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Manchester United Ruined My Wife [Paperback]

David Blatt
2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

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Book Description

1 May 2004
MANCHESTER UNITED RUINED MY WIFE is the hilarious tale of a 50-something male life-long supporter of Manchester United and the way his obsession has affected his relationship with his wife and daughters, one of whom grew up to become an international pop star.
Wry, well-written and very funny it starts with the author, David Blatt, as a seven-year old watching the Busby Babes, glides effortlessly through the 1960s to the 1968 European Cup Final, follows the Reds through the dark years of the 1970s and 80s (when the author marries and has children) and comes to a climax with the 1999 European Cup Final before reflecting on the future for both United and his relationship with his wife.
As a member of the London & District Supporters Club, Blatt muses comically on the countless miles he has had to travel to games, the pursuit of tickets and the lot of football supporters in an era of hooliganism and corporate takeovers, whilst all the while trying to keep a semblance of family life together.
Since 1986 David has been an active member of the FSF - Football Supporters Federation, which gave him the legitimate right to talk football day and night, much to the annoyance of his mates, business colleagues and long-suffering wife. He has appeared many times on TV and radio, putting forward views on behalf of all supporters. For the last few years he has been a regular contributor to ‘Red News’, the original Manchester United fanzine. He is also an active member of both IMUSA and Shareholders United.
Hélène, a delightful Frenchwoman, has been married to David for more than 25 years and now detests football with the same intensity as David adores it. Hence the title of this book. David, a late developer, still doesn't understand women.


Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Parrs Wood Press (1 May 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1903158524
  • ISBN-13: 978-1903158524
  • Product Dimensions: 19.2 x 12.6 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,355,500 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

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Review

"I’ve just read it. I’ll kill him when he gets home." -- Author's wife

From the Author

I’ve known Hélène ever since the first time I met her. She was French at the time and remains so even to this day, which explains quite a lot.
When we first started going out she thought my obsession with Manchester United was "quaint", "cute", a little strange, but then I am English. You see, the French consider football as just another leisure activity. OK, OK, stop laughing. Yeah, I know, that’s what I call really strange. As the days, weeks, months and years went by she began to realise that my passion for "Le Foot" wouldn’t diminish as my passion for her grew. An equation that she hadn’t learnt at school presented itself: namely, that a man could love both a woman and his football team. Not a concept they are familiar with across "La Manche".
She could have gone either way. I had visions of us criss-crossing this sceptred isle of ours, sharing United’s triumphs and disasters together as the years rolled by. Then what could be more romantic than whisking her away for a surprise mid-week break in Europe. From stylish hotspots such as Turin, Milan, Madrid, Barcelona, Munich and Athens to cosy hideaways such as Florence, Monaco, Montpellier, Gothenberg, Lodz and Wrexham.
She went the wrong way. She took the path of the devil, but he wasn’t Red. She went over to the ‘other side’. She now detests football with the same intensity I love it. I walk the eternal diplomatic tightrope. When I fall, if the various crews don’t get me, my wife will.
But the truth has to be told. Manchester United have taken me to higher highs and lower lows than anything else on this planet, including sex. This may, of course, tell you more about me than the relative merits, or otherwise, of football or sex.
In an ideal world, of course, I’d like to OD on both, but lack of funds and looks put paid to those fantasies.
Now be honest. There must be thousands of people who feel the same way about their football team, whether they’ve been blessedby supporting Eric’s Disciples on Earth or one of the myriad of pale imitations that proliferate this unique planet of ours. It’s illogical I know, but either way you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
My wife claims I’m not "normal". I’m sad, warped, shallow and should "get a life". Perhaps she’s right, but if what I’ve experienced over these last forty years is anything to go by, I never want to be cured.
I belong to the biggest and best family on Earth, The Red Army. ("Red Army! Red Army! Red Army!") See, there I go again. Can’t stop. From the moment I discovered the Manchester United (London & District) Supporters Club at the spotty age of fourteen I was hooked. How could copping a feel with girls compete with getting up at 5am on a Saturday morning to travel by coach along the M1/A5/M6 and back, or the world’s largest and longest registered orgasm recorded on May 26th 1999 and still going?
What follows is not a complete and exhaustive account of my years following United at home, away and in Europe (you’ve had enough sleep already), but a rambling prose which I hope captures the highs and lows that every fan of every club goes through, with the exception of May 26th 1999. Millions of you watched on TV, but as Peter Sellers once remarked, "Being There" was the only place to be. And 65,000 United fans will have experienced the most intense orgasm unknown to man.
So lie back, kick out your jams brothers and sisters and let the fun begin…

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Begrudging praise 20 May 2004
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
As a Leeds fan I shouldn't have even been reading this book but somehow it happened. It's good. Any fan who has read the excellent Paint It White (or even One Northern Sole) will see some familiarities between these books and that is no detriment to any of them. David Blatt has written an at times very funny and often nostalgic book and it is worth a read, even if you hate Man U! If you love Man u you will love this book, and rightly so. It's written by a proper fan, simple as that. There is a slight problem which the author does address in the book - he's a born red. Yes, he's a Londoner. But do not let that put you off, this is funny and well written and he is a very loyal fanatic. Mr Blatt comes across as a very decent bloke too. Oh by the way, I washed my hands after holding the book. Sorry, it is very good but it needs writing of biblical proportions to extinguish the rivalry!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Middle of the Road 14 Jan 2010
Format:Paperback
Enjoyable and I could relate to the book being a regular match going Red and also having been to many of the games described. That said some of the anecdotes and jokes are repeated a couple of times through the book.

As a United "anorak" I would also say that the book has not been fantastically proof red as some of the details are not 100% (Villa played Oldham on a Sunday in 1993, United drew 1-1 at home to Montpellier in 1991 etc) plus there are quite a lot of typos.

Probably more a book you'd read on the beach/holiday than one to gain greater insight into the cult of United but in echoing previous comments, if you're a big United fan you'll relate to it, a football fan you'll understand it and if not then you'll be left scratching your head and questioning his raison d'etre
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2.0 out of 5 stars Save your money... 13 May 2009
By Mark Too VINE™ VOICE
Format:Paperback
I so wanted this to be good, I really did. I'm a United fan and although I'm a little younger than the author, and can't compete with his levels of dedication and commitment to the cause, about 40 years-worth of our memories overlap. So one star for being a Red and one for effort, but that's being generous... This is a waste of money. Great football memories that go down well in the pub over a pint don't automatically make a good book when you write them down, and this book contains 300+ pages of them. You absolutely HAD to be there; no doubt the author is a lovely bloke, but this is not entertaining writing. What is hilarious is the grammar and the spelling. Commas and quotation marks are dripped across the pages more or less at random, and the spelling is in a class of its own. "sea-saw"? "...a Basset Hound on prosaic"? "...pilloeted on a sixpence..."? I've never read a book with as many of those as this has. Sorry, this is rubbish.
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