Machete [Blu-ray] [2011] [Region Free]

This is a great action flick from the master of the modern shoot-`em-up, Robert Rodriguez. Starring Danny Trejo as Machete, the greatest of Mexican Federales who loses everything to gangster Steven Segal. Becoming a drifter, he gets tangled up in a byzantine plot surrounding the transportation of immigrants across the Mexican/American border.

Framed for an attempt on a Senator's life, and on the run from seemingly everybody, an entertaining tale of bloody mayhem and revolution is woven as Machete seeks to right wrongs and clear his name.

Trejo is perfect as the hard as nails Machete, with monosyllabic dialogue and mean, moody glares. It's a magnetic performance. Jeff Fahey has fun as the somewhat seedy Machiavellian villain, Segal carries off his eviler-than-though character with aplomb and De Niro puts in a surprisingly good performance as the corrupt Senator. There is an interesting cameo from Don Johnson as the head of the local militia. Cheech Marin makes a welcome appearance as Machete's priestly brother, in scenes reminiscent of the scenes between Tuco and his brother Ramirez in the good, the bad and the ugly. Also worthy of note are Jessica Alba as the world's sexiest immigration official, and Lindsey Lohan as Fahey's dissolute daughter. Both manage great performances of quite some depth whilst simultaneously lighting up the screen as some much needed eye candy.

With Rodriguez's trademark gory violence and insane weaponry, this is not a film for the fainthearted. It is however a film that delivers plot, action, beautiful women, action, gore, action, one liners, action, social comment and a little bit of action. It's great stuff, I loved it.

This enjoyably over-the-top action romp from cult ace director Robert Rodriguez storms its way rather like a really great lad's night out.

What's there not to enjoy? Robert De Niro playing the sort of character he plays best and should try and play far more of, instead of those weak comedies he seems to get talked into doing plus an often nude Lindsey Lohan. Steven Seagal puts on a silly accent and looks a bit a ridiculous; puffed-up, overweight.

Gun-toting bloody violence, including 'nun' Lohan slo-mo spraying bullets interjects a rather ridiculous plot that is best ignored. You don't need to think during this movie - why spoil it with having a story to get in the way? The sunburnt ochre colours of the Mexican border is the focus of this bandit/road movie/sleaze'n'greed extravaganza.

Grizzled Mexican ex-cop Danny Trejo IS Machete, as is his deadly choice of weapon. And, you won't quite believe where a lovely naked lady removes her mobile phone from, to notify that Machete has arrived...De Niro is a dodgy senator who now mercenary Machete is paid to eliminate.

Jessica Alba is top-billed but she's rather weak, or at least her character is, at least in comparison to some of the other, more interesting ones, here. However, my money is on the deliciously lithe, brunette, moody Michelle Rodriguez, who, towards the end, adorns little more than rubber bikini and the biggest mother-of-a-gun you've ever seen. She's also one of the few here who actually acts, too. As Luz, she organises employment across the border for the locals, with a road-side cafe as a front. Alba is a CIA agent who spies on Luz. She's not related to the director, if that's what you're thinking.

Yes, this is testosterone-injected brainless mayhem and isn't the most PC movie ever made, probably one of the least subtle in its violence but just ploughs on at the speed of a bullet-train so entertainingly, that it's a must for when us adult males need to relax and switch off.

Good film? Not if you're a film critic, but as a punter, bloody ace....

The Machete trailer was probably better than either both the entire full movies of "Death proof" and "Planet Terror" when it featured at the start of the Grindhouse double bill, fans were salivating at the prospect of seeing Danny Trejo go ape with a machine gun toting bike and Machete knife! in a down and dirty sleezefest...unfortunately what we got was 90 mins of high camp,cartoon strip histrionics with a terrible story! Robert Rodriguez is a superb director but this movie is just one big mess from start to finish, in fact it's the polar opposite of what a grindhouse film actually is! Too polished,too cartoony is what this film is and i can honestly say i've never felt more let down by a movie since i paid money to see "The Phantom Menace" all those yrs ago at my local multiplex.

Everyone in this movie ( apart from Trejo) is clearly disinterested in the material, Robert DeNiro is completely out of his depth in this type of movie and coasts along in an uninspired performance and even less memorable a role than many of the dire parts he's done lately. Seagal is as wooden as ever and is useless as the villain of the piece and only the ever reliable Jeff Fahey (Lost) comes out with any credit.

If anyone has seen the trailer for Trejo's new movie "Bad Ass" then i advise you to do so as that film looks to be what this film never was.