Mars And Venus Starting Over
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Amazon.co.uk Review
A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.
Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.
As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).
If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon.
Book Description
A guide to recreating a loving relationship, showing newly single people how to move past the pain of being alone and start dating again.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If you have suffered the end of a relationship by a break-up or bereavement and are finding it difficult to heal and move on with your life, this book is essential reading. Grieving the loss of love, letting go of hurt, saying goodbye with love, getting unstuck, man on the rebound, a woman's fear of intimacy and learning to be happy alone are just some of the chapters in this book and there is also an exercise to help you feel better and loads of information about the different challenges faced by men and women when they are starting over and looking for love again. John Gray writes in such an understanding way you feel as though he knows exactly how you are feeling. When you are ready, I would recommend Mars and Venus on a Date as it gives invaluable advice on dating and how to build a solid base for a healthy relationship by taking things slowly.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Best thing about this book is the way that it makes you feel like you are not alone in your feelings. It explains why you feel the emotions that you do after losing someone that you really care about.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book helped me understand what males go through during a breakup and that understanding and insight helped me understand my pain. It is easy to understand and everything I was going through I read in each paragraph. Dr. Gray's years of counseling are apparent and the book assisted me in finding some semblance of organization when I felt I was in the middle of a hurricane. Thank you for helping me stay out of the cess pool of self-pity!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
great book
this book is great. it arrrived really fast and is in great nick for second hand. i have read other john gray books and it certainly lives up to those.
Published 3 months ago by Cathie
Starting Over
This book is helping me cope with my divorce (never expected this to happen to me). It's good to see that the feelings I am having are normal and i am not alone. Read more
Published 24 months ago by M. Lawrance
Amazing Book!..
This book is really amazing, and very helpful for some one like me... I really love this book, its wonderful and fantastic...
Published on 30 April 2005 by fhei
This book is simply the best book for surviving divorce!
John Gray's approach to this subject is quite stunning. He is very sincere and discloses alot about his own personal life and ,therefore,not only writes as a professional,but also... Read more
Published on 27 Feb 2002
Very use ful and helpful
I have not read his other books but this came in very useful at a difficult time in my life. I think it is the simplicity of the style and the way in which he confronts problems... Read more
Published on 10 Jan 2002 by pethennno@hotmail.com
More sexist blather
Another condescending book from John Gray, who seems sometimes to be stuck in the 1950's. With most women working outside of the home these days, he fails to address how a woman's... Read more
Published on 22 Aug 1999
Highly recommended for couples who have recently broken up
Thanks to Dr Gray for writing such a supportive and practical book for people, like myself, who have recently broken up. Read more
Published on 24 Feb 1999
A silent best friend in hard times!
The book is wonderfully helpful in reaffirming the absolute normality of anger, depression, fear, and sorrow of a painful divorce, breakup, or loss. Read more
Published on 4 Jan 1999
A very comforting book for going through difficult times.
Whether you are dealing with death, divorce or any kind of hurtful break-up, this book is for you. It has recently helped me to get back my life after a very painful breakup. Read more
Published on 17 Sep 1998
Men Hurt Too
The Mars/Venus guru reveals that it is normal for a male to express/show emotions or even "keep them inside. Read more
Published on 4 Aug 1998
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