Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
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A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.
He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.
The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
Review
“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times
“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman
“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
34 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide,
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This review is from: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships (Paperback)
In my humble opinion, Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide. I had two relationships of 15 years+ and each went down the tubes - and to be totally honest - I didn't know why! Having read this book:
- I now know why both ended - how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving - If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other - But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Understanding the different langauge of men and women,
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This review is from: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships (Paperback)
I love this book, it took me a while to get through this book which is not long really roughly a week. I have never forgotten one of the main messages in this book, which is men go to their cave while women chat, this book is a treasure for all relationships as a tool into understanding the meanings of our language we use in which to communicate ....a valuable book which will resonate personally for each person. A book you will hold onto and hand down like an heir loom...I have often used some of the guidance with my own children and once read you never forget what helps you. It realy opened my eyes to the depths of relationships and helped understand a language that we use....A must have book for all relationships and makes so much sense.
I am personaly thankful for reading this book as it has helped me grow in understanding how men relate .... Much love to you dee weldon bird
21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It saved me!,
By
This review is from: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships (Paperback)
I read this book in a week, not reading more than 2 hours a day! It is just amazing how it got me totally involved!
After a hard period with my boyfriend, and after my mother reccommended it to me for months, I finally decided to give it a chance. What happened is that I understood some of "common sense" things, some of which my boyfriend was trying to explain for long time unsuccessfully, because what made the difference is a clear and simple way of saying them. In a "loving" way! The author holds a PhD in psychology, and has a lot of experience so he is able to communicate his messagge in a successfull way. Personally, it saved my relationship from sinking forever. Now I understand that I was always loved, even my "rubber band" boyfriend had the need to "pull away" to fulfill his need for independence. I strongly suggest it to everyone, it can change your life. The fact that it is so repetitive is because it is supposed to teach, and not just to entratain, so for the message to get through it needs to be repeated. It worked with me. Now I can't wait for my boyfriend to read it as well. I feel like an entire new life is in front of me, thank to this book!
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