The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events No. 4) [Hardcover]

'A return to the dark pages sad orphan tales result in happy book sales' New York Post

Fourth in the Series of Unfortunate Events aimed at children aged eight and over, this yarn is once again based around the incredibly wealthy, incredibly unlucky Baudelaire children. Violet, Klaus and Sunny have long since been orphaned, and are on the run from their cruel uncle Count Olaf, a revolting man with one eyebrow and an unquenchable desire to get his hands on the family fortune. Trading on the misery and misadventure that relentlessly trails the children wherever they go, the story follows them to Paltryville, a town so awful that, if it were listed in a guide book, there would only be one helpful hint about what to do when you get there - leave! Unfortunately they can't, because it's home to the Lucky Smells Lumbermill and their new guardian, and things just go from bad to worse. The disaster-prone siblings are put to work in the grim environs of the mill, with a foreman who's a monster, a stick of gum for lunch, and the constant threat of a visit from Uncle Olaf - who also happens to be a master of disguise - and his nasty crew of miscreants. The author's rather knowing, chummy style grates on occasion, especially with the frequent interpretations of Sunny's baby talk, and the omnipresent first-person narrative often comes across as more of a hindrance than a help. Nevertheless, the large audience at which it's aimed will be delighted as one unsavoury incident follows another and the orphans never get a break, and there's enough misery to ensure they'll hungrily devour this addition to what has become an exceedingly popular series. (Kirkus UK)

Mr Poe delivers the three Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and little Sunny, to their new guardian, the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill in Paltryville. But far from living in the mill, they rapidly discover they will be working there and even worse, there is a book in the library by a Dr Orwell, sinisterly shaped like Count Olaf's eye tattoo. Each morning Foreman Flacutono wakes the workers by banging metal pots together and directs them through a day of arduous logscraping, with only chewing gum for lunch and damp casserole for dinner. Their guardian, a terrifying man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, known only as 'Sir', proposes unsatisfactorily that if they work in his mill, he'll 'try' to keep Count Olaf away. Klaus trips over Foreman Flacutono's strategically placed foot and his glasses get broken. He returns from the village eye doctor, none other than Dr Orwell, strangely changed. Violet believes Klaus has been hypnotised, and when they discover Dr Orwell's receptionist, Shirley, is really Count Olaf dressed horribly, her worst fears are confirmed. Dr Orwell herself becomes the victim of the nasty accident at the lumbermill she, Foreman Flacutono and Shirley have arranged. Sir decides to pack the children off to their next dismal adventure at The Austere Academy.

Dear Customer,
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this CD because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the volumes describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, this might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumbermill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.
These include, I’m sorry to inform you, such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.
I have promised to record the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if your customers prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

--This text refers to the Unknown Binding edition.

Lemony Snicket, Read by Lemony Snicket --This text refers to the Unknown Binding edition.