"I know this is tongue-in-cheek, but my tongue completely pierced through my cheek. The baddies entering the scene with Hard house playing in the background? What a shambles."
"This seems popular with the compilations for rubbish films. I agree, not scary at all, and totally over-hyped. My back garden is scarier than those woods!"
"Absolutely shocking. I'm glad that the kid is all alone, shame it wasn't in a darkened sound proof room where I could forget he ever existed... along with this film."
"Wow, he can fly. Woohoo. Now he can fly places so fast that he can zoom out of the overly-complicating storyline, into another sequel which will bear no difference from the original."
"Oh God, this one was atrocious. I cannot believe that Matt Damon would want to appear in this complicated yet tacky film. The only upside was the fake German accent from the female lead!"