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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life Paperback – 27 Jun 2002

106 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Rider; First Paperback Edition edition (27 Jun. 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0712629300
  • ISBN-13: 978-0712629300
  • Product Dimensions: 15.3 x 2 x 23.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (106 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 4,615 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Review

"...a revolutionary way to live your life. The question is: are we brave enough to accept it?" (Erica Jong)

"...a pragmatic and simple way of getting people to take responsibility for their own problems." (Time Magazine)

Book Description

A major work by spiritual teacher Byron Katie: a simple, straightforward system for achieving inner peace

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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Lazy Reader on 21 Nov. 2006
Format: Paperback
I had this book recommended to me and after reading the raving positive reviews thought that I'd give it a try. Wow.. this is such a good book that I cannot recommend it highly enough. I have been in therapy for over three years, after an abusive childhood and violent husband, and I can honestly say that this book was equally (if not more) powerful in changing the way I think just a third of the way into it. I have read many self-help books and this is genuinely the one that actually changes the way that you think and see things that have happened to you in the past and helps you feel calm about whatever happens to you in the fuure. It helped a good female friend of mine too but one word of caution.. I gave it to two male friends and they couln't get on with it. Maybe because it is dialogue based? it may be more suited to women. Katie takes Buddhist philosopies and makes them so easy to understand. An excellent book that if it works for you will completely change you for ever.
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44 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Janie on 5 April 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was a bit puzzled by this book at first - I thought the four questions were too simple. But by the time I reached the end of the book I had got it - a profound change occurs almost without you realising. Byron Katie's work is really a radical form of cognitvie therapy which makes you aware that almost all of our 'problems' and the negativity we feel is caused by our thoughts. It's interesting to read it together with Steve Taylor's book Out of the Darkness, which contains a section a section on Byron Katie and an interview with Eckhart Tolle. It explains the basis of spiritual awakening and is a massively inspiring book, full of amazing stories. Out of the Darkness: From Turmoil to Transformation
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76 of 80 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 27 May 2005
Format: Paperback
For anyone interested in their psychological or spiritual or emotional well-being there simply is not a book on Amazon more worthy of your attention! The reason is that it is not necessary to accept or follow any particular spiritual beliefs in order to do The Work. Katie asks nothing of us but to investigate those judgements or events in our life that cause us pain and suffering in a compassionate and caring manner using a four-step system that is brilliant in its simplicity. And what's more, it works! Katie cannot be underestimated as a pioneering force in spiritual and psychoanalytical development and I urge anyone who hasn't already done so to treat themselves to a real gem!
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful By loveboooks on 30 Oct. 2005
Format: Paperback
PLEASE read this book. It is a revelation! I read this book then went on one of Byron Katie's Schools for The Work (read the book to see what this is) and I absolutely have never, ever experienced happiness, true bliss and joy like it! Katie is the truest embodiment of love I have ever met and if you read the book, and do the work, you will be ASTONISHED by how much peace and JOY will come into your heart and your life!
For me the Audio CDs were even better, hearing Katie doing The Work in person has to be heard - it truly is a miracle!!!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By ElspethR on 29 Oct. 2014
Format: Paperback
I've now read this twice, all the way through. I'm respectful of any personal developmental tool and I was hoping I could use this in some way, perhaps customising it.

Interestingly, all the positive reviews on here are short while many critical ones give more considered thoughts.

I note Katie often works with an audience, as if their reaction - such as their laughs at her tough love spiels - are part of bolstering her reputation and truth and in helping the client come round to her view.

Katie says there's no truth but our own - wrong: this is about Katie's truth. The answer to her first two questions is always no, which I quibble straight away. The turning around is pointless, because it's just word play and often gives permission for negative things. To take an early example from the book: 'Paul my spouse shouldn't love or respect me'. Maybe it's the 'should' that needs to go in that sentence, as I wouldn't stay with a spouse who didn't love and respect me, and wasn't willing to work at it. Same went for the woman hurt at the rejection of her son. Hurt is real and valid; so is unhappiness at poor treatment which needs to be amended - but not in Katie's world, who makes it about you. I was gulping at the abuse and trauma section.

Katie means, take this on your own shoulders, don't expect anyone else to do anything to put this right, and effectively, that you kind of blame yourself.

Katie's constant use of terms like 'angel' 'sweetheart' is not acceptable - it's patronising and that means Katie puts herself ahead of her clients. It has over familiar, belittling and even slightly sexual overtones. It's not thinking of their comfort zones and boundaries - neither is the regular physical contract.
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51 of 55 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 9 Jan. 2006
Format: Paperback
I was extremely sceptical when I first came across this book having read numerous others of this genre but I can honestly say this book blew me away....its effects were dramatic and I just felt as if huge shift had occurred in my general outlook which I now recognize is irreversible. I was about half way through the book when I realised I had just "got it", (something akin to the proverbial penny dropping)and now I can't imagine how I could have lived in such darkness before this light was switched on - it's effects really are as dramatic as that! I now KNOW that I consciously choose to be happy or otherwose and that that is all entirely within my power and I find it incredible that I just didn't see this truth before - this truth which is so blindingly obvious - and which once seen cannot be unseen any more than I could "unlearn" how to swim or ride a bike! My family and friends have all noticed a huge change in me - I have become easy-going, calm and at peace...previously I was often moody, snappy with everyone (including my husband and 3 young children), driven and resentful - basically in conflict with reality. I have just ordered another 3 of these books for friends who are all curious about my "secret". Katie can save us from ourselves, waking us up to the fact that we can be our own worst enemies. I owe her a huge debt of gratitude!
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