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Murderers Anonymous (Barney Thomson #3)
 
 

Murderers Anonymous (Barney Thomson #3) [Kindle Edition]

Douglas Lindsay
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product Description

Product Description

"Silver bells, grey clouds, Christmas-time in the city. Sleigh rides on snow. Santa Claus and bright-eyed children. Mulled wine and mince pies. Tinsel on pine trees, snow falling on oaks. Mistletoe and indiscretions. Peace on Earth, goodwill to men. The baby Jesus, shepherds, the Three Wise Men, Bing Crosby and Perry Como. Ding dong merrily on high, hark! the herald angels sing, good Christian men rejoice. Turkey, sage & onion stuffing and roast tatties. Cold and frosty mornings, sledging on hills of thick snow. School's out, work's closed, cold feet roasting by an open fire. In the air there's the feeling of Christmas.

Of course, it was still only October."

So begins the third Barney Thomson novel, MURDERERS ANONYMOUS, in which we find the most infamous barber in the world back behind the chair. Having handed himself in to the police and been rejected as 'just another Barney Thomson amongst many thousands', Barney returns to what he does best: handing out the finest haircuts ever seen in the western hemisphere.

However, in trying to come to terms with his murder-ridden past, he joins the local branch of Murderers Anonymous, bringing him once more into contact with the deranged, the criminally insane and the out-and-out sadistically naughty. In no time at all there's a killer reducing the population of Glasgow on a daily basis, and the hapless Barney is soon caught up in this tangled web of death, butchery and Elvis.


Praise for THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON

"This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed... an impressive debut novel." –
Sunday Mirror

"The plot, Russian literature fans, is a modern spin on Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. The bloody ending, movie buffs, is pure Reservoir Dogs." – The Mirror

"This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs." – New Woman

Praise for THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT:

“A mad, macabre romp with surreal characters and cutting black humour.” – The Sunday Mirror

“Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny.” – Daily Telegraph

“A novel which is both genuinely silly and a fun read.” – The Scotsman

“A flawless follow-up to an impressive debut, this is extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns.” – The List

“Lindsay’s burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story; fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque. With more talent than Irvine Welsh could dream of, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style.” – What’s On


About the author:

Douglas Lindsay is the author of the Barney Thomson crime series, which begins with THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON, and is currently seven novels and a novella strong. THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT is the second book in the series, and MURDERERS ANONYMOUS is number three. Douglas is also the author of LOST IN JAUREZ. He lives in Somerset.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 603 KB
  • Print Length: 321 pages
  • Publisher: Blasted Heath (24 Dec 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language English
  • ASIN: B006PY6UHC
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #99,390 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Douglas Lindsay
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
By McDroll
Format:Kindle Edition
So at around 2am this morning I got to the end of Barney Thomson number 3 and do you know what that stinky wee devil Lindsay made me do? Yep, there I was desperately scrolling through my kindle to get to Barney Thomson number 4. You know, I've got a lot of other books that I've promised some very nice and well-deserving writers that I'll read and review, there's one about a goat and a couple of cowboys standing at the end of my bed sighing and tapping their toes at me. But no, there I was delving further into the mad world of Barney Thomson, unable to put number 4 down until I was satisfied that... Ah, well - I'm not telling you that, you'll just have to read it for yourself to find out what made me so desperate as I snuggled up in a sleeping bag at the back of my cave.

I was delighted to see the return of Proudfoot in this crazy tale. She's the kind of woman that I like, bored, screwed up and reading trashy novels. Poor wee soul got such a hard time of it up in that monastery with the mad monks, no wonder the polis have put her on lighter duties!

And what about our hero? Wee Barney, the man in the street, the wee chap you see down the co-op buying a single scotch pie? He's in the book too. Just as well I suppose but oh dear, nobody wants to know the wee soul. So many other loonies are turning up at police stations up and down the country claiming to be Barney Thomson that when he visits his local cop shop they send him away with a veritable flee in his ear. Sad wee chap.

There's nothing for it so he goes back to the only thing he knows, cutting hair.

After that there's quite a lot of stuff about murders and serial killers, Lindsay has to put that in because he has a certain quota of dead bodies stipulated in his contract. I think he must get paid pro rata.

There's also quite a few chapters that are pretty much digressions where Lindsay lets rip on all manner of stuff; Elvis features quite heavily in this book.

And if you want sex, yes, there's sex too but I'll warn you, it's Scottish sex so maybe not what you're used to if you're reading this in L.A.

Don't read number 3 if you haven't read 1 & 2 but read them all you must. Crazy, irreverent, nutty, violent, bloody and incredibly well written. How annoying is that? A writer who's so good he makes it look easy...sheesh!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:  1 review
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
More from the crazy world of Barney Thomson 8 Jan 2012
By McDroll - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
So at around 2am this morning I got to the end of Barney Thomson number 3 and do you know what that stinky wee devil Lindsay made me do? Yep, there I was desperately scrolling through my kindle to get to Barney Thomson number 4. You know, I've got a lot of other books that I've promised some very nice and well-deserving writers that I'll read and review, there's one about a goat and a couple of cowboys standing at the end of my bed sighing and tapping their toes at me. But no, there I was delving further into the mad world of Barney Thomson, unable to put number 4 down until I was satisfied that... Ah, well - I'm not telling you that, you'll just have to read it for yourself to find out what made me so desperate as I snuggled up in a sleeping bag at the back of my cave.

I was delighted to see the return of Proudfoot in this crazy tale. She's the kind of woman that I like, bored, screwed up and reading trashy novels. Poor wee soul got such a hard time of it up in that monastery with the mad monks, no wonder the polis have put her on lighter duties!

And what about our hero? Wee Barney, the man in the street, the wee chap you see down the co-op buying a single scotch pie? He's in the book too. Just as well I suppose but oh dear, nobody wants to know the wee soul. So many other loonies are turning up at police stations up and down the country claiming to be Barney Thomson that when he visits his local cop shop they send him away with a veritable flee in his ear. Sad wee chap.

There's nothing for it so he goes back to the only thing he knows, cutting hair.

After that there's quite a lot of stuff about murders and serial killers, Lindsay has to put that in because he has a certain quota of dead bodies stipulated in his contract. I think he must get paid pro rata.

There's also quite a few chapters that are pretty much digressions where Lindsay lets rip on all manner of stuff; Elvis features quite heavily in this book.

And if you want sex, yes, there's sex too but I'll warn you, it's Scottish sex so maybe not what you're used to if you're reading this in L.A.

Don't read number 3 if you haven't read 1 & 2 but read them all you must. Crazy, irreverent, nutty, violent, bloody and incredibly well written. How annoying is that? A writer who's so good he makes it look easy...sheesh!
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