Must You Go?: My Life with Harold Pinter: Amazon.co.uk: Antonia Fraser: Books

Review

'Antonia Fraser's poignant memoir Must You Go? begins in 1975 when, aged 42, she meets the playwright with 'bright black eyes' at a dinner party, sparking a 33-year love affair' (HARPER'S BAZAAR )

'Antonia Fraser writes a moving portrait of her relationship with late husband Harold Pinter' (VOGUE )

'But the book is in the end not so much a literary memoir as the simplest of love stories. As such, it's captivating' (David Sexton EVENING STANDARD )

'As the memoir, Must You Go?, movingly proves, Pinter's love of women finally reached fulfilment in a marriage of true minds' (Michael Billington WATERSTONES BOOKS QUARTERLY )

'It is neither authobiography nor biography but a love story, romantic, poignant and very funny, illuminating her husband's character and creativity' (Valerie Grove THE TIMES )

'Antonia Fraser's memoir of her life with Harold Pinter, Must You Go?, is extraordinary by any standards. Based on the diaries she kept during her 33-year relationship with the dramatist, it is simultaneously a love story, an intimate portrait of a great writer and an exercise in self-revelation' (Michael Billington THE GUARDIAN )

'This book - full of funny and tender things - satisfies on more than one level. It is an intimate account of the life and habits of a major artist; it is a pencil sketch of British high society in the second half of the 20th century; and it is, more than either of these things, and much more unusually, a wonderfully full description of the deep pleasures and comforts of married love' (Sam Leith SPECTATOR )

'Addictive and affecting as an account of a 33-year-old love affair, with walk-on parts for Vaclav Havel, Salman Rushdie, The Princess of Wales and many others, it is memorable for its intimate vignettes' (James Fergusson COUNTRY LIFE )

'After 33 years, he [Pinter] remained as besotted with Antonia Fraser as he had always been. He would write her poems, send her flowers, buy her presents...Here, astonishingly, was the Mr Darcy of Campden Hill Square: forbidding and combustible on the outside, gentle and tender at home' (James Preston EVENING STANDARD )

'Pinter's first diagnosis with cancer of the oesophagus came on 13 December 2001, soon after that public "Fall" of 11 September. Fraser traces the "steps downwards" through the eight ensuing years of sporadic anguish and relief with exemplary clarity and courage....Fraser keeps her gaze steady and her heart open' (Boyd Tonkin THE INDEPENDENT )

'It is written with palpable love, warmth, affection and a huge sense of loss for a man regarded by many as Britain's greatest living playwright before his death on Christmas Eve 2008...Must You Go? is essentially a heart-warming love story' (Charles Spencer DAILY TELEGRAPH )

'As superior gossip about literary, theatrical and political stars it is entertaining and often very funny. As a testament to a long, loving marriage it is simply touching' (Anne Chisholm SUNDAY TELEGRAPH )

'Finally this book works, just as it appears their lives worked, as the most touching and enduring of love stories...The ending, brutal and unsentimentally presented yet filled with a Tolstoyan directness of feeling, is almost unbearably moving. The whole of this lovely book fills you with gratitude that happenstance can, once in while, not screw up and find the right girl for the right boy' (Dominic Dromgoole FINANCIAL TIMES )

'This engaging memoir succeeds on two fronts. First it brings to light the private world of Harold Pinter, one of our greatest playwrights, but rather more importantly, it tells the remarkable love story between the writer and his wife Antonia Fraser...In the coming years there will be many biographies and assessments of this writer's life but none, I believe, will match the gentle intimacy of Antonia Fraser's memoir' (Graham Ball SUNDAY EXPRESS )

'Few people have the emotional capacity for a grand passion, or the talent for expressing it, as she does. Lady Antonia is a narrative historian and she has spent the year since Pinter died writing out their love story' (Victoria Glendinning DAILY MAIL )

' "No flowers on my grave," he hissed after seeing dead cornflowers on Larkin's. His wishes have been honoured in this book, which is less flowery than most elegies have a right to be, one year on. He had already approved the diary entries he'd read as "a great record of - us". (Blake Morrison GUARDIAN )

'Fraser often writes beautifully, in carefully weighted sentences charged with a mischievous wit and, finally, a heart-snagging tenderness' (Clare Allfree METRO )

'a poignant, touching and romantic tale that will illuminate a little-understood side of Pinter' (NEWS OF THE WORLD )

'Following several high-profile extracts, Antonia Fraser's memoir of her life with Nobel Prize-winning playwright Harold Pinter stormed the review pages this week' (THE BOOKSELLER )

'This book is a love story and a very moving one....There is a good test of a biography of memoir. Does it leave you thinking, I would like to have known this person? I would very much like to have known Harold Pinter - and that's not something I had thought before reading this book' (Allan Massie LITERARY REVIEW )

'A rollicking read' (Richard Fitzpatrick IRISH EXAMINER )

'For anyone interested in Harold Pinter, this is required reading' (Melanie McDonagh THE TABLET )

'The final section of Must You Go? is the strongest and most affecting, an account of Pinter's ill health, his 75th-birthday celebratins in Dublin, his Nobel Prize, his struggle to make his political voice heard and Fraser's gradual realisation that her time with Pinter is running out. This is a moving account of carefully crafted and cherished love, a theme that is, in itself, unusual' (Hilary Fannin IRISH TIMES )

'Must You Go? is wholeheartedly recommended to anybody who loves or hates Harold Pinter, has an interest in theatre or just can't resist a good old-fashioned love story' (Philip Fisher BRITISH THEATRE GUIDE WEBSITE )

'This is one of the most 'un-put-downable' books I have read in ages' (Ruth Rees CATHOLIC TIMES )

'Those who woul have liked to explore the bewitching love story that their union surely holds have to be content with occasinal details, such as Pinter's meltingly sweet focus on Fraser as he asks her, during that final ambulance ride to his death, "What are your plans - generally?". (Terri Apter TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT )

'As ever, Fraser writes beautifully. Her book is an uplifting, warm and moving tribute to her life with Harold, a man who often described himself as 'the luckiest man in the world', and a companion who is sorely missed' (GOOD BOOK GUIDE )

'Never sentimental, she enlivens every page of this affectionate memoir with humour, wit and minute observation' (Maria Perry-Robinson CATHOLIC HERALD )

'She provides considerable insight into the magnetic intellectual attraction she and Pinter exerted on each other, their respective creative processes, and the colourful characters they mixed with in London high society' (Paul Nolan HOT PRESS (Ireland) )

'Harold Pinter was one of Hackney's literary illuminati and this honest account of his big mouth and kind heart from his widow dispels some of the myths about him and allows us to consider his legacy without being deafened by his angry voice' (The Hit List by Pages of Hackney THE INDEPENDENT )

'As superior gossip about literary, theatrical and political stars, it is entertaining and often very funny. As a testament to a long, loving marriage it is simply touching' (Anne Chisholm LADY MARGARET HALL - THE BROWN BOOK )

'Her final chapters are searingly honest and often heart wrenching to read' (Lucy Popescu TRIBUNE )

'This book, then, is at once a highly readable account of a love story between two celebrities that, incidentally, 'drops' enough famous names to satisfy any gourmet gossip and a valuable source for understanding the work of one of the giants of twentieth century literature' (CONTEMPORARY REVIEW )

'it reads like an extended eulogy to a lost lover' (Michael Quinn THE STAGE )

'Lady Antonia's memoir, based on the diary she has kept since 1968, is an addictive and affecting account of her 33-year love affair with the playwright who defined his age' (COUNTRY LIFE )

'Great figures from recent (literary) history flit through its pages, but what really engages is the sense of life and love intertwining' (Ian Rankin THE GUARDIAN )

'The mutual fascination of Harold and Antonia never wavered; this luscious, name-dropping book celebrates the strange compatibility that lasted until Pinter's death in 2008' (Kate Saunders THE TIMES )

Book Description

A unique testimony to modern literature's most celebrated and enduring marriage.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful

A memoir of a love affair... 4 Sep 2010

By Jill Meyer TOP 500 REVIEWER

Format:Hardcover

Lady Antonia Fraser has written an interesting account of her life with playwright Harold Pinter. They met, while married to other people, in their mid-40's and fell head-over-heels in love. After leaving her husband - Hugh Fraser, with whom she had six children - Antonia lived with Pinter while they waited for their respective divorces to become final. They married a few years later. All in all, they were partners for 33 years until Pinter's death in 2008.

Fraser was a famous author of historical biographies and novels when she met Pinter. She kept a diary - referred to in her memoir - and supplemented the entries with updated notes. As with any autobiography/memoir, the reader can only suppose the author is being truthful in her writing. Fraser writes about working, traveling, keeping a home, and socialising with Pinter. During their time together, Pinter wrote about 10 plays, and he also acted in movies. Theirs was a full-throttled pace - and Fraser is not shy about naming names of the famous people with whom they associated. Pinter and Fraser were active in liberal politics and liberal social issues, both in the UK and outside it. Traveling to Mexico, Central America, Eastern Europe, and Israel, they participated in peace rallies and other social protests.

I enjoyed the book but I'm not sure in the end if it wasn't a recitation of places, events, and people. I "know" because I was told how much Fraser and Pinter adored each other and made a wonderful life together, but the knowledge comes from facts and not feelings as expressed by Fraser.

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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

An intriguing glimpse of another way of life 19 Feb 2010

By Kgbowen

I enjoyed this glimpse of Harold Pinter and Antonia Fraser's life together. It was at heart, a simple love story, told graciously and openly, yet discreetly and with dignity. While their story was intriguing in itself, as interesting was the life they led, the friends they had and the views they held. What was missing for me, was a little more about the impact of their love story on the people around them. How did Antonia's children take the breakup of her first marriage? What about the practicalities of access to the children after the break-up? Yet, the book doesn't claim to be an autobiography, so I guess there was a logic to these omissions. But, yes, I'm glad I read it and I enjoyed it.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

After All, She Does Have Six Children 9 Oct 2010

By Stephanie DePue TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

"Must You Go?" is by Lady Antonia Fraser, British author of many popular biographies of historical, frequently female figures, best-known, perhaps,Mary Queen Of Scots and Marie Antoinette; and a brief detective series featuring Jemima Shore, television news presenter. Lady Antonia is the daughter of a well-known literary family, known as, alternatively, the Pakenhams, or Longfords, who are almost as famous as the Mitford sisters of the 1930s. The book at hand is a memoir of her unlikely 33-year love affair/marriage with Harold Pinter, CH, CBE, internationally known British actor/playwright/screenwriter/theater director/left-wing activist and poet.

Pinter was among the most influential British playwrights of the twentieth century. In 2005, he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature: Lady Antonia says within this book that he turned down a knighthood. His writing career spanned over 50 years; he produced 29 original stage plays, 27 screenplays, many dramatic sketches, radio and TV plays, poetry, one novel, short fiction, essays, speeches, and letters. His best-known plays include "The Birthday Party" (1957), "The Caretaker"(1959), "The Homecoming" (1964), and "Betrayal" (1978), each of which he adapted to film. His screenplay adaptations of others' works include "The Servant" (1963), "The Go-Between" (1970), "The French Lieutenant's Woman" (1981), "The Trial" (1993), and "Sleuth" (2007). He also directed almost 50 stage, television, and film productions; furthermore, he acted extensively in radio, stage, television, and film productions of his own and others' works. Mind you, his works were widely considered avant-garde, not particularly easily accessible, and were not necessarily universally beloved. At any rate, Pinter died on Christmas Eve, 2008.

An unlikely romance? Pinter was Jewish, an East End boy, son of immigrants, and Antonia was very much a daughter of the establishment. And, when they met, each had been married for eighteen years: he to Vivien Merchant, widely-esteemed actress, they had one child. She, to Hugh Fraser, Scottish Member of Parliament, they had six. But the couple clicked immediately, and went on to make a life together, enjoying each other's work, their battles to better the world, their international travels. "Must You Go?" based on the diaries the author kept during the time, is funny, tender, intimate: a love story, a sketch of two creative artists at work, and of British bohemian high society.

The largely chatty, informally-written book surely drops a lot of names, mostly without explanation, unfortunately. Few will likely be known on my side of the Atlantic; even fewer to those substantially younger than the author, on both sides of the Atlantic. The author, Lady Antonia - and, in the book, she explains why she should be so addressed, not as Lady Fraser, or Pinter, or whoever--argues that she is not an establishment figure. She says she was raised in North Oxford - her father taught at the university there, Oxford, until he unexpectedly inherited family estates and a lordship. She did not, therefore, pick up the title of "Lady," until she was 30, she says, and adds that, by that age, she had been supporting herself in journalism and publishing for nine years. I've read at least Quiet as a Nun (Jemima Shore Mystery), her first Jemima Shore book, and found it too mild for my taste. If you are interested, it was filmed for British television, and is buried in ARMCHAIR THRILLER, SERIES 10. JEMIMA SHORE INVESTIGATES was a 12 episode TV series, also quite mild, made in 1983. Each is only spottily available. Sofia Coppola based her recent film Marie Antoinette [DVD] [2006] on Lady Antonia's book of the same name.

Of course, as Lady Antonia reaches her husband's final, long illness, which he bravely fought, her memoir gets much more serious and moving. But earlier on, she does quote a charming little poem she wrote to him, about the game of bridge, which they mutually loved:

FOR MY PARTNER

You're my two-hearts-as-one
Doubled into game
You're my Blackwood
You're my Gerber
You're my Grand Slam, vulnerable
Doubled and redoubled
Making all other contracts
Tame.
November 27, 1983.

Well, more years ago now than either Lady Antonia or I would like to recall, well before Pinter was in her life, I did interview her for an American newspaper, and found her, as you can surely guess, attractive, charming, and personable. And she gave me a great line that I suppose she'd successfully used before, that resulted in the interview's selling itself to further publications, including "Readers' Digest." She found, she said, that she benefited from the "after all" theory. People would say that perhaps her books were not the greatest. But, after all, she did have six children. Others might say that the six children were not the best-behaved; but after all, she did write books. Lady Antonia has raised six children and written many books. This one, I'm told, has been a best seller in the United Kingdom; it may not be that widely-appreciated on my side of the pond, but by all means read it if you like this kind of thing.