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Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse Hardcover – Jan 1999

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 210 pages
  • Publisher: J P Tarcher (Jan. 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0874779561
  • ISBN-13: 978-0874779561
  • Product Dimensions: 15.8 x 2.1 x 23.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 433,747 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

From the Author

An Exciting, New Vision of Sexual Experience
Forget everything you've ever learned about ³normal" sex. Throw away the equation that sex equals intercourse. Then open your mind, heart, and spirit to all the exciting, new possibilities that come up. Being fully present with your lover, unconcerned with performance pressures, and releasing all expectations about outcomes makes sex a joyous adventure in which you and your partner are free to experiment with infinite possibilities--and the whole world becomes a sex toy. Shere Hite has said, ³LET ME COUNT THE WAYS is the gest guide available for thinking for yourself about sex." If you're ready for the greatest erotic adventure of your life, then this book is for you.

Customer Reviews

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 25 April 1999
Format: Hardcover
This book puts forth the bold idea that couples do not need to have intercourse to have sex, and then discusses how to have great sex without intercourse. The only downside to the book is that it's a little repetitive. It also is a good book for unmarried teens and young adults to read, because it shows them how to have positive sexual experiences without the risk of pregnancy or sexulally transmitted diseases.
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By cardigran on 18 Feb. 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This was not quite what I expected, but it was interesting in parts.Quite heavy going and repetitive without saying much at times.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 6 reviews
34 of 39 people found the following review helpful
A new way of looking at sex 25 April 1999
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
This book puts forth the bold idea that couples do not need to have intercourse to have sex, and then discusses how to have great sex without intercourse. The only downside to the book is that it's a little repetitive. It also is a good book for unmarried teens and young adults to read, because it shows them how to have positive sexual experiences without the risk of pregnancy or sexulally transmitted diseases.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Not what I expected, but still worth reading 3 Jan. 2009
By Delphine - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
When I ordered this book, I thought it would be kind of a manual for intercourse-less sex, but it turned out to be more about how to change our view of sex and intercourse, and find out what exactly we like and want. It wasn't what I expected at all, but it was definitely worth reading.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Great for training your mind to think differently about sex 28 May 2009
By Faith B. White - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As another review has said, this book does not really tell you how to deal with pain or issues involving "avoiding" intercourse, but it does give you plenty of information on how to retrain your brain from thinking about "normal" sex to thinking about how you like to experience sex.
A warning for the conservative reader, some items may be offensive. Just skim over chapter 2, or skip it all together. I didn't really need to read all of that to gain GREAT results from the book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
In the top 20 of my books on relationships and marriage 22 Jan. 2013
By Dan E. Nicholas - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Let Me Count The Ways-Sex Without Intercourse, by Marty Klein, review by Dan Nicholas 1.22.13

Marty Klein's work here was incredible for me when I first discovered this book as a dating man in my mid 50s a decade back. My aim--then and now--was to honor Sacramental Love as a theologian and retired pastor-priest who was divorced and starting over, having decided I didn't want to go the monastic and solitary route in the endgame; nor be cavalier and just date like a Don Juan. I was looking to find love and, a long-term committed relationship and, ultimately, marriage. One Last Time. And yet I wanted a serious erotic connection this time in the package. (By the way: I had to submit this review 3x to get it past the Amazon Censor Computer; so I've dumbed down some words here. The morality police mindset has gotten to the Amazon Censor Machine. Not a pretty day.)

Klein taught me back in 1999 when this book first came out that the whole goofy thing about knocking boots and doing the Bonk on the third date these days could be turned on its head in a creative way. And oh how many of us love turning things on their heads sexually. He argues well that making love did not/does not have to include penetrative P in the V connecting. What? We men have been taught even by biology that Going Home was going home, no poetic side steps about it. Well, Klein makes us more than animal once again. Yeah. Cheer from the guys. He turns us men also into poets who know how to please a woman, how to slow down and please a woman. And to enjoy the slow ride. And to do it with the lights on.

Yes, how not to be the two Pump Chump or so goal oriented. That's what this book is about. I learned one could exchange all things hot, personal, soul connecting and orgasmic via touching without the Bonk; and without that "The Bonk Changes Everything" P in the V rule I had been taught earlier.

Silly, I know, but a lot of us still believe that a relationship changes when a man's Little Head enters a woman's Special Place (not sure the V word is what is blocking this with the auto censor? Are we back to the days of the V monologues? Hmmm ). As to crossing the P in the V line? This is a sacramental and a theological line for many of us traditional Carnal Knowledge is sex type guys; in the Biblical sense and all. This planting of the old Johnny Appleseed me in the wonderfully intimate and Personal You--nothing in the least bit casual about this to many traditional folks. Some of us are still around.

In that manner of thinking then, this book is absolutely required reading for traditional folk or those of the conservative set. Or any group of religious or serious people who believe and make every attempt to practice The Betrothal Act intentionally. For me this is waiting and saving The Big Deed until a couple is pretty sure they are on the road to marriage with their intentions. You know--like ring and a date. With the help of this book these folks don't have to face the pressure of full on sex until after their wedding day? Easier said than done, right? At least with this book we can start getting to know each other, getting honest and real and naked true about how coming closer physically will look. Do we have what it takes? Heck, with the average wedding costing $26,000; better be some Outercourse experiece as insurance that you are a match. Seems to me.

The message of this book can bring two people closer spiritually and love wise too, as they make up their final minds if the one they are with is the one the want to be with for the long, long haul. All clearly this side of the Sacramental P in the V Deed. Klien shows us how one can get sexual without getting, well, sexual. This kind of talk is madness of course; and yet it is a talk all lovers understand.

And all this not to mention the side benefit safer sex for mid-life and last trimester endgame daters out there. Which is about 45 million of us in the USA I'm told.

I'd recommend this book for all counselors and especially for pastors and priests who are trying to help conflicted traditional types who want to go out and kiss some frogs so to speak but are confused. Yes, you maybe not yet be ready yet to offer up that Iconic Cherry. Kissing frogs in the spirit of this book can help. (Not to ay that the lady or the man is particularly is a frog; but rather that it is the connection that is frog like.)

In mid life especially sexual compatibility is important. You've got to test the love waters some. With a grasp of what Klein calls Outercourse this is possible. One does not have to end up head over heels physically involved with someone before one really gets to know them. And this way you get to explore the all-important physical connection that might be there or just might not. With Outercourse she can spend the night and you can do breakfast together and all without the Sex Changes Everything Damocles Sword hanging over your head.

The point of this book is for a man, especially, is to rethink what it means: to have done The Deed with a woman. To be sexual with a woman. To be intimate with a woman. Even the Deed Changes Everything rule changes when one starts redefining just what it is that is sexual. And to this point I also strongly recommend Greta Christina's article Are We Having Sex Yet Or What, which is required reading on many college campuses. Honest. It's on the web. Google it and then buy this almost ancient book here, too.

Oh, and I'd recommend Klein for married folk, too; as I've learned here that the #1 advice sex counselors give married people having trouble in the sack these days is the intercourse fast. Yes, to back off of the P in the V sex thing in exchange for some hot Outercourse. Had I known this Truth it just might have saved my last marriage, come to think. Ok, maybe not.

I've bought copies of this Klein book as gifts for couples getting married, especially church couples. And, I gobble them up in used bookstores when they appear; which is seldom. I've given at least one copy to a married guy who loved to blame his wife for their sexual dysfunction; yet he admitted he had not grasped oral yet. Hmmm.

This book is that good, honest. No matter that it has been out a decade and a half by now. It is still among the top 20 of all the 200 sex, love and marriage books I own. Thanks Marty, physical relationship counselor that you are, working just an hour from my house. I won't be seeing you any time soon. Your book did the job.

Now, Marty; go to work counseling the Amazon Censor Computer guy.
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Better than "Secret Suffering" 14 April 2010
By Arielle - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
An educational book about sex with a deemphasis on our society's expectation for penetrative sex. The drawbacks of penetrative sex are made very clear in this book. Finding other ways to explore our sexuality and validating the "normalcy" of these alternatives is what this book is all about. This is especially comforting for those of us who experience pain with penetrative sex. It is estimated that 18 percent of women have been diagnosed with vulvodynia- a disorder that causes excruciating pain with penetrative intercourse. This book is a valuable resource for couples dealing with any condition that makes penetrative sex impossible.

The only complaint I have about this book, is that there is no mention of vulvodynia. This is unfortunate because this is a disorder that common in women but has received very little media attention.

Otherwise, the book makes a compelling case for alternatives to conventional ways of thinking about intimacy and sex.
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