Boy meets girl. Boy almost loses girl because of his fascination with online porn, which disgusts her. She's especially troubled by research revealing that up to 85% of the women in porn have suffered sexual abuse in childhood, and it doesn't help that when her partner indulges he deprives her not only of his company and potential sex, but also of the truth. Boy and girl decide to make a sincere effort to heal this rift using Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication technique, also known as Compassionate Communication.
For Victoria and Garry Prater this led to three years of struggle and this book. Though the words "love" and "pornography" appear in its title, the book's prose is closer to PG and this is more of a relationship-repair close-up, a co-journaling of each partner's feelings and self-analysis rendered into the language of "core values" and "basic needs." Garry discovers within porn a playful creativity and freedom he likes and wants. Victoria realizes that some of the panic she feels when her feelings are ignored is a replay of her childhood experience of "not mattering" to her mentally ill mother.
What I found fascinating was the way each partner had the potential to be each other's missing piece. Each had the power to pour light and comfort into the other's loneliness. Yin and yang.... together they could become whole. I admire the authors' integrity in telling the difficult truth about the end result of their efforts.-- Sari Friedman for the FEARLESS REVIEWS