About a month back John O'Keefe put out that he was looking for people to review his new book, Misfits: Who Are You Including?. I love the title and jumped at the chance to read it. I admit it was more out of the desire to read it than review it. To review the book was an excuse. A couple of weeks later the book landed in my mailbox and in my hands. I started reading with high interest and a critical eye. As many of you know (and some do not), I challenge those who say they are inclusive. I challenge them a lot. I have a set of personal, yes personal, standards that I think you and your gathering should look like to be able to hold the "inclusive" label. I feel if your going to publicly put it out there you should be able to back it. In our tribe, the emergent/the conversation, we have made an idol out of that word. We hold it with great pride and yet we are still missing the mark. Sadly, for the most part, many of us in this conversation fail to see we are still deciding who is "in" and who is "out." So with this bias and personal taste I read the book. I realized this book wasn't for me. Let me explain who it is for, but first, let me tell who John O'Keefe is.
For many of us John O'Keefe is a staple to the conversation. I know he has been for me, for a lot of years. He is known for ginkworld.net, which I loved, and for his ever challenge to us to stop looking at a part of a person, but their whole. He is known for his work at TheOOZE, which as many of you know is where my journey started, and for his work as a Pastor. In my opinion, John is a part of the beginning of the "emergent" conversation and for that I respect him a lot. Yes, I even have bias where the is concerned. For myself that gives him a powerful voice in our circles. If anything he knows what it is like to be the misfit among the "in" crowd and even the "out" crowd. (as anyone knows TheOOZE was the "out" crowd of the "out" crowd) I say all this to let y'all know, those who have not been impacted by John, to know that he gets "it." When you say "I'm a misfit." John gets it, because that is his journey as well. He isn't speaking from a place of others teaching him, although that is part of it, but he speaks from a place of knowing. That matters to me. It means he isn't above me, but right beside me. This also means he can be trusted when writing a book about being a misfit. So, don't think John is writing through a lens of someone else, no he is one of us.
Our world, our society is changing. It has been for a long time. The Church (universal, why the capital "C") has been slow, stubbornly slow, to accept that. It wants to cling to the past and in doing so is slowly losing relevance to society. John masterfully paints a true picture of what the Church is doing and if they continue on this path what they have to lose. He doesn't sugar coat it and I have to say I like that a lot. He does call out names, but not to be mean or under cutting. He does this to show the true face of those who are the gate keepers of the Church. He also brings faces to the misfits. He shares personal stories of those who have been labeled "misfits" and how the "in" crowd is not only damaging people, but missing out on the richness of their inclusion. It should be noted that John does not just focus on the LGBTQ community and I have to praise him for this. I cheered when I read him mention special needs people (ie: autism, spectrum's of mental retardation, those who need assistance via a wheel chair, ect). Thank God someone didn't miss my other tribe, those that I work with! I often read far too many books that speak about LGBTQ, homeless, and other groups as the "out" group, never once speaking of those with special needs. I mean, I get it, working with those who are homeless is a bit more cool in our emergent tribe than someone like me who works with these kids that are flying their arms about and being way too loud. However, John includes them. Major good check mark in my book.
This book, still wasn't for me. Let me tell you who it is for. It is for those who need a push. Not a gentle one, but a big one. It is for those who are in the classic church, in every sense of those words. If you look around your church, your tribe, and they look like cookie cutters of the pastor, this book is for you. The nice thing about this book is the most important thing about this book. It is NOT and I mean NOT meant to be read alone. It is meant to be read in community. This cannot be stressed enough. John has put questions and talking points at the end of each chapter. This allows for a community to wrestle with what he has written about and to do some deep self examination. Folks, this is where change happens and O'Keefe gets that. If your desiring to stay in your church, but tired of seeing misfits leave your gathering or not even enter, get this book. Use it for a small group gathering. Start with the "small" stuff and work your way to the "big" stuff. John O'Keefe's book is perfect for that. Be ready to be challenged. He will step on your toes. Go into it with your gathering with an open mind and a willingness to change. This book will change you, but only if you willingly embrace the challenge. John will ask you to look straight into the mirror of yourself, your church, and your world, then ask you to smash it to look at reality. The question is, are you ready to do so? I encourage you to do so. I beg you to. Let me end this section with one thing, we are all misfits. If you think you aren't, I suggest you look again. We all are. Take the time to embrace that and allow John's book to help you embrace other misfits a long your journey.
Now, I want to put in a word of caution, which is why this book wasn't for me. For those who consider themselves misfits. Do not use this book as a weapon. Listen, we all have our stories and we all have our hurts. My dear misfits, let me tell you something, we are not victims. We can either decide to be better because of our stories or we can decide to use it to be a martyr. The reason Misfits was not for me is because I realize a fellow journey member is speaking for us. He also isn't using the book to whack people over the head. He is using it to help better others. Here is my suggestion, my dear friends, when you read this book step back and place your conservative "other" in the place of "misfit." Here is my challenge for you, I want you to realize that us misfits have a misfits to our tribe. We have decided if you don't use our language, look like us (hipster, hippy, tattooed, pierced, and altogether don't look "messy") your "out." This book honestly is not meant for us, it is for our counterparts. Use it to speak for you to someone that needs that push, but understand it maybe you that gets pushed too. We say their weapon is the bible and our weapon of choice is book authors. Do not use this book that way. I feel it is far important to be treated with that. Use Misfits: Who Are You Including? to start a conversation with those who need to hear this book. However, use it, my dear fellow misfit, to ask yourself, who are YOU including? I have a feeling you'll see your actually not the misfit you think you are, but have very well made a new "in" crowd thus single handed make some misfits yourself.
