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Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Get seriously involved with the classic guide to surviving the opposite sex Paperback – 17 Oct 2005


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Product details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins; (Reissue) edition (17 Oct 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 8172235038
  • ISBN-13: 978-8172235031
  • Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (341 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 301,756 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon Review

A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times

“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman

“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Helly on 13 Nov 2001
Format: Paperback
Brillant, for long relationships. It helps in relationship problems as well as understanding the opposite sex.This book is great because it deals with both male and female sides. NOWAY, is this book just for females.So, listen up this book can improve your relationship! Hope you buy this book because you'll be mad not to!
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 23 Feb 2004
Format: Paperback
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 17 April 2000
Format: Audio Cassette Verified Purchase
If you don't mind the rather "touchy-feely" approach,this is an excellent guide to communication within relationships.Having compared notes with my husband,it really does seem as if Mr. Gray has a good insight to both sides of the gender divide.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Haunted Doll on 1 Aug 2006
Format: Audio CD
I first read this book over a year ago and have just re-read it recently. I found it very insightful and so helpful on both occasions.

I think it is definitely worth reading and you may learn something new.

I learnt new ways to communicate with my boyfriend and turn what we had into the relationship i had always wanted. I also learnt valuable lessons about myself and my own behaviour and realised that some of the things i said or did were having a destructive effect on our relationship - it definitely wasn't all my boyfriend's fault as i had originally thought.

The love letters are an invaluable tool for organising your thoughts rather than just launching into an argument - it pays to take a deep breath and write one using the structured guide. I guarantee you will be surprised at some of the feelings and thoughts that come out.

I have recently passed this book to a friend and it has been so rewarding to see her take control of her relationship using the advice it contains. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a new approach to their relationship.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 9 Mar 2001
Format: Paperback
When I finally got round to reading this book, I was pleasantly surprised. Gray does make alot of valid observations about "Venusians" and "Martians".....even if it is an overview. The main thing I learned from this book was that your partner won't necessarily love you the way you love them. I'm in an LDR and would get frustrated at how my partner would react (or not) to situations etc...this book helped me see that they love a different way.....and just because it is not the way you show love, it doesn't mean they don't love you. By reading this book before I even hit marriage, I hope that divorce will never be an option. I did think there'd be more on "relationhip issues" such as sex, friends, work, finances etc like another reviewer mentioned.
An excellent book......it will definitely de-mist some areas of your relationship and bring understanding to your partner's behaviours and reasons for them...but hopefully his other titles include what this book lacked.
Buy it and see for yourself.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By K. Roycroft on 1 April 2008
Format: Paperback
Reading this book helped me more than I could have imagined. The author describes male and female attributes in a realistic way and I could see myself and my other half reflected in his words. I didn't even realise that I had a communication problem; I was given this book and read it out of curiosity. Each section of the book reveals strikingly simple yet hugely important points which can really help the way you interact and communicate with others, even if you're not in a relationship. There are key ideas which require a little bit of work to break your bad habits and implement the new way of speaking. I see that Amazon do not stock this book any more, but I strongly recommend getting hold of a copy from the marketplace as this book has proved to be invaluable to me. Take it step by step and if you are having serious relationship issues try and get your partner to read along with you and share the experience. It's a real eye-opener.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 24 July 2000
Format: Paperback
This is the book that helped me understand the female sychie, and helped me understand the often irrational approach my wife took when dealing with day to day life in our marriage. I recomend this book to any man who is sick of banging his head against a brick wall, and just needs to understand this beautiful but often complex species.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 21 Oct 2001
Format: Paperback
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.
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