Popular music has always attracted the kind of morally bankrupt individuals who are too unhinged to hold down a proper job. And that's just as well. After all, if your local fishmonger told you he'd just snorted his father's ashes, you might think twice about doing business with him. But when Keith Richards says it, you think 'Nice one, Keef!' and have a flick through your iPod to find 'Honky Tonk Women'. From deeply suspect sexual politics to crackpot religions, Musicians' elevated position in popular culture allows them to hold forth freely on subjects about which they know precious little. For the first time, Mind The Bollocks collects some of the finest stools of wisdom ever to fall from their foul, ill-educated mouths. Mind The Bollocks also digs beneath the culture of nonsense surrounding popular music and asks: Are the X-Factor auditions all they appear to be? Is there really a musical frequency that can make you soil yourself? And which world-renowned rock guitarist sliced his own penis off? All is revealed herein, with bonus satanic messages included if you read it backwards. Word count: 40,000
Mind the Bollocks
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Johnny Sharp has a humorous and witty sense of style while writing about a topic that he is obviously passionate about. If you have a music lover on your Christmas list, this just might be the book that you are looking for. --http://www.agoddessoffrugality.com
We are indebted to ex-NME scribe and erstwhile Loaded writer Johnny Sharp who has done the world the great service of trawling through old music mags and newspapers to find priceless examples of genius artists and classic albums getting completely slated on release. And that s just the first chapter. --Loaded, Dec issue
We are indebted to ex-NME scribe and erstwhile Loaded writer Johnny Sharp who has done the world the great service of trawling through old music mags and newspapers to find priceless examples of genius artists and classic albums getting completely slated on release. And that s just the first chapter. --Loaded, Dec issue
About the Author
Johnny writes regularly for The Guardian, Q, Mojo, and London Lite, and who was one of the NME's best known feature writers, working under his school nickname Johnny Cigarettes. He has also contributed to publications as diverse as The Daily Telegraph, Bizarre, loaded, Viz, and Militant.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Tim Collins
Format:Paperback
That rare thing - a dark, angular, epic, widescreen sophomore effort. A real return to form, his best since Crap Lyrics. The bit about review cliches is worth the price of admission alone.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By Jamie Anson
Format:Paperback
A big fan of Johnny Cigarettes from his days at NME ... this is incredibly funny, well worth it if you're a fan of reading about stupid musicians.
By GeordiePhil
Format:Paperback
I was given Crap Lyrics his first book a couple of years ago and found it really amusing - Which isn't like me because the Music bizzzz has never really been my thing. I had forgotten about it until I saw this while Xmas shopping for cheap presents. Well I read it on the tube home and then finished it the next day and someone got a bottle of wine instead. I'm really quite puzzled as to how this bloke rates as 'a discovery' rather than as 'well known' and boring everyone from XFM to Radio 5. It's not about music per se but about pretentiousness more or less. What makes it funnier is that on P1 he dobs himself in it because he claimed for Melody Maker in 1994 that Oasis were rubbish and wouldn't go far!
It's not a toilet book but a commute book - and there's nothing wrong with that!
It's not a toilet book but a commute book - and there's nothing wrong with that!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good
It's alright, not bad. I'm not a music journo so can write a review like that...
To be fair it's a good read, funny in a lot of places, interesting in others.
To be fair it's a good read, funny in a lot of places, interesting in others.
Published 5 months ago by m_meredith27
2.0 out of 5 stars
Terrible ebook design
Sharp's a funny man, but whoever formatted this ebook is a dolt: it looks like it's been tested on a tablet but not on an e-ink kindle. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Gary Marshall
3.0 out of 5 stars
Miscellany
Formatted like a punk fanzine, with a distinctive luminescent orange cover, this slim, allusively-titled compilation of pop trivia is unlikely to trouble the publishers of Schott's... Read more
Published 8 months ago by S. Bailey
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