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Loving Sander [Paperback]

Joseph Geraci
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Gay Men's Press (2 Jan 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0854492313
  • ISBN-13: 978-0854492312
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12.8 x 1.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,724,654 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Hold on to your hat! 23 Feb 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
A tough but sincere and emotional book focussing on a mid-thirties American man's sexual love for a young Dutch boy. Published by GMP, is this about two gay people - you decide.

I have never previously read a book on this subject from the 'abusers' perspective so that makes it tough going but the 'under the skin' feeling is excellent.

Read it if you dare.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 2.7 out of 5 stars  11 reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars ...[some people] will hate this book 24 Jun 2001
By Jonathan Lapin - Published on
how fascinating to read the different reviews of this book!
it seems that the "child advocates" who are out to "protect" kids are all giving this one star. well, its sad and silly but that is what they are.
this is a story about a man who loves a young boy and is able to show it in all possible ways. i am not saying that every man-boy relationship should be sexual, and im not saying that there are not plenty of adults who are out to sexually exploit a young boy. but this story is certainly NOT a portrait of that. why cant these people acknowledge that its as possible for a boy and a man to be attracted to each other as it is for two adults (and i think its safe to say the critics would only deem male-female permissible) to care?
as to the book itself, it tends to be a bit stilted at times; i would have given it only three stars, but i am giving geraci an extra star for his bravery in putting this caring -- and necessary -- work on paper.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars tender and honest story of genuine bond of Love 6 Nov 1999
By A Customer - Published on
In all the years of my reading, and viewing the realities of this ttroubled world, I have rarely found honest portrayals of Love. "LOVING SANDER" accomplished this task, with honsty and a subtle focus on the truer issues--that are NOT about pedophilia. The story takes into the heart of the matter, if only we were able to 'hear' the boy's heart, we'd be richer for the experience. Still, one can see and feel the intensiity of what this Love they share causes each one to have to choose. It also provided us with a Western bias of what love between a boy and man costs--paranoia and fear. I DO NOT advocate such a relationship, only that this book allowed me to feel and hear and understand the deeper matters involved,just that if it grows, it knows, and this book truely shows...
30 of 48 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Ambiguous, subtle and restrained 23 Jun 1998
By A Customer - Published on
Joseph Geraci's novel is subtle and restrained as he develops the story of an American in Holland falling in love with an 11-year-old Sander. Geraci delicately describes the ambiguous nature of this relationship. First he is subtle in the two scenes involving sex. The reader is aware of what is happening, but intimate details are left out. The scenes are charged with erotocism yet underplayed as well. Secondly, Geraci uses the relationship of Will's friend Toon with the by Ashok as a kind of foil. Toon takes pictures of this boy and has sex with him and ends up in court. Toon's attitude is feisty, which does not help his court case. Many in the boy-love movement, however, would resonate with him.
This trial causes Will to consider his relationship with Sander. He has to make a choice bwteen going back to tenure at his uiniveristy job in San Franscisco or staying in Amsterdam and running a photo gallery foir Niek, Sander's father.
It sems that Sander's parents, Niek and Marijke, are aware of the relationship Sander has with Will. They, too, are ambiguous. Both need Sander and Will in their lives.
The setting of this novel in Holland makes these complications possib le because in many other places, Will would be prosecuted or scared off. Thus, Geraci uses his setting to put forth the variouos complexities and ambiguity of intergenerational relationships.
The very nature of these relationships is temporal. Boys grow up and out of their need for a man. Will has to make decisions that will affect his entire future. Should he risk that for a few years of off and on affection with a boy who will soon be twelve and then older?
Intergenerational issues have not been outwardly discussed in the U.S. either in research or in art. Some would consider even this restrained novel pornographic because of the sexual contact between Will and Sander. Somehow many in this country do not believe young people have a sexuality or if they do, that sexuality needs to be suppressed.
Fict! ion like Gerci's "Loving Sander" can help open doors. Even though Geraci is sympathetic to his boy-lover protagonist, he portrays this relationship as risky in many ways. Perhaps through art intergenerational relationships can be discussed and somehow objective research projects can be developed that might shed some light on them.
25 of 41 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A story of love between man and boy. 13 Mar 1997
By A Customer - Published on
"An American photography scholar working in Holland has befriended the ten-year-old son of colleagues there. Over the next two years, Will is increasingly caught up in tensions between Sander's mother Marijke and her estranged husband Niek over his growing intimacy with Sander..."

In this truly insightful book, Joseph Geraci tells the tale of the difficulties inherent in the relationship of a man loving a young boy in today's society. How even the simple act of giving a boy a present is fraught with suspicion of ulterior motives, and how the world in general seems intent on destroying loving, consensual friendships between men and boys.

Going one step further, Mr. Geraci also delves into the growing influence of American child-abuse hysteria on the culture of the once-tolerant Netherlands. Despite this interference he shows that the justice system there still has some sensibility, and actually takes into account what the child has to say about such friendships.

Throughout it all, of course, is Sander. A bright, energetic and attractive young boy, he gradually becomes the center of the narrator's universe. How the two them deal with their love for each other is told with refreshingly candid insight.

This book is deserving of a wide audience. Not only would men who love boys enjoy it, but I would also recommend it to anyone involved on a professional level with children, and those who are interested in learning the truth about love between men and boys
27 of 49 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Love Story? No. Tragedy? Yes . . . 29 Nov 1999
By A Customer - Published on
Befriending a boy who needs emotional support is a good thing, and that was this book's "foot in the door". But ruining it with perverted sex, (homosexual child molestation), turned this book into just another sales brochure for the man-boy political branch of the homosexual agenda. The character "Will" exhibits typical pedophile behavior with the standard deceptions until he gets what he wants. In fact, the choice of Will's name was telling, since he was willful and forced his will upon a confused boy. Books that show how to take sexual advantage of immature children to the point of molesting them. This book wasn't about love, but about sex, and it isn't tender once you see what the adult planned to do with the boy's life. Just as Will was deceptive, I'll never again trust the person who recommended this book to me. Regardless of what the book says, men can still be true friends to boys and not ruin lives like Will did in this tragedy. If this book is dropped, I'll have a renewed hope in mankind.
The "one star" rating was the lowest allowed. But stars give light. This was more like a "black hole".
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