Mixed Nuts [DVD]

Nora Ephron usually writes entertaining movies (she wrote this one with her sister Delia) and Steve Martin usually picks good movies to star in. With this in mind, "Mixed Nuts" is surprisingly bad. It's a farce without any good jokes, filled with characters that are annoying rather than funny. The Ephrons apparently find it hilarious when people sing with funny voices, and both Madeline Kahn and Adam Sandler embarrass themselves doing it in several scenes that completely fails to be funny. It's a shame a good cast was wasted on a script that should never have been greenlighted. Don't waste your money.

Christmas is a time of goodwill, cheer and joy. Barring that, it can also be a time of random violence, phone perverts and flying fruitcakes.

Guess which kind of movie "Mixed Nuts" is.

And while the first half of the movie is a bit slow-moving, this mildly warped Steve Martin comedy tackles the ongoing woes of a bunch of lonely, rather crazy people thrown together on Christmas Eve. While it techically contains a heartwarming message, Nora and Delia Ephron prefer to focus on the increasingly frenetic characters and their escalating problems.

Philip (Martin) has just received an eviction notice for his suicide hotline, though he neglects to tell his coworkers, mousy Catherine (Rita Wilson) and sooty Mrs. Munchnik (Madeline Kahn). To make matters worse, Mrs. Munchnik gets stuck in the elevator, and Philip is unceremoniously dumped by his chilly fiancee.

As Philip tries to deal with his deteriorating life, the hotline receives some oddball Christmas guests -- insane pregnant Gracie (Juliette Lewis), depressed drag queen Chris (an unrecognizable Liev Schreiber), and some dork with a ukelele (Adam Sadler). And since Gracie gave Catherine a makeover, Philip is starting to see her with new eyes.

Unfortunately, Gracie has just dumped her penniless artist boyfriend Felix (Anthony LaPaglia) -- and he runs in with a gun. Several gunshots later, the "mixed nuts" find themselves in extremely deep trouble -- their shared Christmas present is a dead body.

"Mixed Nuts" has two things I personally like: a warped holiday spirit, and a bunch of people as pathetic as I am. Admittedly the plot starts rather slowly, with amusing but not hugely funny jokes (including a Madeleine Kahn rapping a plea for help from a stalled elevator) and the impending destruction of the "Lifesavers" suicide line.

But after the cast is introduced to one another, the subplots and running jokes tighten into a solidly-written little whirlwind, where seemingly random elements turn out to important. And as if the plot weren't wonderfully frenetic enough, the Ephrons sprinkle in some running gags about a fruitcake, a dog-lover, a pair of vengeful rollerbladers, a phone pervert and a kelp-strewing serial killer who is a lot closer than anyone thinks.

And Delia and Nora Ephron do a good job weaving in some understated romances (including a rather sweet one between Chris and Ukelele Dork), and switching between heartwarming and mockery of the same ("There is hope in every pothole!"). And it has some truly awful songs from Ukelele Dork ("I like eating cheese, it taste very nice. Everyone likes cheese, especially white mice").

Martin plays a surprisingly restrained role: a good-hearted but socially-inept man whose world is crashing around his ears. Rita Wilson is sweet as his kindly coworker, and Kahn is an absolute riot ("Men would have sex with a tree!"). Schreiber does a brilliant job balancing Chris' loneliness with some gutsplitting comedy -- especially when it's revealed that Chris has a VERY low pain threshold.

Additionally, LaPaglia and Lewis both do an excellent job as crazed soulmates who unfortunately have managed to procreate, and Rob Reiner has a fun cameo as a vet who is constantly called upon to minister to human animals. And Adam Sandler is... Adam Sandler. Interpret that as you will.

The title of "Mixed Nuts" pretty much tells you what the movie is about -- it's a Yuletide comedy that balances out heartwarming romance with warped, mildly sick comedy. Definitely a must-see.

What makes one person laugh might make another cringe, so I can only offer my personal opinion on Mixed Nuts and say that, personally, I found Mixed Nuts one of the worst comedies ever made. The French original, La Pere Noel est une Ordure, was not a great movie, but it did have some very funny gags and, amid moments of hysteria, had some beautifully underplayed comic moments. Unfortunately, this much lighter cover version is played at top volume and fever pitch almost from the start and is frequently just painful to watch. It boasts a talented cast (and Adam Sandler, here at his most irritating ever), the script isn't exactly terrible, but everyone seems to be overcompensating for the film's deficiencies so excessively that it is embarrassing to watch as Martin falls over for the umpteenth time for no good reason or Madeline Kahn hams it up to the point where you can feel the nausea rising in the back of your throat.

The two major offenders here are Nora Ephron's pitiful direction and George Fenton's horrendous score, a classic example of 'Mickey Mousing' the film to point out "here come the jokes" in the knowledge that you wouldn't notice them otherwise. Like too many of the players, they're both trying way, way too hard and clearly have no trust or confidence in their material.

For those familiar with 'Pere Noel,' the tone is lightened considerably - the dead body is no longer an innocent bystander but an unsympathetic character, and he no longer ends up fed to the zoo animals, for example. On the plus side, Juliette Lewis is nowhere near as bad as her French counterpart, Anthony La Paglia is okay, Rob Reiner very good in a nothing part and Liev Schrieber is good as long as he isn't required to do anything too ridiculous. But it's all too easy to believe the look of disgust on Martin's face near the end is real and only too clear that everyone involved knew that they were on a sinking ship with no lifeboats.