There comes a time in every chap's life when a quick blast on the Rods of Justice are called for. What rods, you ask? The parallel rods containing two opposing teams of six miniature footballers, of course. Insert said rods into a custom-built frame, add two goals (one at either end), colour the players to incite a sense of rivalry, lob in a miniature football, and there you have it. Football. Or as our German cousins and the cast of Friends would have it, Fussball. This mini fussball kit is a kit for mini fusspots. Designed to look and feel just like its full-size, real-life big brother, its inherent woodiness and retro-feel laddishness will transport you back to the halcyon days of one's teens, down the local youth club, with just a can of Diamond White and a mate called Darren for company. With every detail in place, including a twin scoring system and handles that won't let you down in mid-stramash, it comes with instructions for easy self-assembly at home or even in the office. Once set-up, battle can duly commence. It's you against Darren. Leeds United against Derby County. Billy Bremner against Charlie George. A kinder, gentler footballing time, when the nation liked nothing more than a 90-minute goalmouth scramble, a pie and a pint at half time and bus ride home, all with change from 75 new pence. Happy days.