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Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts [Kindle Edition]

Carol Tavris , Elliot Aronson
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)

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PRAISE FOR "MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY "ME")""" "Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, "Mistakes Were Made" is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and--if we're honest--ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer."--Francine Prose, "O, The Oprah Magazine "

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and--when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells--mortifying."--"The Wall Street Journal"

The Times

A brilliant new book.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 616 KB
  • Print Length: 296 pages
  • Publisher: Pinter & Martin; 2 edition (23 Aug 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00ERAQN64
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #55,180 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
72 of 72 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This is an excellent book! 19 Jun 2008
I'm currently halfway through this book, and have to say it's one of the most interesting books I've read for a long time. It is absolutely jampacked full of references to psychology studies and examples from history which are illustrative of human nature.

The core of the book centres around the idea of cognitive dissonance, where the brain has to reconcile two contrasting viewpoints. For example the self belief that " I am rational and intelligent" with the action " I am slowly killing myself by smoking". The dissonance could be resolved by concluding that actually I am neither rational nor especially intelligent, but of course no one wants to conclude that! So instead I look for levers to reduce the gap in the other direction. Smoking helps me to relax, and stress is a big killer, smoking helps me to keep my weight down and obesity is a big health problem. And so on......

that idea in itself is not especially remarkable, but what is remarkable is the wealth of studies that investigate the impact of cognitive dissonance upon our day-to-day lives. Like for example how students who are made to conduct a rigorous initiation event prior to assessing the quality and usefulness of a recorded debate are far more likely to rate the debate as interesting and informative rather than students who are not required to go through such an initiation. The cognitive dissonance here is between the gap "I'm a rational and intelligent person" and "I've put myself through all this hard work to listen to this debate". Rather than conclude that we have wasted our time, which calls into question our intelligence, we instead resolve the dissonance by subconsciously overrating the usefulness or importance of what we have just listened to.

If this sparks your interest, then this book is for you. It is a fascinating insight into human nature and will help you understand both other people and more importantly yourself a lot better.
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43 of 43 people found the following review helpful
For clear, engaging explanations of psychological research, this is one of the best books you can get. Cognitive biases are like optical illusions, distorting our decisions, memories and judgement. This book focuses in particular on self-directed biases: the distortions of memory and explanation that make sure that each of us is the hero, not the villain, or our own life story.

When corrupt police frame innocent people, how do they justify to themselves what they are doing? When a couple divorce, how can two former lovers come to hate each other with such passion? When political or military mistakes lead to thousands of deaths, how do the decision-makers live with themselves? The authors take academic research (on cognitive dissonance, stereotypes, obedience and more) and apply it to a wide spectrum of issues from the White House to Mel Gibson's racism.

It is eye-opening to read how malleable and unreliable memory is, and how easy it is to create feedback loops of increasing certainty from just a glimmer of evidence. An appalling example is the recovered memory craze of the 80s and 90s, which is discussed at length. The book isn't entirely downbeat, even though it explains how prosecutions, marriages or therapy sessions can go terribly wrong. It shows how easy it is for good people to hurt others, but that we can avoid these traps with humility and self-questioning. They call science "a form of arrogance control".

A theme running through the work of these two psychologists is how science can address real problems of human conflict. That warm, humane spirit pervades this book and I think anybody curious about the science or the solutions would benefit from reading it.
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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Reality Check with a Positive Ending 19 April 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I bought this book partly on the strength of the other amazon reviews and was particularly pleased with it. Before reading it I noted this book was a 'straight read' with no illustrations, yet it was a gripping book from start to finish. The writing style was straight to the point and easy to read. The content was from wide ranging examples, yet always kept the thread of the main ideas.
I imagine this is a book that virtually everyone will find personally relevant. Whilst not written as another self help book, it certainly made me re-examine my own actions, as well as seeing faults in others. The last chapter was the unpatronising, uplifting icing on the cake (and I am not about to spoil it.)
People who enjoyed Stuart Sutherlands brilliant book 'Irrationality' will also love this one.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Psychology can be entertaining 5 July 2009
This book falls in the category of popular science. A challenge to write well, but the authors manage perfectly well. Cognitive dissonance theory is the main gate to understanding how and why people so easily practice self-justification, even when they obviously are in the wrong. The book gives examples from all of life's scenes, from marriage and friendship to professional activities, to crime and political practicies. It contains hard science, anectodes and interesting examples from all the above mentioned areas, and more. Both professional psychologists and peope without any connection to this fiels at all have a lot to learn from this book.
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58 of 64 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining, informative but seriously flawed 10 April 2011
This book is entertaining, informative and has a valuable message, but it is also seriously flawed.

Tavris and Aronson want to convince us of the truth of Festinger's theory of `Cognitive Dissonance' and the perils of self-justification. They emphasise that the theory has been scientifically validated, based on the results of studies that are methodologically sound, some of them controlled randomised trials (the `Gold Standard' of methodology in social psychological research). They warn us of the danger of `confirmation bias' - the process of giving due weight to evidence which confirms our ideas and playing down or dismissing evidence that disconfirms them (p 18).

The first flaw is that the whole book is an exercise in confirmation bias. Tavris and Aronson present only evidence which supports their theory. They do not name any social psychologist who disagrees with them; they do not present any scientific studies that disconfirm their theory; they do not even present any studies with neutral results (i.e. that neither confirm nor disconfirm their theory). This is in spite of the fact that they warn us of the need to be sceptical (p 105) and the need to actively search for disconfirming evidence, `The scientific method consists of the use of procedures designed to show not that our predictions and hypotheses are right, but that they might be wrong' (p 108).

The second flaw is that a substantial part of the book consists of anecdotes (true stories that illustrate the point being made). But, as social psychologists emphasising their scientific credentials, Tavris and Aronson must know that anecdotal evidence is the weakest form of evidence scientifically but the most effective in convincing us, their readers, to believe them.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Very intersting
Highly recommend despite it being mostly about Americans as it's actually a universal phenomena
Published 2 months ago by Trishk
5.0 out of 5 stars A very enlightening book, one of the most interesting I have read.
Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) by Elliot Aronson and Carol Tavris Title sounds like a self help book but it's not. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Mr. N. J. Houchin
5.0 out of 5 stars A frightening revelation that you can't trust your own judgment (or...
This draws upon research to discuss the capacity of the human brain/mind to select facts to form opinions in its own self interest. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Dubuary
5.0 out of 5 stars Why we get things wrong and go on getting them wrong - fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating. How all of us - but particularly those in authority - screw things up and go on screwing them up rather than admit we were ever wrong. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Jago
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Interesting book
Published 4 months ago by Jacob
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential
It took me a while to getting around to read this.
But i wish i did sooner.

There is something really fundamental about this book, or subject.. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Kristian Pilgaard
4.0 out of 5 stars Clearly explains the concepts.
Although not a text book, it sets out the psychological concepts of Attribution Bias. But is written by American authors, so is less interesting to a U.K. reader.
Published 8 months ago by Robert Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent explanation of why people in holes don't stop digging
With examples from the battlefield to the bedroom, this book describes the crucially under-appreciated role of cognitive dissonance - selective belief in things that confirm your... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Mr. T. O. Womack
4.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening
Sometimes you know there's a problem but can't quite put your finger on it. This book identified traits we all have in some form or other, but there are characters we all know who... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Ms P
4.0 out of 5 stars Superb
This should be enforced reading for every politician. Outstanding thesis on why it is so had for us to admit our own mistakes. Read more
Published 10 months ago by hardnut
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