- Paperback: 335 pages
- Publisher: Fawcett; 1 edition (1 Feb 1996)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0449909611
- ISBN-13: 978-0449909614
- Product Dimensions: 21.2 x 14 x 1.9 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,532,637 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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More About the Author
Product Description
Product Description
Mixed matches are more complicated relationships than those between people from similar backgrounds. Often, the very qualities that attracted us to our partners ultimately lie at the roots of our most difficult problems. For even when partners don't feel a strong identification with their racial, religious, or cultural groups, they discover that their loyalty to the past goes deeper than they realized. Psychotherapist Joel Crohn has learned in years of counseling couples in cross-cultural relationships that how partners negotiate their cultural and religious differences is as important as what the difference are.
Over time, the reserve of a Protestant wife can seem like emotional withholding to her Jewish husband, whose openness seems intrusive to her. An Asian father may feel his children need more discipline, while his American wife thinks they have it harder than she did. A black Trinidadian man is excited about the opportunities in the United States, while his Detroit-born black girlfriend thinks he's naive about racism. The methods in Mixed Matches have helped these and many other couples approach each other compassionately, teaching them to "translate" their different styles of expression and negotiate successful resolutions. Dr. Crohn also offers practical advice on how couples can confront prejudice and stereotypes, deal with in-laws, and help children achieve a sense of identity in a bicultural family.
Over time, the reserve of a Protestant wife can seem like emotional withholding to her Jewish husband, whose openness seems intrusive to her. An Asian father may feel his children need more discipline, while his American wife thinks they have it harder than she did. A black Trinidadian man is excited about the opportunities in the United States, while his Detroit-born black girlfriend thinks he's naive about racism. The methods in Mixed Matches have helped these and many other couples approach each other compassionately, teaching them to "translate" their different styles of expression and negotiate successful resolutions. Dr. Crohn also offers practical advice on how couples can confront prejudice and stereotypes, deal with in-laws, and help children achieve a sense of identity in a bicultural family.
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Customer Reviews
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Thoughtful insights on difficult issues in a mixed marriage,
By A Customer
This review is from: Mixed Matches (Paperback)
Crohn's book gets you started thinking about the issues that are amplified even more in a inter-ethnic, interracial, inter-religious marriage: dealing with in-laws, hidden expectations, raising children in a cross cultural environment and instilling a sense of identity in them. I recomend it highly. The sooner you read the book, the more time you have to deal with these issues. Besides, it is comforting to know you are not the only couple dealing with these issues :)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.0 out of 5 stars (8 customer reviews) 23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Thoughtful insights on difficult issues in a mixed marriage,
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Mixed Matches (Paperback)
Crohn's book gets you started thinking about the issues that are amplified even more in a inter-ethnic, interracial, inter-religious marriage: dealing with in-laws, hidden expectations, raising children in a cross cultural environment and instilling a sense of identity in them. I recomend it highly. The sooner you read the book, the more time you have to deal with these issues. Besides, it is comforting to know you are not the only couple dealing with these issues :)
27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
An in-depth look at interfaith and interethnic relationships,
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Mixed Matches (Paperback)
If you're looking for quick practical advice on meeting your partner's parents or what to wear to an Indian wedding, try the "Complete Idiot's Guide to Interfaith Relationships." But if you're looking for a deeper, more thoughtful discussion of the complexities of "mixed matches," especially their impact on the family and children, this book is for you. It delves into a very astute exploration of the motivations and attractions behind interfaith/interethnic/interracial relationships, and it thoroughly explores the difficulties involved in negotiating differences as they impact the partnership and the family. The discussion on raising children in "mixed" households is particularly enlightening. This book is heavy on the pyschology, which might be a turn-off to some, but it definitely gets the reader thinking about complex underlying issues.
36 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
A useful book,
By John Peter O'connor - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Mixed Matches (Paperback)
The author considers many aspects of "Mixed Matches" covering how we feel about and deal with ourselves, our partners, family, friends, strangers and finally our children.The approach is mostly to quote annecdotal material from situations that illustrate the point the the author wishes to make. These are then followed by his personal, rather "folksy" advice. The style will not appeal to all readers and especially, it may not be so effective at helping a relationship once problems have become entrenched. However, as a book to read before this happens, it is very useful. I'd stronlgy recommend it to anyone in the early stages of a mixed relationship. It will prepare you for some of the trials ahead and you will be much better equipped to deal with them. |
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