"So here, sandwiched between the Fuhrer and the faun, strides Klaus Kinski. Obviously. As demented as - oh, I don't know - dragging a steamship over a mountain by hand..."
"The subsequent sequels/westernised re-tellings - whilst all very good - have removed much of the original sting. But make no mistake: this IS the scariest film ever made."
"Superior filmmaking. Couldn't believe at the time that Arriaga/Inarritu would EVER top this. Then they did. Twice. Simply the best in the game right now..."
"Speaking of sublime double-acts... Aguirre was the genius result of 2 true madmen trying REAL HARD to kill each other. 15 more years? You'd have to be psychotic..."
"Nothing here but honest-to-goodness summer blockbuster FUN. That lead man Song Kang-Ho looks so much like Pigsy from "Monkey" is just another reason to love the man, frankly..."
"The brazilian "Goodfellas"? Stylistically, maybe, but at least those wiseguys had a kind of roguish charm. This is a truly chilling look at some "chavs-gone-feral" hell. City of God? He ain't here..."
"BR then, in which a class of typically daft-but-harmless kids are made, by law, to murder each other. Dear Hollywood: PLEASE remake this as "Please Sir 2" or "Grange Hill: The Next Generation"..."
"Aaah, a sweet, gentle romance - right up until that bag in Asamis room moves. Suddenly. And like THAT we're now watching the most traumatic and upsetting movie EVER to be greenlit. Seriously."
"10 1-hour long Polish meditations on morality, all set in a dreary tenement block. MMM, SOUNDS GOOD! Don't be fooled; this is the ONE thing here that you all MUST try, just once. Genius."