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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships [Paperback]

John Gray
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)

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There is a newer edition of this item:
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Get Seriously Involved with the Classic Guide to Surviving the Opposite Sex Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Get Seriously Involved with the Classic Guide to Surviving the Opposite Sex 4.1 out of 5 stars (187)
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Book Description

1993
A practical guide for improving communication within relationships, helping both sexes get what they want from love and friendship. The author encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love and helps men and women accept each other's emotional needs.


Product details

  • Paperback: 286 pages
  • Publisher: Thorsons; 1st paperback edition (1993)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 072252840X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0722528402
  • Product Dimensions: 21.2 x 13.6 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 178,729 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

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Product Description

Amazon Review

A classic and unique self-help book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon- free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always…" or "women just don't understand…". Instead, he says: "Remember, Venusians are from a different planet, therefore…" or, "Martians need…" This in itself is worthwhile tactic, removing blame-culture and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that a person in a relationship say to their partner, what that person intends them to mean and what the person to whom it is directed actually hears, or thinks they mean. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

Each chapter takes situations from either the Venusian or Martian side, making the book easy to dip into, as well as enjoyable to read cover to cover. The case for each interplanetary race is put simply and in a very down-to-earth manner, and the book avoids trying to be too clever for its own good.

Some tips from the book: Venusians take note--Martians also have monthly cycles of emotions, and need to retreat into their "cave" every now and then, so Venusians needn't feel shut out when their favourite Martian retreats without a word. The Martians could help by telling the Venusians that while they are retreating right now, they will soon be back out and they will then discuss any concerns the Venusians have. Martians should be reassured that, although Venusians climb down into their well every now and then, it is not that the Martians have hurt them--they too are taking time out. Their favourite Venusian will be back soon, ready to re-embrace their closeness.

The personality of the author shines through, the tone of the book being helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies--all in all, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

Review

“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times

“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman

“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
In his book John Gray looks at the way men and women differ. How they are in fact very different animals. How men can be silent and quiet at just the time when women need them to talk. How men offer solutions when a women talks to him while she only wants an ear to listen (and I mean listen not pretend to). He explores many other areas where we differ. He lays out step by step methods to improve, repair and set relationships alight. I would suggest that everyone should read it who is in a relationship, whether they think it is good or otherwise.

He also looks at friends, collegues and other relationships.

The 13 chapters look at different parts of relationships, teach how to allow space, time and understanding to relationships. How to communicate, how to resolve conflict, leading to how to avoid conflict. I read it the first time in 3 days. It is a book to re-read there is always something more to gain from the pages.

He explores techniques of letter writing to resolve arguments. They work!

Throughout the book he uses examples from both his personal life and from his practice.

John Gray's writing is easy to read and keeps the reader's interest.

I really have benefited from this fantastic work.

Thank you John.

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53 of 56 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
In my humble opinion, Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide. I had two relationships of 15 years+ and each went down the tubes - and to be totally honest - I didn't know why! Having read this book:
- I now know why both ended
- how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving
- If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other
- But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Man and Woman should read this book. 21 Oct 2001
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars must have
second time I have owned this book it is a must have well worth a read and pass it on
Published 2 days ago by Mrs. Jean Thomosn
4.0 out of 5 stars Men are from Mars women are from Venus by John Gray
I found his theories on men and women entirely credible and some very useful tips on preventing misunderstandings in marriage!
Published 14 days ago by william harper
5.0 out of 5 stars Book
Not had the chance to start reading this book yet but it came in excellent condition. Great price and with no wear or tear.
Published 22 days ago by George David Blakeley
3.0 out of 5 stars Difficult
I am finding it a difficult read, I do not like the format of the writing though it had been recommended to me. Read more
Published 22 days ago by Ann Marie Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars great!
i love this book! i think that everybody who is in a relationship or is thinking on being in one (and would like it to be happy and sucesfull) should read it! Read more
Published 1 month ago by aon
4.0 out of 5 stars Men are from mars, women are from venus.
This was a gift for my son and his girlfriend. I got it for them as they were having problems in their relationship and i thought that it might help them. Don't know if it did...
Published 1 month ago by Heather Simmonds
4.0 out of 5 stars really interesting read.
Really pleased with the fast delivery and condition of the book. Its a really good read and insight into the why men and women are different and how to accept and support our... Read more
Published 1 month ago by melissa darcy
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book
After misplacing my original copy many years ago I recently bought the book again and enjoyed reading it. It is such a clever book.
Published 1 month ago by Mrs. H.
5.0 out of 5 stars men are from mars women are from venus
An excellent well written book which is very easy to revise and go back to pick out the relevant passages which refer to my life.
Published 1 month ago by Eileen Brand
4.0 out of 5 stars was excellent service 1st class
was exactly what it said on the information well good value for the money and arrived before the due date
Published 1 month ago by sharon mills
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