At the point i ordered this book, i was desparate to find understanding in my relationship. My husband was sexually molested repeatedly as a child. This book was absolutely astounding to me. It helped me to understand why he was lashing out at me, why he was angry with his surroundings. He has begun to deal with the abuse, and the dissociative personality disorder that is reference in the book...he has shown signs of this. You may not even know that your partner is doing this behavior though,until you better understand what the book says. As his partner, i was not sure what to do....should i leave him, should i stay in this craziness...and when you are a partner---it feels crazy and your husband begins to work through all these feelings. The book continues to show me that i am not alone, and that my marriage fits the text book, as far as marriages with a person that has been abused. it focuses on all abuses, but highlights sexual abuse victims. If you are feeling alone, and abandoned, and not sure if you have a marriage or not, then you need this book. I cannot tell you how much it has helped me....God---thanks! I have highlighted and marked pages and underlined...my book is a mess with all my notes...but it has become my solace. When i feel confused with the things that my husband is feeling or saying, then i run to the book and reread things that coincide with that days emotions. i didn't read it straight through...i skipped all over the book, but i have read it all. i keep rereading it. We have been married for many years and have several children. He just says he is not happy, doesn't want to be married any more, exhibits anger toward me, seems to not be able to see my hurting, complains that i controlled him all these years, (which is totally explained in the book)...i know that he needs to confront his past, but i know i need to change too. i want to go to counseling, but he has refused, but now he thinks he might do it....he goes back and forth on this topic, and i know he is just so deeply confused. It discussed the need for medication...but my husband has resisted it totally, and i pray to GOD that one day i can help him. i really don't know where my life will take me, but without this book, i could not have moved through the stages of being a partner of someone who has been abused. At first i was clinging to him, begging him, but his book helped me to see that i must stop clinging to him...because it forces him to see that running away is the only choice he has. it gave me communciation tools to use when i talk to him. It told me how to set boundaries on his anger towards me...it gave me instructions about how to find support in others, since he cannot support me during this time in his healing. May God bless you if you are reading this, because He is the only way you will make it through this trial. When i read this book, i crawl into God's lap, and let him hold me through this pain. May you let God do the same as you read this book.
Blessings and peace.