I don't mind the truncation of the story. I don't think Aslan appears weak. But the writing is technically very poor. It is absolute ellipsis *hell*. Check out this unmodified passage from the first/second page (it has a nasty habit of splitting sentences across page turns):
"And of course, right here on this side of the wardrobe, were four children ... Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy ... all of them longing for adventure. Lucy, the youngest, and most longing, was first to push past the furry coats ... [turn page] ... and find herself in a snowy wood, under a streetlamp ... where the Witch's wickedness had made it always winter."
It's just awful reading this to my daughter. I am tempted to make up my own version.