Watching 'Loaded' is a lot like being the only sober person at a stag night where everyone else is completely tanked up. They seem to be having a good time, but you don't...
In fact, most of the movie is an extended stag party, and the story revolves around a preppie young man who goes wildly off the rails after a weekend of sex n drugs. Next thing you know he's an accessory to murder, his family is ripped apart and his girlfriend's life is in danger. If it was 15 minutes shorter and given better direction, this could've been a 4-star film, in fact.
It's certainly not the worst movie I've sat through, and does have a couple of redeeming features -- Vinne Jones gets the best lines even if he is only on screen for less than five minutes. There's plenty of girlish eye-candy, a loud soundtrack, blazing guns, shouting, swearing and snorting, and there is even a solid plotline underpinning the action.
The trouble is that the audience doesn't understand the plot for most of the film, so we spent a lot of time puzzling over why the hero was being so dumb, and why the bad guy would even bother with half of what he was doing. If we'd been given a bit more of the back story then we could've enjoyed the development of the story -- as it was, the film seemed more like a series of disconnected and unlikely events.
Loaded is probably an ideal movie to watch at about 1am, after you've gotten back from the pub and eaten the kebabs. You can enjoy the partying and the punching and not worry too much about the logic. Probably not a movie to sit down and watch on Saturday afternoon when your parents have popped round for tea...
5/10