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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships [Kindle Edition]

John Gray
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (309 customer reviews)

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Amazon Review

A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine


“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times

“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman

“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For anyone in a long relationship 13 Nov 2001
By Helly
Brillant, for long relationships. It helps in relationship problems as well as understanding the opposite sex.This book is great because it deals with both male and female sides. NOWAY, is this book just for females.So, listen up this book can improve your relationship! Hope you buy this book because you'll be mad not to!
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars an excellent guide to how the other half thinks 17 April 2000
By A Customer
Format:Audio Cassette|Verified Purchase
If you don't mind the rather "touchy-feely" approach,this is an excellent guide to communication within relationships.Having compared notes with my husband,it really does seem as if Mr. Gray has a good insight to both sides of the gender divide.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
When I finally got round to reading this book, I was pleasantly surprised. Gray does make alot of valid observations about "Venusians" and "Martians".....even if it is an overview. The main thing I learned from this book was that your partner won't necessarily love you the way you love them. I'm in an LDR and would get frustrated at how my partner would react (or not) to situations etc...this book helped me see that they love a different way.....and just because it is not the way you show love, it doesn't mean they don't love you. By reading this book before I even hit marriage, I hope that divorce will never be an option. I did think there'd be more on "relationhip issues" such as sex, friends, work, finances etc like another reviewer mentioned.
An excellent will definitely de-mist some areas of your relationship and bring understanding to your partner's behaviours and reasons for them...but hopefully his other titles include what this book lacked.
Buy it and see for yourself.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful must have relationship handbook! 1 Aug 2006
Format:Audio CD
I first read this book over a year ago and have just re-read it recently. I found it very insightful and so helpful on both occasions.

I think it is definitely worth reading and you may learn something new.

I learnt new ways to communicate with my boyfriend and turn what we had into the relationship i had always wanted. I also learnt valuable lessons about myself and my own behaviour and realised that some of the things i said or did were having a destructive effect on our relationship - it definitely wasn't all my boyfriend's fault as i had originally thought.

The love letters are an invaluable tool for organising your thoughts rather than just launching into an argument - it pays to take a deep breath and write one using the structured guide. I guarantee you will be surprised at some of the feelings and thoughts that come out.

I have recently passed this book to a friend and it has been so rewarding to see her take control of her relationship using the advice it contains. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a new approach to their relationship.
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56 of 63 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
In my humble opinion, Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide. I had two relationships of 15 years+ and each went down the tubes - and to be totally honest - I didn't know why! Having read this book:
- I now know why both ended
- how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving
- If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other
- But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Man and Woman should read this book. 21 Oct 2001
By A Customer
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Divorce Pending, Not Now! 24 July 2000
By A Customer
This is the book that helped me understand the female sychie, and helped me understand the often irrational approach my wife took when dealing with day to day life in our marriage. I recomend this book to any man who is sick of banging his head against a brick wall, and just needs to understand this beautiful but often complex species.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be compulsory reading for Every man & women!
Borrowed from library then decided to buy a copy! This book could save/help Every relationship!
Published 2 days ago by D. Hammersley
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be part of the national curriculum.
Bought this for a friend,certainly put her relationship back on track.Some bits are repetitive but stick with it and you'll be glad you did.
Published 5 days ago by Dorphyb
5.0 out of 5 stars You think you know what women think?
I thought I know something about women & then I read this book. Having read the book I now know that didn't know anything about what women really think. Read more
Published 5 days ago by Mumbymick
5.0 out of 5 stars I think every man and woman should read this before entering into any...
Excellent book. As much as I wish men could get us and vice versa, this makes sense and is probably the best relationship tool out there. Invaluable.
Published 7 days ago by Arina
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Compulsory for all Martians and Venutians :)
Published 9 days ago by Magdalena Glinicka
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Everyone should have this book
Published 17 days ago by Nicola C.
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Just as advertised, quick delivery
Published 18 days ago by Lesley C. Ramsay
5.0 out of 5 stars Really good read
Gives you a great view on relationships and really helps you understand the feelings of others. I would highly recommend reading this book :-)
Published 23 days ago by Haf
5.0 out of 5 stars Full of juicy nuggets
I read this book at 20 and it taught me so much. I'm now 24 and what I learnt from reading it helps me avoid so many unnecessary arguments with my boyfriend.
Published 25 days ago by Jessica Godman
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all men and women
A really great book that I would recommend that all men and women read - makes so much sense.
Published 25 days ago by rosiered8
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Popular Highlights

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We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways—the ways we react and behave when we love someone. &quote;
Highlighted by 6 Kindle users
When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach. &quote;
Highlighted by 6 Kindle users
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed…. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. &quote;
Highlighted by 5 Kindle users

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