil? Is it nature or nurture? Eva fears that the way she interpreted Kevin's behaviour as a baby led to an extreme distance between them throughout his life. It is debatable to what extent the book answers this as we only have one side of the story - either way, it is fascinating to read this account and work out where you do and do not agree with the thing's Eva says. Again, another topical issue is raised here - who is to blame for such acts of hatred/evil? Is it the parents, is it peer pressure, is it just some one off nutcase or is it the way kids are today? After all, the Colombine and various other similar massacres were attributed by right wingers to the media and rock music like Marylin Manson. The great thing, but also an irritating thing, is that we only have the one account and this isn't by the person who carried out a similar act. The book is clever at telling us details bit by bit by bit and by accounting Eva's visits to Kevin in prison, but you always want a final answer, some words from Kevin himself as to the most important question of all - WHY? The absence of a definitive answer perhaps is crucial to the whole point of the book - to ask yourself what YOU think and to show there is no black and white, just varying shades of grey, depending on where you stand. It is here that the book is most human, in its honesty and confused reasoning. It is a book that has stayed with me from the moment I picked it up and I consider rewarding.
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