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Product Description
Review
Pat Craven seems to know my husband! --Reader
Thank you for the book. The warning signs have helped me not to make the same mistake again. --Reader
I can honestly say that without reading that book (9 times no less) I dont' think I would be here today relaxed in my own home with my children that I love so much. --Reader
Thank you for the book. The warning signs have helped me not to make the same mistake again. --Reader
I can honestly say that without reading that book (9 times no less) I dont' think I would be here today relaxed in my own home with my children that I love so much. --Reader
Product Description
This book explains violent and abusive behaviour and places it in a social context. It can help readers of any age and sexual orientation to change their own bahaviour and to recognise when they are being controlled.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 37 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I stumbled on this book by chance, my story is similar to Pat Craven's. As a serving Police Officer domestic abuse is probably the most important issue the police deal with day in day out!However ours is a organisation that loves to get results and detect crimes. Domestic abuse is far more complicated than that. As a young police officer, I used to think why do they stay with them? Surely it would be easier to leave. But this book explains why? and how? I now understand. What this book does is empower you, because now you know that you are not alone, there are thousands of women and children who are going through exactly what you are experiencing. It gives you the plain facts and lets be honest these men are predictable and self centred. Now you know his tactics you can plan ahead! Every man and women on this planet should read this book, it will save you from a lot of aggravation, worry and upset. This book will help you spot a menace from 100 yards, thank you Pat.
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I bought this book and it has changed my life.
I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.
This book is enjoyable, clear and concise. On every page i recognised something that was happening to me. It was though i woke up and a light bulb had been switched on in my head, i suddenly realised what was happening and i started to get angry, how dare i be treated like this and taken for granted.
When i started to say no, and confront what was happening things actually got worse. Eventually he admitted he had a problem (after 7 years) and tht really he didn't want to be that kind of person anymore.
This book has educated me, i can now describe in words what has been happening to me. I have regained my own life, I can do what i want when i want, and i dont care what he thinks anymore, last week i went to a nightclub for the first time in 7 years without him.
The old me is coming back and i cant believe i have wasted my life trying to please a man who really has been emotionally controlling me for years.
And to not slip into my old ways, i recap this book every week or so.
Buy this book - it is fantastic!
I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.
This book is enjoyable, clear and concise. On every page i recognised something that was happening to me. It was though i woke up and a light bulb had been switched on in my head, i suddenly realised what was happening and i started to get angry, how dare i be treated like this and taken for granted.
When i started to say no, and confront what was happening things actually got worse. Eventually he admitted he had a problem (after 7 years) and tht really he didn't want to be that kind of person anymore.
This book has educated me, i can now describe in words what has been happening to me. I have regained my own life, I can do what i want when i want, and i dont care what he thinks anymore, last week i went to a nightclub for the first time in 7 years without him.
The old me is coming back and i cant believe i have wasted my life trying to please a man who really has been emotionally controlling me for years.
And to not slip into my old ways, i recap this book every week or so.
Buy this book - it is fantastic!
47 of 48 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a man, I would not recommend that women read this book....
I would recommend that EVERYONE read this book! This is the best and most important book you will ever read, about relationships - and it could just save your life. Like a user-friendly guide to the Inner-workings of a complicated machine, it lays bare the mechanisms of power and control and the tactics used to hold women in abusive relationships. Then, it reassembles them into a comprehensible and frighteningly recognisable whole - 'The Dominator' -who lives and breathes and fairly strides across the pages.
Brilliantly illustrated and captioned, this is no man-hating rant but a book bursting with knowledge, humour and profound insight into a complex problem, a book that readily and poignantly acknowledges the decent men among us. Deliciously dissident and wickedly witty, it had me laughing out loud, at times. On a more sombre note, the section on children is a chilling triumph - a blistering prophecy on how we are shaping our future. So, if you've ever wondered about the health of your own relationship - If you've ever asked the question, "Why don't they just leave?" Or if you simply want to learn a stack about these complex Issues - Then buy this book and read it Now! You'll read it again and again - as I have. A fascinating treasure-house of essential knowledge.
I would recommend that EVERYONE read this book! This is the best and most important book you will ever read, about relationships - and it could just save your life. Like a user-friendly guide to the Inner-workings of a complicated machine, it lays bare the mechanisms of power and control and the tactics used to hold women in abusive relationships. Then, it reassembles them into a comprehensible and frighteningly recognisable whole - 'The Dominator' -who lives and breathes and fairly strides across the pages.
Brilliantly illustrated and captioned, this is no man-hating rant but a book bursting with knowledge, humour and profound insight into a complex problem, a book that readily and poignantly acknowledges the decent men among us. Deliciously dissident and wickedly witty, it had me laughing out loud, at times. On a more sombre note, the section on children is a chilling triumph - a blistering prophecy on how we are shaping our future. So, if you've ever wondered about the health of your own relationship - If you've ever asked the question, "Why don't they just leave?" Or if you simply want to learn a stack about these complex Issues - Then buy this book and read it Now! You'll read it again and again - as I have. A fascinating treasure-house of essential knowledge.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Empowering, a tool to use
For years I have been in subtle emotional abuse, which only needed a very touch of violence on very rare occasions. He could and did break me in other ways. Read more
Published 2 days ago by Redwood
Life changing.
My problem was i had no idea of what love really was. My distorted view kept me in an abusive marriage for thirteen years. I saw my self as a woman who loved to much! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Rachael
pat craven
i feelt his book uis wonde4rful it was what ui wasd really looking for and i am happy to be able to read someothing like this i am happy to say that i will order more of these... Read more
Published 3 months ago by skye223
Essential reading
Living with the Dominator is such an excellent and easy read that I'd highly recommend! It's written in a useful and accessible format using The Dominator character to make it... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Julia
Freedom
This book is great, I found it really helpful. I have completed the freedom programme group and wanted this as a review. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Survivor 79
Living with the Dominator
In the past I have been a victim of Domestic Abuse and now as a Family Suppoert Worker I work with victims of domestic abuse. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Karen
Recognized my EX and the Monster he was and still IS
I was given this book to read by my councellor and by god am I greatful she did. It helped me recognize who, what & Why i've been living with this man. Read more
Published 4 months ago by N
saved me!!
I was given this book in 2007. To this day I read it every now and then. It helped me recognise signs of a dominator in potential partners and taught me what to look for in a... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Doodlesjnr
a must have book
We use and give this book out to women we support over and over again. It's such a useful tool for women living in abusive relationships or for women who have left but still have... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Wrexham W.A,
Essential for domestic abuse victims and agency staff!
This book features hugely in my life due to the nature of my job and the fact I facilitate the Freedom programme at present. Read more
Published 6 months ago by jessicas_mummy
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