This enjoyably over-the-top action romp from cult ace director Robert Rodriguez storms its way rather like a really great lad's night out.
What's there not to enjoy? Robert De Niro playing the sort of character he plays best and should try and play far more of, instead of those weak comedies he seems to get talked into doing plus an often nude Lindsey Lohan. Steven Seagal puts on a silly accent and looks a bit a ridiculous; puffed-up, overweight.
Gun-toting bloody violence, including 'nun' Lohan slo-mo spraying bullets interjects a rather ridiculous plot that is best ignored. You don't need to think during this movie - why spoil it with having a story to get in the way? The sunburnt ochre colours of the Mexican border is the focus of this bandit/road movie/sleaze'n'greed extravaganza.
Grizzled Mexican ex-cop Danny Trejo IS Machete, as is his deadly choice of weapon. And, you won't quite believe where a lovely naked lady removes her mobile phone from, to notify that Machete has arrived...De Niro is a dodgy senator who now mercenary Machete is paid to eliminate.
Jessica Alba is top-billed but she's rather weak, or at least her character is, at least in comparison to some of the other, more interesting ones, here. However, my money is on the deliciously lithe, brunette, moody Michelle Rodriguez, who, towards the end, adorns little more than rubber bikini and the biggest mother-of-a-gun you've ever seen. She's also one of the few here who actually acts, too. As Luz, she organises employment across the border for the locals, with a road-side cafe as a front. Alba is a CIA agent who spies on Luz. She's not related to the director, if that's what you're thinking.
Yes, this is testosterone-injected brainless mayhem and isn't the most PC movie ever made, probably one of the least subtle in its violence but just ploughs on at the speed of a bullet-train so entertainingly, that it's a must for when us adult males need to relax and switch off.
Good film? Not if you're a film critic, but as a punter, bloody ace....