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My Alien Self: My Journey Back to Me (Memoirs of Amanda Green Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

Amanda Green , Debz Hobbs-Wyatt
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)

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Book Description

One of many 5* reviews... "What an interesting, fun and well written life story this is - I was engaged right from the start and couldn't put it down. Amanda's certainly packed a lot of exciting adventures into her life! I would thoroughly recommend this book not just to those suffering with mental health issues, but to those who would also like a jolly good read!"

If I told you I’d been to twenty-four Countries (twenty-one by the time I was twenty-two), that I’d worked in Japan for nine months, toured Australia for six months, enjoyed seven months in Thailand and met and campaigned for the Orangutan in Borneo, you might think that I was pretty lucky.
If I told you I’d worked in the hotel industry, for a sexual health department in a hospital and with prisoners in a drug cell block of a male prison, that I’d worked as a recruitment consultant, in so many office jobs I’ve lost count, as well as having my own company and multiple websites, at age thirty-six, then you might think I’ve had an interesting life.
But if I added to that a mix of child rape, mental health problems, promiscuity, drug taking, alcohol abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, violence, mood swings, obsession, jealousy, loss of self worth, being raised by a mentally ill mother, bankruptcy, thyroid and gastro problems and public masturbation in school at age nine, then I am not sure what you’d think.
But this is me; Amanda Green. This is my life, my story; my journey back to me from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder – mental illness which manifested during my life and came out ‘to it’s peak’ in my thirties.
I was able to use my collection of mementos, photos, diaries, journals, letters, emails and text messages of my past to finally see who I had become, and more importantly with a combination of therapy, medication and my writing, how I became that alien self and how I found the real me.

The editor (Debz Hobbs-Wyatt) adds…
This is the journey of a normal working class girl, trapped in a roller coaster world of disorder and excitement, love and joy, depression and anger – and her fight against stigma
While My Alien Self would be inspiring for any sufferer, their families or medical teams in its honest insights into living with a mental illness, it also has universal appeal. For who, at times, has not felt their life spin into chaos and wondered what is normal? This story effectively and openly highlights just how fine the line is between what is normal, and what is ‘mental illness’ And everyone who reads it will be able to relate to it.

Contains explicit language and sexual scenes

Emergence had this to say '‘We very much enjoyed reading this honest and powerful account of Amanda’s journey from diagnosis to recovery. We applaud such authentic and candid accounts of the devastation that can be experienced by those living with personality disorder and of the message of hope and recovery that the book conveys.’

Bon Dobbs (Anything To Stop The Pain and Author of 'When hope is not enough') said 'While there are many borderline personality disorder memoirs out now (including The Buddha and the Borderline, Loud House of Myself,Get Me Out of Here, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet and Poisoned Love – see this link), My Alien Self goes a long way to providing hope to the sufferers of BPD. By publishing the steps taken to reframe certain ways thinking, through CBT worksheets and other exercises, the author has revealed that recovery from BPD is possible.'

I self published this book and am very proud of that fact, because I was able to write it exactly as I wanted it to be written, with the help from my fabulous editor, Debz Hobbs-Wyatt. Whilst the massive help a publisher and agent gives, they do narrow down what is published, so I took on the journey to publish it and market it myself.

There’s a sequel out too, called '39'. It's quite different, but it leads on from this one :-)

Product Description

About the Author

I am Amanda Green, author of 'My Alien Self - My Journey Back To Me' and the sequel '39'. 'My Alien Self - My Journey Back To Me' is my memoir which follows my journey through travel, excitement, normality and mental illness to find myself again. '39' is about what happened afterwards; the year before reaching the prime age of forty, family relationships, love and memories. I want to inspire others that it is possible to recover and have a life worth living. Because I grew up with my mother having severe Schizophrenia, who had been incarcerated in psychiatric hospitals for years, and felt the bullying and loneliness that stigma can spread, I campaign to 'stop the stigma surrounding mental illness. I also felt the wrath of stigma when I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder. Many people do not understand mental illness, so judge people unfairly. So I created where I publish articles on the topics covered in my story, including self help, depression, bankruptcy, Alcohol/drug abuse, family and relationships, sexual, physical and mental abuse, anxiety, anger, Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), self harm, Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), Anorexia Nervosa/Bulimia, mindfulness, panic, rape, Schizophrenia, pychosis, Suicidal thoughts, , paranoia, dissociation, mood disorder, thyroid issues and psychology. I will be working with mental health charities, magazines, newspapers, social networking and other PR projects, actively making people aware of this disorder through every means possible through the media. But also, I hope that my books will help other sufferers and their families and friends to understand BPD and mental health and how to help oneself to feel better. I want to raise awareness to the general public about mental illness and the stigma sufferers have to deal with. I hope that Doctors and the medical industry involved with mental health will benefit from reading my stories, as they unfold what it is like to suffer from debilitating mental illness from the inside out and how it manifests itself. But I have also written my memoirs in a style that I hope will be compelling and sometimes shocking reads for anyone interested in memoirs with a twist, so that I can reach more people. Outside of work, I love eating out and reviewing restaurants, travel, days out, campaigning for the precious Orang-utan and the issues of unsustainable palm oil production, running six websites of my own and seeing my family.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1013 KB
  • Print Length: 488 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1493784862
  • Publisher: Amanda Green; 1 edition (29 May 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0087HBUWU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #248,636 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

I am Amanda Green, self published author of six inspiring books.

Aside from writing and social networking, I spend a lot of time with my pets; a handsome cat called Titus, a pretty hamster called Molly and tropical fish. I strongly believe in pet animal therapy as being good for our mind, body and soul and I promote the fostering and adopting of animals as opposed to private breeding and purchase. I detest animal cruelty.

I love eating out and reviewing restaurants, travel, days out, campaigning for the precious Orang-utan and the issues of unsustainable palm oil production and seeing my family. I also enjoy reading, theatre, films, TV and cooking.

I have travelled on/off across the world, taking in twenty five Countries - living and working at times in Japan, Thailand and Australia and have enjoyed a very mixed bag of jobs.

I run five personal websites for which I write all copy and articles and provide all photography.

I have had my writing and photography work published in various magazines and local newspapers. I enjoy the challenge of getting published.

'My Alien Self: My Journey Back to Me' is my self published memoir of my journey through mental illness to recovery. '39' is the sequel. I want to inspire others that it is possible to recover and have a life worth living. Many people do not understand mental illness and judge people unfairly, so I created where I publish articles on the topics covered in my story and campaign to 'stop the stigma surrounding mental illness'.

My aspirations are to be successful in fact/fiction storytelling in the mental health/relationship genres. I have unique ideas and have enjoyed various writer's retreats and short writing courses to further my writing.

I am currently studying level 4 Counselling skills at college as I would love to be able to help others' facing issues. My placement will be with homeless people who need help to move on from their adversities.

I also write thought provoking, inspiring fiction with the theme of overcoming adversities (abuse, homelessness, mental health, relationships and more)

I regularly post blogs about coping strategies, inspirational things to do, Borderline Personality disorder, depression, Obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety/panic attacks, thyroid issues, eating disorders (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia), alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse/rape, Quetiapine (Seroquel anti-psychotics) and Citalopram (anti-depressant), therapies such as Cognitive behavioural therapy and paranoia, dissociation and psychosis - all of which I have experienced in one way or another either myself or those I know. Also info on mental health charities, forums, campaigns, the stigma surrounding mental illness, some of my personal experiences, celebrities with mental health issues and mental health in the family.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Honest and brave 23 Sept. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I finished reading this book exactly one month ago. I find it really difficult to review a book that is, essentially, the story of another persons life. For this reason I have taken some time to try and strike a balance between the story and its presentation, which I truly hope I have managed to do.

The story is a no-holds-barred, this is me, account of a life packed with extremes. On many occasions I found myself actively disliking the writer. When it first happened I took a cup of coffee into my garden and thought about what I was feeling. I've undergone Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and it's good to discover why we feel the way we do instead of just reacting. My conclusion was that the author didn't like herself, at that point in her life, and I was feeling what she had felt.

I am in awe of Amanda's courage in writing this book and there were many times when she could have been describing me. For this reason I totally agree with Amanda's wanting to change the way mental illness is viewed and this leads to the presentation of the book.

I have long held the belief that mental illness is simply the way an individual mind deals with the realities of life. Society wants to file everything into neat little boxes, which in turn complicates things even more. However, I really believe that any approach to this subject is better left to after the personal story.

I actually skipped over parts that, to be brutally honest, felt a bit 'preachy' to continue the story. These parts of the book are, I feel, as important to Amanda as her personal journey and it would be a shame for them to be overlooked as they do contain an awful lot of really important information. This, I believe, is where there needs to be some serious editing; if only to separate the life that was from the life that is.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A brave and honest story that has stayed with me 25 Mar. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I read this book a few weeks ago and struggled to find the words to write a review. Not because I didn't like it but because I wanted to do it justice. I believe many will relate to a book like this either from personal experiences of mental health issues or of others they know. The story highlights the stigma still attached to mental health issues which is so frustrating. It demonstrates how hard it can be to ask for help and then to actually get help. It shows this young woman's determination to get better and to find a way to identify and recover from her BPD and OCD among other things.

Mental health issues have been misunderstood for so long and books like this one should help others to understand they are not alone and that help is there. It is a very brave and compelling read written with sincerity and brutal honesty. I believe 'Amanda' has written it in her own voice and in her own style, which works well for her story and the lack of detail of certain areas, as other reviewers have referred, is not necessary as the focus is on Amanda, as it should be for this type of story.

To lay yourself bare, warts and all, for all to read about is very brave and while there are aspects of the story that annoyed me I quickly realised that if I had written about my life then I would have those moments too! It is so easy to judge and hopefully this book will help others to understand the sometimes irrational reactions and actions of those suffering from mental health issues. It is not a choice to suffer from such illnesses and with help recovery can begin. Well done on sharing your story Amanda.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Desperate inspiration 21 Aug. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I'd heard about this book some time ago, and being a carer for a wife with severe mental illness, suffering mild mental disturbance myself and an avid campaigner to end stigma and improve mental health services, I knew I would read it... but when...
So,today I have now had time to settle down... I found it compulsive, disturbing and ultimately inspiring.I had no real exposure to mental illness when young, although we did have a distant relative resident in an "asylum" to use the word of that time.
It was only after my wife suffered post natal depression, then became ill with acute psychotic depression (now become dementia)in 2004 that I started to understand.
Reading this memoir, there were so many points where I thought I know exactly how that looks, or feels, and at times felt she could be writing about my life And that was one of the great enlightenments, because thinking of it, I know so many people who would say the same. These issues are unique to the individual, but there are many more out there with similar problems, who don't have the eloquence, courage or motivation to write such a thought-provoking, honest, heart breaking inspiring book, chronicling all the pain and emotion that mental illness can load onto a person, a family, it is just not understood by anyone who has not been through it. It is so wonderful that someone like Amanda, who has lived it, suffered it, can have the courage and nobility to write it so eloquently... this should be read by everyone out there who has any compassion for their fellow man... it will open a whole range of new experience and knowledge, which is the first major step in removing the stigma that damns us all My Alien Self: My Journey Back to Me
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Searingly honest, a unique self-aware perspective which is both ...
Searingly honest, a unique self-aware perspective which is both engaging and eye opening. The term 'un put downable' was definitely coined for this well written memoir.
Published 2 months ago by Spiritwriter
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Published 7 months ago by R D
5.0 out of 5 stars A RAW AND HONEST ACCOUNT
This is one of those books that stuck with me, for a long time afterward. Although, I knew what I was about to embark on, I clearly didn't know just how I would react. Read more
Published 7 months ago by jojo allen
5.0 out of 5 stars if you have or interested in borderline personality disorder or just...
I also have borderline personality disorder.and although not travelled as much,I was pleasantly surprised how simular I am with the feeling of the author. Read more
Published 8 months ago by miss
4.0 out of 5 stars A Compelling Read
If you're like me and love finding out what makes others tick then look no further. This is a startlingly honest and extremely interesting account of one woman's battle with... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Booklover
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
poignant and heartfelt journey of the struggles of mental health
Published 9 months ago by Charlotte Shaw
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, brave and honest
I read this a while ago and left my review on Goodreads, I am now writing it here!

I felt that for me, My Alien Self did two important things; it gave an honest... Read more
Published 9 months ago by SCDevon
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfectly written
I relate to Amanda so much and this book has given me a lot of information to take away and think about. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Misha-zee Grant
4.0 out of 5 stars BPD memoir that's powerful, passionate and full of hope.
I read this book because I was diagnosed with BPD in 2012. Like the author, for many years previous to my diagnosis I struggled with eating disorders, substance abuse, terrible... Read more
Published 12 months ago by AD33
5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read books
I find these absorbing books by Amanda Green first-rate reading. There are three reasons I would describe them as 'must-read books'. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Elizabeth Spradbery
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