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The above verse (Marsden, 1999) expresses the automatic hope or prayer of parents everywhere. Read the first page
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Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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We learn about the author's loss of her own 19-year-old daughter to suicide in 1998, in addition to the experiences of other families, all of whom have lost children of different ages in different ways.
In addition to being able to connect to the raw pain of surviving families, the book offers practical and comforting strategies to help parents move positively through their grief, whilst importantly acknowledging that there is no "getting over it" in any way, shape or form. You will not find some unrealistic 12-stage grief plan or patronising advice, because the author's own experience lends itself to a candidness and recognition that grief has no schedule and that total healing is a fallacy. It helps parents to understand why the grief doesn't diminish, but how they can learn to build a new life around that dark, sinister hole. It shows that whilst our lives without our children expand around the core of grief, it remains the same size and that the smallest trigger can hurl us back into that hole without warning.
Through each chapter, you will find yourself breathing a sigh of relief and saying, "That's it exactly", or "Thank goodness I'm not the only one who feels like this". Unlike so many grief recovery books, this one is neither remote nor academic and the author's words truly relate to one's own grief.
Not only will this book be an invaluable source of comfort to bereaved families, but should also be read by anyone who knows someone who has lost a child, grandchild or sibling. The book offers suggestions on what and what not to say, irrespective of how long ago the child died. It is a book that will help the non-bereaved respond more appropriately and less insensitively to a bereaved family's distress.
Losing a Child is a poignant but consoling book that I would highly recommend for all bereaved families, whether their loss is new, or whether they are already several years into the lifelong grieving process.
The author had clearly spent many years around TCF and other bereaved parents, but rather than a thoughtful and considered account of the harrowing experience of child death - it felt like a "stream of consciousness" download of everything she had ever heard or thought about on the topic... a chapter on still-birth, a potted history of TCF, a chapter on acciddents - lots of anedcotes about everyone she ever met who had had a traumatic experience - including several pages on her niece's decision to have an (early) termination because she didn't want a baby at that point.
One for the bucket, I'm afraid!
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