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Living and Loving with Asperger Syndrome: Family Viewpoints Paperback – 1 Jan 2001

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Product details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (1 Jan 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1843107449
  • ISBN-13: 978-1843107446
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 14 x 21 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,688,893 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


Varying needs and emotions involve compromise in any family, especially where one or more members have Asperger Syndrome (AS). The McCabe family provide a rounded picture of such a household, taking turns to discuss how the father Patrick's AS affects each relationship. Estelle, Patrick's wife, talks about how she has adjusted her speech and social life in order to live peacefully with her husband and avoid his seemingly irrational reactions to her 'normal' behavior. In turn, Patrick discusses how he has learnt to accommodate Estelle's needs and his teenage son's growing independence into his desire for 'people-free time', strict routine and clear communication. Jared discusses how his father's AS characteristics have affected growing up and highlights how issues can be resolved without either losing face with his peers or upsetting his parents. Supplemented with interviews with friends and colleagues, this book is invaluable for anyone closely involved with AS, focusing positively on the relationships that are both the most important and the most difficult to maintain.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By Rod Dalitz on 3 April 2007
Format: Paperback
This is a fine book, which describes the relationships in one family with Asperger syndrome, in detail. It provides much to think about.

The main criticism I have is that it appears to take Patrick as exactly THE archetype for AS. Reading a wide range of books, it is clear to me that AS is not a single pattern but a range of ways in which people develop differently and adapt to the world. This book should be taken as one instance, not a universal description.
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By Ms. Sa Hunt on 2 May 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a fantastic book which gives real insight into Aspergers syndrome and how to understand people with Aspergers. It has really helped me to understand a close friend much more and to be able to support her adequately when necessary. A definite must to anyone who has a friend or family member on the Autisc spectrum.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is helpful, and a very good book for anyone who has a partner with Asperger Syndrome. It is helpful and easy to read. Thank you.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 8 reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Great Information About AS 7 Feb 2003
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
I found this book very interesting and entertaining. The McCabes did a great job telling how, as a family, they learned about Asperger and how they've adapted to living with it.
Stories from their lives made the book easy to read. It was even funny in some places. I think the McCabes did a great job putting their thoughts, observations, and opinions in the book.
It's a must read for anyone who lives with someone with Asperger Syndrome or even knows anyone with it. It helped me understand the syndrome better and what the person with it must be dealing with on a minute by minute basis.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Living and Loving with Asperger Syndrome 16 Feb 2003
By Bryan - Published on
Format: Paperback
If you have a friend or family member with aspergers syndrome you simply must read this book. It does a masterful job of helping us "normal" people not only understand someone with AS but also suggests simple adjusments we can make that mean the world to them. I have a close friend with AS and after reading this book I have learned new ways to truly enjoy a wonderful healthy friendship.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Great read, but generalizations aren't true for all Aspies 27 July 2004
By Ursula Stouffer - Published on
Format: Paperback
I very much enjoyed this book, and found a lot of truth and encouragement in it.
But as a person who has Asperger Syndrome herself, I disagree with some of the generalizations the McCabes use. While it may be true for Patrick that he needs to do several things at once, for instance, it is entirely impossible for me to do more than one thing at a time. Multitasking will often lead to total confusion, and eventually extreme irritability or shutdown in me.
I am also not very organized, I am completely unable to keep my house tidy. And while I fit their concept of Aspies having a high IQ in the gifted range, my sister, who also has AS has normal intelligence (on the other hand, she IS very organized).
So, while all they say is true for Patrick, his gifts, work and relationships, Aspies are individuals, too, and quite different from each other.
That said, I do recommend this book to anyone who has a friend or family member with AS, as it is very helpful in explaining how people with AS think, perceive their surroundings and feel different, and how to make family life pleasant and loving by respecting the AS person (and in turn, the person with AS trying his/her best, to understand and love their family and friends).
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Human side of Asperger Syndrome 16 Feb 2003
By "jeffwadesr" - Published on
Format: Paperback
The McCabes put a very human side to the reality of having, and also living with someone who has, Asperger Syndrome. Laugh and cry with them as they share their lives with the readers so that we can understand the world through their eyes.
A must read for anyone with an association with an AS person. Helpful also if you have recently become aware of AS in your own life, you are not alone. An easy read. Thank you, McCabes, for sharing your lives.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
positive and successful but could be better 28 Oct 2006
By Andy - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Many books on this topic are not as positive as this or have a succesful Asperger individual writing it! However, I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure the child and wife who also wrote this book are also mildly disabled too (not necessarilly Asperger's but possibly) and the family is just oblivious of this. That doesn't disvalue anything of what any of them say at all; however if they missed this they missed putting other very important details that should have been covered in this brief book also. If you have Asperger's I hope you can relate with what I'm saying especially after reading this book! Including stating that they know although the author was this way that that doesn't mean they think all people with this syndrome are. They never said they all were but they didn't say the opposite and for some reader's especially people with the syndrome I bet they need to here that in order to not assume they thought otherwise. This book can be useful but, it isn't a complete book on the topic for those just beginning to learn about this syndrome. That's not what I expected or I think what the book is met to be, but the advice could be more Asperger Specific. It is very general good advice for people to take on how to deal with many people not just those with Asperger's. And if you know quite a bit on this topic don't expect to learn anything new. If you want a book on positive Asperger's with the best roll model defiantly get Diagnosing Jefferson instead or additional to this book! It's better especially if you want a more thourough, complete, or slightly more advanced book on the topic. But, to use this book for the man and family as a role model to prove Asperger's can succeeed in the write environment surrounded with the right attidutes both personally and professionally is defiantly a good reason to get this book! The author's a manager for crying out loud!
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