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56 of 56 people found the following review helpful
on 3 April 2001
This book is a real comfort to me. When I first read John Gray's first book a few years ago, I felt that he was asking women to accept unacceptable behaviour from men. Some years later, having read this book, which is tailored more to single people, I now accept that men truly are wired differently from women, and we often get hurt by things that they do because we take their actions personally, when all they're doing is following their own nature. Whilst girls might be advised to "treat 'm mean and keep 'm keen", at the end of the day, the game plan is to make a relationship, not win a battle; being "mean" hurts us too. John Gray preaches the wisdom of giving things time, of letting the man take the lead, of going with the flow. It deals with the difficult moments that leave women distracted and unhappy, such as what to do when he's not so certain he wants to see you, when he doesn't call etc. Somehow he makes it all seem as though it isn't a major tragedy;dating mishaps begin to seem as if they are less evidence of failure and more the result of a practical mismatch. If you accept John Gray's advice, in my experience everyone's happier. The only thing I would say is that I think there are some cultural differences between UK and US dating habits which make some of the advice hard to apply. Although John Gray advocates dating around until a man asks you to stop, I think most British men would assume that once you've got past the intial few dates that you won't be seeing anyone else, and most British women wouldn't want to do it. (Maybe I'm just old fashioned!).
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
on 8 June 1999
Reading this book has given me such power! Now that I understand the way that men's minds work, I can avoid falling into the traps that have plagued my relationships over the last 15 years. It's all such basic and logical stuff, but to read it in black and white is a real revelation. A highly recommended read, with useful stuff for those in relationships, as well as singletons.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 16 January 1999
I read this book in three days, a very quick read. I was able to understand a lot of the information. It gave me insights that I hadn`t had before. Because of all these things I would recommend this book to anyone who would like to gain a better understanding, but just like anything, evaluate your circumstances.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on 22 February 1999
Gray's book is quite helpful for all of the woman who were raised in the past twenty years. While asking guys out on the first date is liberating, eventually many of those relationship falter. The plain truth is that if you are looking for a romantic relationship, then, as a woman, you need to let the guy take the lead in the first stages of dating or else you won't be happy. Gray has helped me realize this fact in his funny, straight forward work.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 10 February 1999
in fact, not a good guide at all. while gray does show some insight into the different ways men and women think (and if you want that, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is much better), this book really lacks a lot. the five stages of dating he gives tend to be very misleading; even he writes that it is sometimes hard to know which stage you are in. he ascribes no importance to the physical relationship - first date or marriage? well, no difference - and focuses on being positive and how to get a good partner for life. the theme of the book seems to be, 'when you meet that right person, you'll just know.' the book treats the subject of marriage too lightly, and is too 'sappy' (almost the right word) to be of any use in real life. a much better book on finding the right person to marry is "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," by Joshua Harris. it is true to life, and is a much better guide. if you are looking for someone to marry, i would seriously go and find this book. it shows that there IS a better way than dating to find your future spouse.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 28 July 1998
Gotta be honest here guys, this book didn't do much for me. I bought the book with the expectation that it would help me in my quest to FIND that special lady I'm missing. Instead, he primarily focused on what to do and how to act AFTER you've found someone to date. Though his words were helpful, I can't use them at this stage of the game. Maybe if he would have stressed what women are attracted to a little more instead of how women should act around men it would be different. That's great that "Men like a woman with a smile." Well, what do women like? He spent very little time on that subject. I was hoping to see more writen about initial attraction, and HOW to approach women...not WHERE to find them. "It just happens" doesn't sit well with me.
On the back of his book there is a statement that reads "You don't have to be single forever..." Well, this book doesn't really support that statement. Very good book, but I think I'll w! ait 'till I find someone before I look at it again.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 4 August 1999
When I read this book, it really helped me to understand what I am currently going through. I particularly liked the 5 stages of dating and realise that it is perfectly normal to feel uncertain at times. Although I thought the Rules was a good book, I found this one far better as it explains everything in far more depth.
Although I think the Rules are right and very sharp and strict, none of us can live by them perfectly and John Gray points out so well the problems couples can face in normal relationships. The rules guarantees a 100% perfect marriage, but Mars and Venus on a Date clearly shows in detail why a 100% perfect relationship just is not possible for anyone. After all we are all flawed human beings and there is someone out there for all of us who is perfect for us, although not perfect altogether.
This book just shows the true reality of how male/female relationships operate from meeting until marriage.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 3 March 1999
As I read this book, it became absolutely clear to me why I have handfuls of wonderful male friends in my life, and yet no romantic relationship. This book does not use manipulative techniques and it is not unrealistic. Instead, it does a great job of clearing up the mess that many women have created in their dating lives by getting used to being "one of the guys." Although I have only been able to apply my new-found knowledge to one date--I can already tell that it is working. I have reccommended this book to every one of my friends who know they are a good catch, but aren't finding themselves in dating situations.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 27 August 2009
Insightful book into how relationships can work but how, more frequently they do not work.
I liked the book, and it has given me a lot of food for thought; how people go about dealing with situations in relationships and the misunderstandings that often take place. The only criticisms I could make is that at points the writer contradicts himself over the best course of action to take, but on the whole I think it is a much better read than "Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 11 July 1999
As someone who wanted to learn more about dating, and especially serious dating eventually leading to marriage, I have found this book invaluable and very helpful, and I recommend it to anyone who is looking or dating and wanting it to work out. He goes through the 5 stages of dating really well and it has given me a lot of understanding of the subject and I hope that anyone who reads it will greatly benefit from it and find their soul mate soon.
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