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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships [Paperback]

John Gray
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (266 customer reviews)

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Get Seriously Involved with the Classic Guide to Surviving the Opposite Sex Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Get Seriously Involved with the Classic Guide to Surviving the Opposite Sex 4.1 out of 5 stars (266)
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Book Description

A practical guide for improving communication within relationships, helping both sexes get what they want from love and friendship. The author encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love and helps men and women accept each other's emotional needs.

Product details

  • Paperback: 286 pages
  • Publisher: Thorsons; 1st Uk Paperback Edition edition (1993)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 072252840X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0722528402
  • Product Dimensions: 21.2 x 13.6 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (266 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 199,057 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

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Product Description

Amazon Review

A classic and unique self-help book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon- free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always…" or "women just don't understand…". Instead, he says: "Remember, Venusians are from a different planet, therefore…" or, "Martians need…" This in itself is worthwhile tactic, removing blame-culture and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that a person in a relationship say to their partner, what that person intends them to mean and what the person to whom it is directed actually hears, or thinks they mean. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

Each chapter takes situations from either the Venusian or Martian side, making the book easy to dip into, as well as enjoyable to read cover to cover. The case for each interplanetary race is put simply and in a very down-to-earth manner, and the book avoids trying to be too clever for its own good.

Some tips from the book: Venusians take note--Martians also have monthly cycles of emotions, and need to retreat into their "cave" every now and then, so Venusians needn't feel shut out when their favourite Martian retreats without a word. The Martians could help by telling the Venusians that while they are retreating right now, they will soon be back out and they will then discuss any concerns the Venusians have. Martians should be reassured that, although Venusians climb down into their well every now and then, it is not that the Martians have hurt them--they too are taking time out. Their favourite Venusian will be back soon, ready to re-embrace their closeness.

The personality of the author shines through, the tone of the book being helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies--all in all, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine


“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times

“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman

“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For anyone in a long relationship 13 Nov 2001
By Helly
Brillant, for long relationships. It helps in relationship problems as well as understanding the opposite sex.This book is great because it deals with both male and female sides. NOWAY, is this book just for females.So, listen up this book can improve your relationship! Hope you buy this book because you'll be mad not to!
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36 of 38 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars an excellent guide to how the other half thinks 17 April 2000
By A Customer
Format:Audio Cassette|Verified Purchase
If you don't mind the rather "touchy-feely" approach,this is an excellent guide to communication within relationships.Having compared notes with my husband,it really does seem as if Mr. Gray has a good insight to both sides of the gender divide.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant 10 Oct 2010
Format:Audio CD|Verified Purchase
This really does make you realise men are from a different planet. Helps to understand them and not to worry to much when they 'retreat into their caves'
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful indeed! 15 Jun 2005
By A Customer
Format:Audio CD
This book is amazing! It goes into such detail about how men and women think differently and how and what they hear when their partner speaks to them. Excellent book if you would like to better understand your partner. Just get him to read it too!! I found it really improved my understanding of how my husband thinks. It also helped me to understand myself better and why I think and feel certain ways. It just makes sence! Read this book if your relationship is in any kind of trouble!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a WONDERFUL BOOK! 25 May 2009
This is by far one of my favorite books, never before has anyone been so dead on when it comes to relationships. I found myself laughing while reading, due to its description of my very own relationship. Of course I made my boyfriend read it but I think we've both benefited from it. I personally think this book should be made mandatory to get a marriage license! I also highly recommend: Become a Total Man Magnet: Make Every Man Fall in Love with You Instantly - Make Him Chase You Down Desperately and Beg for Attention
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
I was amazed to read the various comments putting this book down. I don't think it is overly simplistic at all but provides a sound philosophy based on those annoying differences between Martians and Venusians that we all recognise, but rarely dare to speak of for fear of being non P.C. Perhaps if I'd read this years ago I wouldn't be on my fourth husband! As it is, I am now very happy - and even more so now I understand the cave mentality syndrome and my own 'wellian' depths. Thank you John Gray and Bonnie for a well thought out, well written,and very enjoyable book. It was so good that despite my husband rarely reading any type of 'relationships' book, he too has read it, enjoyed it and learned about both Martians and Venusians. Well worth the cost - and I've mailed it to my daughter and two friends too!
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
In his book John Gray looks at the way men and women differ. How they are in fact very different animals. How men can be silent and quiet at just the time when women need them to talk. How men offer solutions when a women talks to him while she only wants an ear to listen (and I mean listen not pretend to). He explores many other areas where we differ. He lays out step by step methods to improve, repair and set relationships alight. I would suggest that everyone should read it who is in a relationship, whether they think it is good or otherwise.
He also looks at friends, collegues and other relationships.
The 13 chapters look at different parts of relationships, teach how to allow space, time and understanding to relationships. How to communicate, how to resolve conflict, leading to how to avoid conflict. I read it the first time in 3 days. It is a book to re-read there is always something more to gain from the pages.
He explores techniques of letter writing to resolve arguments. They work!
Throughout the book he uses examples from both his personal life and from his practice.
John Gray's writing is easy to read and keeps the reader's interest.
I really have benefited from this fantastic work.
Thank you John.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A very educative book
This book made it me learn a lot about relationships. I learnt a lot about the males that it helped me understand my husband better. It is a book to have.
Published 2 days ago by suemwi
2.0 out of 5 stars Strange
This book is a bit strange... great read for a better understanding of the opp sex, but it's a bit over the top... use you're own judgement on your own relationship
Published 11 days ago by Hema
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Brilliant
I love this book and it's has all the essential ingredients you need in understand both sexes in terms of relationship. Read more
Published 15 days ago by Charles Conteh
5.0 out of 5 stars It's true!
It's true! We ARE from different planets, and will NEVER understand one another! -:D The sooner we accept this, and learn to adjust(men AND women! Read more
Published 18 days ago by A. Rolls
1.0 out of 5 stars Not great
I understand men and women are different!! It's nice to know what makes men tick But I think it coukd have been written better. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Rosa D'Angelo
2.0 out of 5 stars Avoid it
Idiotic sexist drivel. Catch a rocket back to Mars, Dr Gray. Not worth spending your money on, buy a DVD of Sharknado instead.
Published 1 month ago by Dark Knight
4.0 out of 5 stars Not a one-size fits all, but full of valuable advice
Everything suddenly made sense after reading this book, and now I use it as a guide all the time. I couldn't believe that what I was reading about women wasn't already obvious to... Read more
Published 1 month ago by K. Stephenson
4.0 out of 5 stars Its a book
The book is stating the obvious ... a may or may not like....personally found it hard going & basically states the obvious about the differences between the sexes.
Published 2 months ago by CM Dealtry
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
Have heard about this book so many times that I finally decided to buy it.
It was written a longer time ago than I realised and is written in typical American style. Read more
Published 2 months ago by S. Morley-Newman
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
I highly recommend this book to both sexes. It gives a great insight to how males and females work in all types of relationships. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Cherry
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