Q&A with Linda Green
What is your most embarrassing teenage memory?
I worked as a waitress in the Little Chef between school and college. One day some young Spurs footballers, who I knew from my visits to the training ground, came in. I spent over an hour walking in a crab-like fashion between tables so they didn't see me in the hideous uniform.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be an author from the age of about eight when I wrote my first novella The Time Machine--a pony-based time-travel thriller (unfortunately the genre never really took off!). Had to wait twenty-nine years to see my first published novel but it was so worth it.
Who was your teenage crush?
Gary Mabbutt, the Spurs and England footballer. I had a misspent youth at the Spurs training ground and he took the time and trouble to talk to me, earning my utter devotion. He was a perfect gentleman and a marvellous ambassador for the game--today's footballers take note.
If you could give one piece of advice to your fifteen-year-old self, what would it be?
Quit worrying. You will actually live the life you've dreamed of. It will just take a while for it to all come together. Oh and get rid of that awful flick!
What's your favourite meal?
Fresh pasta with roasted red peppers, cherry tomatoes, asparagus, pine nuts and pesto sauce. I could probably eat my body weight in red peppers.
How do you relax?
I go to a NIA dance class once a week where I get lost in the music and indulge my teenage fantasy of being in Fame. I can't dance but no one cares and I always emerge feeling miles better than when I went in.
What puts a smile on your face?
My son being the wonderfully individual little person he is.
If you could take only three things to a desert island, what would they be?
The i-Pod containing my 40th birthday top 40 compilation, my husband to show me how to use it and my son (whose batteries never run out) as a constant source of entertainment.
Whats your TV guilty pleasure?
Over the Rainbow on BBC1. My son is obsessed with The Wizard of Oz which is why I started watching it but I am now disturbingly bothered about who wins!
What song would be the soundtrack to your life?
'Life in a Northern Town' by Dream Academy. I fell in love with Yorkshire as a teenager, and am so glad I ended up here. I can't imagine living anywhere else.
Who is your favourite fictional heroine?
Susie Salmon in The Lovely Bones for not leaving the people she loved.
Who is your favourite fictional hero?
Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird for standing up for what was right.
What is your worst habit?
Telling Jeremy Paxman what questions to ask while watching Newsnight.
If you could have written any novel, which one would it be?
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Original, imaginative and extraordinarily good.
Where do you like to write?
At my computer in my 'office' at home; draughty, leaking leaded windows looking out on to a house where Patrick Brontë once resided, with the sound of children at my son's school playing outside as background noise.
What is your motto?
Carpe diem. Life is too short to do anything but seize the day.
What's your favourite season and why?
Autumn. Scrunchy leaves, glorious colours in the valley where I live and the chance to wear my Earth boots for six months.
What would be your specialist subject on Mastermind?
Sadly, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club 1983-86. See misspent youth above.
What is your ideal holiday location?
The best holiday I ever had was trekking after wild orang-utans in the tropical rainforests of Borneo. Basic amenities, mud, sweat, giant creepy crawlies but the most amazing experience of gazing into the eyes of a young orang-utan above me in a tree.
Describe your perfect weekend.
Had it recently for my 40th birthday; surrounded by family and friends, meal at my favourite restaurant, Relish in Hebden Bridge, and listening to my top 40 songs from the last 40 years – Joni Mitchell to Florence and the Machine via Blondie!
Who's your celebrity crush?
George Clooney – big time. Seem to have a bit of a George thing going on, liked George Michael as a teenager and also have a sneaking regard for George Alagiah on BBC news!
Describe your dream dinner party line-up.
Nelson Mandela, Caroline Aherne, Barack Obama, Margaret Atwood, Stephen Fry, Julie Walters, George Clooney, Ellen McArthur, Jeremy Paxman. I'd have Caroline Aherne chairing the 'heated debate' as Mrs Merton.
What are your three handbag essentials?
Photos of son and husband, mobile so I can let people know I'm running late and Mr Men books to keep my son entertained.
Describe yourself in a tweet.
Idealistic, passionate, determined, unconventional, green, veggie, purple-loving mum and author who never fits into boxes on questionnaires.
What are you most proud of?
Giving birth to my son in a birthing pool at home without any drugs. Have a photo of me taken by my husband a few seconds later – the expression on my face says it all.