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Men Can Do It: The Real Reason Dads Don't Do Childcare, and What Men and Women Should Do About It Paperback – 27 May 2013


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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: ngo.media (27 May 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0955369533
  • ISBN-13: 978-0955369537
  • Product Dimensions: 19.7 x 2 x 13.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 342,943 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Gideon Burrows' latest book is Chilli Britain: A Hot & Fruity Adventure.

Gideon spent the 2014 chilli growing season with the burgeoning community of chilli growers, sorcerers, eaters and obsessives to ask: What makes Chilli Britain tick?

The result is humorous and surprising travel tale, celebrating Britain's growing craze for all things hot and fruity.

Gideon is also author of Men Can Do It: The real reason dads don't do childcare, which was awarded Self Published Book of the Year 2014.

His other books include Living Low Grade about living with a slow-growing brain tumour, Write for Charity, and a series of books on the arms trade.

Gideon worked as campaigns co-ordinator for Campaign Against Arms Trade before becoming a journalist writing on social justice, charities and public affairs. He was a staff journalist on Community Care magazine, then worked on various sector titles including Third Sector, Guardian Society, Social Enterprise and Municipal Journal.

Gideon founded ngo.media in 1998 to provide editorial and copywriting services, and training on copywriting, marketing and media, for charities. ngo.media quickly became the charity sector's leading editorial and writing training agency.

Gideon has trained hundreds of charities across the UK on every aspect of their communications work.

In May 2012, Gideon was diagnosed with an incurable, inoperable brain tumour, which he blogs about at Bicycles and Brain Tumours.

He lives by the sea in Northern Ireland, has two children, five bicycles and a comprehensive, though generally failing, vegetable patch.

Product Description

Review

A highly entertaining plea for men to become great dads... An engaging manifesto: proof that dads can be capable and caring when it comes to babies --Oliver James, broadcaster, child psychologist and author of 'How Not to F*** Them Up' and 'Love Bombing'

Gideon Burrows perceptively and powerfully takes on the last taboo in childcare, challenging the very foundations of the contemporary debate about parenting. --Duncan Fisher OBE, co-founder of The Fatherhood Institute and Dad.info

Witty and honest. A wake-up call for all new parents. --Hello! magazine

Men can do it and we need to talk about that more. A very timely book. --Fiona Millar, author of The Secret World of the Working Mother

About the Author

Gideon Burrows is a writer and involved father. He didn't realise other men didn't do an equal role in childcare, until it was too late to change. Just like his wife, he spends half the working week looking after their children. Gideon has written a number of books on charity communication and the arms trade. He has also worked as a freelance and staff journalist for The Guardian, Third Sector, Community Care, The New Statesman, New Start and Municipal Journal. He has written for hundreds of charities, working on their websites, newsletters, fundraising materials and annual reports.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Andrea Gilpin on 16 May 2013
Format: Paperback
Ok where to start about how brilliant this book is...
Firstly it is a witty entertaining read - just what tired parents need! It really is a page turner and I never thought I would say that about a book dealing with parenting...
It is based on solid research, blows up the idea of the growing trend of dads in aprons (I wondered where they all were - thought it was just Wales that was missing them) and has given us a whole new idea of how to do things that will make family life ... well better for all of us.
If only we had read this before (or in the earlier stages of) having children - rather than when they are 5, 11 and 13. But it is never too late and we are inspired!
Highly recommended..
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Gorga on 19 May 2013
Format: Paperback
I'm ashamed to write that, due to trying to juggle childcare for three young children and work part time, I haven't actually finished a book for years. This is the exception. The author has made this book an easy and entertaining read. His fluent writing style is accompanied by witty and honest confessions and his arguments are backed up by in depth research, adding further weight to the notion of fairer parenting. In fact, this book prompted a much needed discussion between my partner and I about how we might change our current arrangments for a better quality of life for our family. This included a bit of rebalancing all the way through to him taking a career break, with me returning to work full time. I would recommend this book to all parents to be, to prompt informed discussions before social stereotyping leads the way over rational decision making. I would also recommend it to all existing parents seeking a more harmonious and rewarding family life. The author clearly took the route to fairer parenting and makes it clear it's the best decision he and his wife made. Reading the Epilogue, this becomes even more poignant.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've never written a review of anything on amazon before (and I've bought enough). But this book has given me so much food for thought - it is as much manual as manifesto - that I can't recommend it highly enough.

I was wondering why I read so much in newspapers etc about dads doing more hands on parenting/childcare these days - and yet most relationships I could see involved the mum being the main carer and the dad doing a bit at weekends. Why when most of my friends are fairly liberal and progressive in their views, when children came along, it all went quite 1950s - and why they all had individual explanations for why that was, adamant that they weren't sexist. Contradictory arguments ('it's because he's self employed/I'm self employed I have to look after the children while he works...' 'my job was much more secure/less secure, so it made sense for me to take a lot of time off or go part time...') - but all leading to the same scenario. Mum takes a huge step back in terms of work - often thinking it will be temporary, when it isn't - dad is put under pressure to earn more to compensate, works longer hours, becomes much less competent with the children than she is, and ultimately becomes more of a stranger to their own family.

This books shines a light on the sexist expectations and scenarios that come with parenthood - and how we are compicit with them, often without being aware of it. And certainly not meaning to be. It's a myth buster - and really radically assertive about the role dads can and should play. It's also an argument for a healthier, happier family life and the rewards that a close and caring relationship with your children can bring.

But dull and worthy it ain't. It's a very easy, entertaining read that's actually quite uplifting. You don't often get to say that about books involving sexual politics and parenting.
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Format: Paperback
An unexpectedly touching love story of a man who realises that he has the option to take a back seat approach to childcare or to be as hands-on as he likes, and that society does not view these options as being so acceptable for his wife.

Well aware that he can keep his established career and will still be awarded a title of 'good dad' by just helping mum out with direct childcare jobs at the weekends, he sees that his wife on the other hand is expedited to forgo many more activities outside the home.

Aiming for fairness and equality he actively decides to let career oppotunities go in order to take on responsibility for half of direct and indirect childcare jobs in an act of devotion and respect for his wife. He discovers that not only can he do it, but also that all those s***ty jobs that go with childcare are well worth it for the closeness and happiness this approach has brought to his family and his marriage.

This book has made me realise all of the jobs such as making sure there are clean clothes and nappies and food available, buying gifts for parties etc are all still indirect childcare, and that all aspects of childcare beyond labour and breastfeeding shouldn't necessarily be done by me.

It's made me think about all sorts of things from what is fair, to why I wanted to go back to work after DS1, to realising how I may be my own worst enemy when it comes to stepping back to let DH take more responsibility. It's made me laugh, cry and more importantly have conversations I didn't know I needed to have that have lead to many positive changes in our family.

This is a beautifully written, witty book with a bittersweet twist at the end, containing a great deal to think about after the kids have gone to bed.

A must read for parents with children of any age.
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