Living with someone who is depressed is one of the loneliest feelings in the world. You’re trapped with someone you know you love, and yet the only side of them you see makes you miserable and confused. There’s plenty of help out there for your partner, but what about you? How do you cope? When Caroline Carr’s partner of 20 years became depressed, it was a shock. But slowly she learnt the techniques she needed to cope without being dragged down herself, and was inspired to write this book. From her own experience and from talking to others in the same boat, she imparts advice and support on: - how to look after yourself and the rest of your family - how to support your partner - understanding depression and how it affects you - strategies to get you through - where to get help Caroline’s very honest account of her relationship will show you how she coped, and how you can cope too.
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This is by far the best book to have been written by a carer of a depressed partner. It is moving, practical, down to earth and personal... This book is an obligatory read. --Paul Lanham, Vice-President of Depression Alliance
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Support for people with a depressed partner
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
By Feral Cat
Format:Hardcover
This is a short book, easy to read (which is very helpful when you are faced with dealing with a depressed individual and feeling confused and at a loss what to do yourself). There are many self-help books out there, some heavy going - I have ploughed through several making notes! This one lightens the load and helps you to remember to take care of yourself too, rather than allowing yourself to be dragged down. It is also very reassuring to find that your experiences are similar to other people's and that you are not alone and nor are you the cause of the problem.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By Snowy3
Format:Hardcover
I managed to read this book in one sitting as it was so easy to read. There are some nice light humorous comments at times and you do feel for the author and the situation. There are plenty of useful tips on how to deal with a depressed person but i have dropped one star off the rating because unfortunatly my situation is quite different and i couldn't relate to most things. On the whole i would recommend however - there is lots of useful info on depression in general and some useful contacts.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
By KS
Format:Paperback
While this book describes the author's experience and the emotions you go through when living with a depressed person very well, I found that it was lacking something.
I live with a depressed husband, and apart from him being in therapy we also do couples counseling with a very experienced psychologist. To me this is very valuable because it helps me to understand better what I can reasonably expect, and it keeps him accountable for taking steps to get better. I thought that the author's approach was very passive; "be supportive", "he is depressed, he can't help it", etc. One of the elements of treating depression is for the depressed to put structures in place to help overcome the depression, and couples counseling is a very good way to keep a dialogue going about this.
I live with a depressed husband, and apart from him being in therapy we also do couples counseling with a very experienced psychologist. To me this is very valuable because it helps me to understand better what I can reasonably expect, and it keeps him accountable for taking steps to get better. I thought that the author's approach was very passive; "be supportive", "he is depressed, he can't help it", etc. One of the elements of treating depression is for the depressed to put structures in place to help overcome the depression, and couples counseling is a very good way to keep a dialogue going about this.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars
Very little to say on the reality of living with mental illness and...
I bought this book as the market for books dealing with the reality of living with depression in a partner is quite limited. Read more
Published 2 months ago by M. A. Ryan
3.0 out of 5 stars
SOme helpful ideas but not ground breaking
With the amount of positive feedback this book had received, I suspect I was possibly expecting an epihany on reading it...which did not occur. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Beauty on the Fire
4.0 out of 5 stars
Very useful
I found this book very useful, especially in terms of what depression is and how it can affect not just one person, but the whole family. Read more
Published on 19 Jan 2011 by Matt
3.0 out of 5 stars
better than nothing
I was searching for a book to help me better understand my husband's illness, and this seems currently to be the best there is, however I read it in less than 2 hours, and don't... Read more
Published on 17 Jan 2011 by Ms. H. Stewart
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant.
this book is essential reading for anyone dealing with depression and not just their partners. I would highly recommend it to anyone, even if you suffer from depression yourself. Read more
Published on 29 May 2010 by jane asher
4.0 out of 5 stars
Perspective
An interesting read. As someone who experiences depression I bought this book for my wife, my motives I am unsure about but the best I can come up with was to broaden
her... Read more
her... Read more
Published on 29 Aug 2009 by mr c edwards
4.0 out of 5 stars
Depression
Living with the Black Dog: How to Cope When Your Partner Is Depressed
Very useful in my work as a therapist. I loan copies to my clients.
Very useful in my work as a therapist. I loan copies to my clients.
Published on 2 July 2009 by C. Billingham
5.0 out of 5 stars
Easy to read
This book is well written and organised in a way that makes it easy to read. It is positive and helpful with important pointers as to how to cope. Read more
Published on 15 Mar 2009 by 60north
5.0 out of 5 stars
Coping with a depressed partner
There is very little help for the families of those suffering from depression and I found this book very comforting. Read more
Published on 11 Mar 2009 by Mrs. Jennifer H. Robinson
4.0 out of 5 stars
No magic formula to fix everything but plenty of practical tips
A quick read with a lot of advice about remembering that it's your partner's behavouir that is the problem not your partner, imagining yourself ina bubble to stop there negativity... Read more
Published on 25 Aug 2008 by Kathryn Ross
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