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Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On [Kindle Edition]

Cynthia Zayn , Kevin Dibble M.S.
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £10.53
Kindle Price: £6.64 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

In a revealing study of relationships where partners love themselves first, last, and always, Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble help readers determine whether their partner is over the line and has narcissistic personality disorder. The book draws on the authors' research and interviews with a variety of men and women who've been narcissized. Featuring compelling stories and scenarios, Narcissistic Lovers helps victims understand the pain brought on by their abusers, shows why these self-loathers can't change, and offer hope for healing from their "N-fliction."

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
171 of 173 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's all in here 30 Oct. 2010
By Lady H
I came across the concept of Ns and co-dependents last year whilst studying Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
I had at that point been working successfully as a therapist and life coach for many years (just shows this can happen to anyone) but this was the first time I studied in any depth personality disorders.
Whilst it took some time for me to accept that the strange things going on in my own 23 year relationship were due to the N and co-dependent loop, in the end it was irrefutable and actually a relief to finally recognise what was going on.
The idealise/devalue and engagement/disengagement loop were finally explained, along with the need for him to play Prince to a Princess (he had a variety of these throughout our marriage). Also explained were the compulsive and often unnecessary lies, the excessive and inappropriate anger which could be ingnited as quickly as it would change back to calm and pleasant.
My chap was handsome, self deprecating, charming, kind, generous, extremely intelligent and one of the most credible and well liked (to those he chose to engage with) gentleman I can ever recall meeting.

He was also a liar, hard done by, illogical, irrational, totally lacking in empathy, insensitive, cruel and a cheat who regularly threatened to leave if ever there were differences or things to discuss. (Although he never actually did go, I had to leave him in the end).
We started as THE best couple ever, and I was apparently THE most beautiful, intelligent and amazing person he had ever met in his WHOLE life.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Knowledge is power 7 Oct. 2011
After struggling to save my 34 year marriage for the past 5 years,eventually getting divorced in January of this year I was devastated to find out (after the divorce) that my ex husband had in fact been chasing women continiously during the marriage. I still found it difficult to understand how a)I was so foolish and trusting and b) how he could so easily move onto another relationship and arrange his 2nd marriage so soon (next year). After reading this book I now understand a lot more about his manipulation techniques and necessary "supply" of partners and my co-dependence that attributed to this. In fact after reading one of the case studies I found myself in tears because it mirrored my marriage in so many ways. This knowledge has helped me move on with my life a lot quicker and I definitely recommend it to anyone who finds themselves in this confusing state, if I knew what I knew now after reading about Narcissistic Personality Disorder my new life would have begun so much earlier.
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69 of 71 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have had trouble getting over a guy, and I knew something was not normal, but I just didnt know what. This book was amazing for me, it's quite a thin book, but has a tonne of information about narcisstic lovers. It had all the answers to my questions, it was an amazing read. I just couldnt put it down once I had started it. It was my situation exactly, and have the answers has indeed helped me rationalise it, cope and move on.

It explains about the character types, and co-dependents who are pulled into this situation. It has helped me hugely in giving my sitaution the right label, in a situation where things just didnt add up. Where the partner just abandons you and very quickly moves on to someone new, too quickly while you are left stunned and wondering what happened.

Only negative about this book is its written sometimes referring to the narcissistic person and "he" then almost one paragraph later switches to a "she" which is irritating, as they should have just picked on gender and stuck with it. The reader after all is smart enough to know it can apply to either a male or female.

Great book to help understand and cope if you suspect this is your situation with a very selfish, self-centered person who can only see their view of the relationship.

DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED, it's given me answers and closure, and for that alone is totally worth it.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By Channie
For me, this was a fantastic read! and opened up the answers to many questions which I've had through my life. I realise now, that I am indeed a co-dependant, which stems from my upbringing and thus has continued into my relationships with others.
I had heard of Narcissists but didn't know what they were until I read this book! and it seems there are many out there!
The reason, I personally bought this book, is because I had so many questions, having been suddenly ignored by a man who I had spent 9 close months with. I couldn't understand the no explanation and how someone could be so cruel, cold and hurtful but now that I have read this, I understand and above anything else, this book has helped me realise, that I did 'nothing wrong' and the problems lie with that person and not me. Though, being a co-dependant I realise that I to have lessons learnt here.
so, basically, if you're feeling a little lost in this world and feel that many/most relationships you have with others fail due to those people being so cold and bitter, this is the book for you!, so as not to keep blaming yourself!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend
An eye opener for me ...recommended
Published 1 month ago by lee Hampton
5.0 out of 5 stars This opens your eyes!!
I bought this in a long line of other books that have helped me pave the way to a fresh start from being with or around the wrong type of people. Read more
Published 1 month ago by From Mo-Bristol
5.0 out of 5 stars A husband with no thought for anyone else
Spent years wondering why I upset my husband so much and why he stays with me now know why , no oxytocin as a child , I always said he was not touched enough as a child this is why... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Tina Cuthbertson
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! An eye opener for sure
Brilliant! An eye opener for sure! My relationship was spelled out in front of me! Very easy read too. Get it!
Published 2 months ago by Miss R M Larsen
3.0 out of 5 stars This book gave me comfort
I found this a useful book, and it comforted me, but I'd have liked it better if it didn't change the gender of the 'N'. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Woodmouse
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Fantastic book a must Read for anyone who has been in an Abusive Relationship
Explains Clearly all the tactics
Published 2 months ago by janet irons
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read This Book!!
Absolutely Brilliant book, wished I read it sooner. Must Read This Book!!
Published 3 months ago by michele miller
4.0 out of 5 stars Very hurful and helpful reading as a possible Narcissistic lover
It was from 'the art of loving' that I picked up an idea maybe I am a Narcissistic Lover. It is hard for me to see things objectively sometimes and I have been inconsiderate... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Elizabeth
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Very matter of fact!
Published 4 months ago by Jan
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Confirmed what I thought already - so I learned something
Published 7 months ago by John W.
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