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No More MR Nice Guy a Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life Hardcover – 18 Dec 2002


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Product details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Running Press,U.S. (18 Dec. 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0762415339
  • ISBN-13: 978-0762415335
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 15.9 x 25.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 6,235 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Jason, a chiropractor in his midthirties, began his first session of individual theraphy with this introduction. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on 7 April 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I downloaded this book as I believe my husband is 'a Mr Nice Guy' and wow, its so accurate.I think the negatives reviews are either from people who this doesn't relate to or perhaps from people who fear the messages in the book.Upshot is that 'nice guys' use non positive (often destructive) ways to get their needs met, often passive aggressive behaviour.The author confronts that thinking, explains how the thought processes develop from childhood and suggest ways that the thinking can be changed.I have searched for books which help with spouses understand passive aggressive behaviour and this is the best so far.

There are short exercises to do after each section which clarifies thinking.The strong message is is "no one on this planet is responsible for meeting your needs, you solely own that responsibility".

The target audience is male however this is a self help book that can also benefit anyone who struggles to get their needs met in relationships.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on 8 Mar. 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
As a frustrated and therefore passive agressive 'nice guy' I found this book extremely helpful. The idea that I have made a contract with life that if I am nice to people then 'life' will have to meet all my emotional needs was not too much of a shock but nevertheless, starkly what I needed to read. Yes, it's a bit long but great material doesn't always come in great packaging. I will be recommending it to a friend who is a self-confessed people pleaser. The only thing I disagree with so far is the Mr Glover's idea that 'integrity is deciding what feels right and doing it'. Oh dear. The world is in trouble precisely because of those sort of sentiments. The right way is often the hard way and not the way that feels right at-all. Aside from this, thank you Mr Glover, really.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Lucky Star on 24 Oct. 2014
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This book absolutely blew me away.

All my life i have been looking for something to explain why I felt a certain way towards the world and everyone in it; inside I was always pretending to be someone that I was not and not feeling fulfilled in my own skin.

This book goes to the very core of why trying to be nice / good to others (especially the opposite sex) in an attempt to win their respect is completely the wrong approach to take, taking into account and analysing the most formative years of our development as human beings; our childhood and our relationship (or lack of) with our parent(s).

It's often said that you need to hear common sense for it to become common sense. This book does all of this and more.

Save your money on psychologists / therapists / relationship counsellors and read this book.

Highly recommended.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Deepak Balakrishnan on 4 Feb. 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book has been able to provide a very clear insight into the nice guy attitude and it is very helpful in the fact that there is guidelines given inside the book that is very helpful into turning/retraining aspects of ones life.

A definite read for a nice guy
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a book that has had a huge impact on me after the first reading - I am about to start reading again (as advised by the author)

The astonishing thing about this book is that it in every page the author seems to know me personally. I kept thinking 'that's me - I do that!' At first it was a bit scary and then hugely reassuring to know that my outook on life was so well understood and so commonly represented by millions of men around the world.

Dr Glover takes apart the myth that the world today (especially women) want and respect 'nice guys'. Let's be clear, this book does not advocate being a jerk. It is not about being horrible, nasty, dumping on others or any other negative view that might spring to mind with this title. The author agonised a bit over the title and it has probably put a few off buying it but the thing is that Dr Glover explains in depth the issues of the 'nice guy' and so he is being real to himself and his readers by sticking to the title.

The author is extremely qualified and experienced in his field and the reader can have huge faith in the breadth and depth of the research within it. He has conducted somewhere in the region of 1500+ focus groups and workshops and written this book over a period of six years. he is also able to cite many successes.

If you are the sort of person who belives that others come first, that it is selfish to seek anything for yourself, that it is better to 'settle' than get what is your right - the right to achieve the most happiness that you can in this short life, then this is for you.

I would describe this book as a 'jaw dropper'. It will feel like the author has been spying on you and reading your thoughts.
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This is one of those rare books that just hits the nail on the head. Period. As I read it, so many of the experiences of others seemed like a narrative of aspects of my own life. Over the past few months, various events have meant that I have started to become aware of many of the traits described within this book - and them 'not working'. However, this has mostly lead to a sense of confusion because of a lack of trust of my own judgement.

Some of the concepts of the book I have been realising for myself, but without any 'reference' or connected thinking and with a large helping of naivety, it is very difficult to get a handle on them on your own. This book has really helped to identify traits that I have - blindly and persistently - believed are 'good', despite them rarely working.

If you go through life trying to please people, worrying about what others think of you and never *truly* putting yourself first then this book might be a real eye opener - it has been for me.
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