Most Helpful Customer Reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The only book that helped me understand motherhood, 28 May 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Life After Birth (Paperback)
Having read the other nine reviews of this book, I can only assume that if we vary between one and five stars then we vary greatly in the way giving birth has affected us. I only wish I could have read this book during the first difficult weeks of having my daughter instead of four months into it, when post natal depression was still affecting me greatly. The book pulls no punches about what motherhood does to you - from a life of complete individualism to one of complete control by a tiny human! This is the only book that tells it like it is FOR SOME WOMEN - not everyone is going to feel the way Kate Figes explains yet I cannot believe that MOST women don't feel some sense of loss when they give themselves up to motherhood. This book is a self-help manual to any woman who experienced a traumatic birth and who is finding motherhood nothing like the romantic image we might have had during our pregnancies - it reassures us that it is not bad to feel negative thoughts about what we have given up and it allows us to weep quietly when we relive the difficult moments of childbirth and the days and weeks afterwards that were very bleak. The positive thoughts we can take from the book is that other women have & will continue to go through what we are experiencing and that we can begin to enjoy our babies eventually - yes, there is life after birth!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The author's views presented as facts- irritating., 3 Dec 2008
This review is from: Life After Birth (Paperback)
I found this book irritating and wish I had not been enticed by the encouraging introduction. Apart from the relentless negativity about motherhood I found that the information seemed to be the author's views presented as facts. So instead of saying "I believe" to make a point she would state her views as if they were applicable to all people. There were so many generalisations.She also tended to focus on views that supported her own experiences. For example, when talkng about women going back to work she wanted to reduce the supposed guilt women feel (noble) but used stay at home mothers as the scapegoat,implying that they are selfish and wanting to keep their children to themselves. She did not seem to consider that women might find it stressful trying to do two jobs at once and choose to focus on motherhood even if they will struggle financially or find it a bit repetitive. I felt this was looking down upon the various choices women want to make about their lives.
When talking about relationships, she makes a highly annoying statement as fact about the passion in all relationships fizzling out and couples beginning to fantasise about other people. Again this is a huge assumption and I felt like telling her to "speak for herself." There are other examples of these generalisations.
I enjoyed the quotes from the various mothers's experiences and wish there were more, though, again these views seem to have been chosen to back up her views. After ranting for most of each chapter, there was little actual advice, instead some patronising comment about how it would all be worth it in the end, as if women are not capable of reaching this conclusion on their own.
I think the sociological research throughout is interesting and the health problems at the end of the chapters truly helpful, but this book tried to tell me how I should think and feel and may be more damaging in the long run.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Essential Reading for New Mums!!!, 20 Feb 2007
This review is from: Life After Birth (Paperback)
I agree with all the previous positive reviews....an amazing book.
When my baby was 8 months old I was diagnosed with Post Natal depression. I had felt low for months, was struggling on thinking it was just the stress of being new at this parenting lark. After diagnosis I picked up this book and it has made me feel so positive. The fact is when you feel low about being a mum, you feel so lonely, and books such as this which shatter the myth of motherhood reassure you that you are not the only mother feeling this way, it's just unfortunately still a taboo in our society.
If you are feeling down about being a mummy or your relationship is suffering due to your new arrival I strongly recommend this book. It will make you realise your feelings ARE normal and you WILL feel better.
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