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A Mother Apart: How to Let Go of Guilt and Find Happiness Living Apart from Your Child
 
 
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A Mother Apart: How to Let Go of Guilt and Find Happiness Living Apart from Your Child (Paperback)

by Sarah Hart (Author) "Before we can set about freeing ourselves from painful feelings and negative beliefs, it's important that we know where they originate from and exactly what..." (more)
4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
RRP: £12.99
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Product details

  • Paperback: 242 pages
  • Publisher: Crown House Publishing; illustrated edition edition (14 Feb 2008)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1845900944
  • ISBN-13: 978-1845900946
  • Product Dimensions: 21.8 x 18.2 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 93,415 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories:

    #12 in  Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Raising Children > Divorce & Children
    #32 in  Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Divorce
    #39 in  Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Motherhood

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Product Description

Review
In this touching, inspiring and deeply wise book, Sarah Hart has distilled the wisdom of her extensive personal and professional experience. It is a book to treasure, to return to again and again as compassion, insight and useful practical suggestions leap off every page. Sarah covers all the struggles and heartaches mothers in this situation are likely to encounter and shows us how to reach a deeper healing and love than we might ever have imagined possible. I am delighted such a beautiful book has been written at last about such a painful and frequently misjudged subject and wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone interested in the challenges of love, especially mothers, and most of all to those who love their children from afar. Anne Geraghty - author of In the Dark and Still Moving --Anne Geraghty - author of In the Dark and Still Moving

'A thoughtful and sensitive guide to a difficult issue', Psychologies --Psychologies

A much-needed perspective for women who are re-examining their roles and responsibilities as mothers. Maria Housden author of Hannah's Gift and Unravelled --Maria Housden author of Hannah's Gift and Unravelled

Product Description
A Mother Apart is for women who have chosen to live apart from their child as well as those who are suffering separation that had nothing to do with a direct, personal decision to leave a child, including: non-resident mothers, mothers who have shared residency, mothers with regular contact, or those who only see their child sporadically, long distant mothers, those who have deteriorated contact and mothers who have no contact with their children. Whatever the reason, being separated from a child can be devastatingly painful. If you are a mother apart looking for no-judgemental support, A Mother Apart is for you. It also provides a useful resource for family, friends and professionals who want to understand and support women who live apart from their children.

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Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
Before we can set about freeing ourselves from painful feelings and negative beliefs, it's important that we know where they originate from and exactly what they are. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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A Mother Apart: How to Let Go of Guilt and Find Happiness Living Apart from Your Child
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A Mother Apart: How to Let Go of Guilt and Find Happiness Living Apart from Your Child 4.8 out of 5 stars (4)
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Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
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Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book) 5.0 out of 5 stars (3)
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4.8 out of 5 stars (4 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Shadows, 25 April 2008
'Nothing is permanent. The only thing we can really be sure of is change. Some changes are harder to cope with than others, and it's our attitude to managing loss and how we learn from our experiences that determines our growth and serenity.' (Mothers Apart chapter 8 page 11). To be given the role of mother is a gift from God. To hold your own child in your arms for the first time, and look at the big eyes of longing gives a mother a feeling so deep, powerful and secure you know this is for life. There are no rules about parenting, there are supposedly no grey areas, you are a mum, you are a dad. You will share your lives together, from babyhood and those first walking steps through to the turbulent teenage years of school pressures, and new found love and relationships. A mum is always there with a shoulder to cry on. You look forward to the celebrations, university graduation, marriage, grandchildren, you know you are going to share these moments with your children forever.

It is not in the life plan that a child you have bought up and loved will suddenly disown their mother, and walk away from all she has given. What does a mother do then? She cries in her pillow, she feels empty inside, and grieves and tries desperately to hang on to something of that precious gift from God. She gets angry, and is is surprising that she might find she cant cope with the awfulness of love taken away from her heart. She seeks solace in friends, religion, maybe pills - anything to take the pain in her soul away forever and bring her child back again. She feels ashamed she can't move on - a child doesn't leave his/her mother. Others will look at a mother in shame, some mothers can never bring themselves to tell others that their child or children don't live with them. They hide in secret with their tears and isolation.

Sarah Hart's wonderful book allows these mothers to grieve openly and to share their experiences with others. By talking about their experiences will help them heal. 'We can't heal our redundant negative feelings alone. We need others to hear our story and help us heal ourselves. When someone we trust listens to us they validate the difficult situation we found ourselves in, and the choices that were open to us and the decisions we made.' (Mothers Apart, Chapter 2 p. 23). The book also tries to sensitively exam the reasons behind a child's estrangement from his/her mother, and how to deal with their hostility, to remember they are frightened and vulnerable, torn in an adult confrontation of revenge from the very two people that child loves most - his/her mum and dad. It offers strategies to help a mum cope with the enraged younger with real case histories. 'Sometimes we have an exchange of text messages because she won't talk to me directly, and she writes such hurtful things and I can't believe how angry she is at what's happened. It is bad enough when it's about things I caused but she blames me for the hard times she had at the hands of (her father and stepmother) as well (Mothers Apart chapter 8 p. 116).

Sarah Hart's attempts to give mothers a simplified explanation of the recognition of Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS) which was coined in 1985 by Dr. Richard A Gardner. She does this with clarity and thought. 'Dr Gardner observed and described PAS as a disroder that occurs solely in child-custody disputes in which a child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with the unjustified vilification of the other parent'. (Mother Apart chapter 10, p 141).

And finally Sarah Hart gives mothers apart real hope that by working on themselves they can move on with their own lives, whilst keeping the shadows of their former life there in the distance in case the life plan should change again.

My youngest daughter came on holiday with me last year, for the first time in five years we were alone together in a confined space. We were friends for a while, then something was said and the terrible rage returned. 'The next morning the sun shone, the sea shimmered and my daughter seemed a little less angry. I kept a distance. We spent the day together, but sometimes apart, sometimes she called me mum, other times she didn't. (Mothers Apart chapter 11 p. 155.

Thank you Sarah Hart for your inspiration, guidance and love.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Mother Apart - A Must Read Book for Mothers Excluded from Their Children's Lives Post-Separation/Divorce, 18 April 2008
Losing contact with your children after your relationship or marriage breaks down is the most difficult, life-changing experience any mother could be asked to cope with. Feelings of failure and inadequacy as a parent and also as a human being not unexpectedly quickly follow, particularly as society today still expects children to remain with their mother following divorce.

Only a mother having experienced the pain, anguish and loss first hand could begin to understand what this is like and aim to help other mothers cope with their loss and rebuild their self-esteem and respect back again once more.

Sarah Hart's unique book positively explores this process and takes mothers apart from their children on a journey of understanding, coping, acceptance, and finally positive and hopeful change. Sarah understands from her own experiences how hard it is for mothers to move forward with their lives after being excluded from their children's lives for whatever reason. Advice and guidance provided in this book is sensitive and realistic and the inclusion of other mother's experiences adds to the deeper understanding of the emotional and psychological challenges that can be faced over many years.

I am particularly indebted to Sarah for including a section on Parental Alienation which is one of the most devastating forms of emotional abuse which befalls an increasing number of children caught in the "divorce war" between their parents, where they are "forced" by the controlling parent to exclude their other loving and committed parent from their lives. There is growing understanding of the impact of Parental Alienation internationally amongst child psychiatrists and psychologists. The hope is that one day it will be a fully recognised medical condition which the Family Courts will take on board in cases of residency disputes so that children's relationships with both parents, which they are entitled to according Human Rights legislation, is properly protected.

Lisa Cohen (on behalf of JUMP - Jewish Unity for Multiple Parenting)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Resource for 'Mothers Apart', 23 April 2008
By S. Jarvis "Sue J" (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This is an important book which will be a lifeline for mothers who for whatever reason find themselves living apart from their children. As well as raising awareness of 'Mothers Apart' as an issue, the book offers compassionate practical guidance and support in dealing with the many challenges that face a woman struggling to love her children 'from afar'. Sarah writes from personal experience and her warmth and understanding shine through its pages. This is a book to keep and treasure, a positive and affirming companion to reassure and strengthen those mothering 'against the odds'.
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4.0 out of 5 stars A Mother Apart.. a book to make sense of things
I was recommeded to buy this through the Mothers Apart from their Children website and it is a MUST for any Mother (and Grandparent) who is forced to live without their children... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Juliette S. Crane

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