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Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box
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More About the Author
Product Description
Stephen R. Covey, Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
"Profound...engaging...packed with insight. I couldn't recommend it more
highly"
highly"
Product Description
You might think you are a people person. But do you really treat others well? And how can you improve your dealings with those around you?
Be prepared to have your world turned upside down and open your eyes to a whole new way of living and working.
Through a series of entertaining stories, this astonishing book will show you how most of us are not fulfilling our potential – in our personal lives and at work – because of ‘self-deception’. It will show you how to escape your box of self-deception, and change for the better in a lasting way:
* Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do to help
* Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others
* Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better.
By following this book’s advice, you can deepen your personal happiness, strengthen your relationships, improve your leadership skills, build teamwork – and increase your success in everything you choose to pursue.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
It was two months ago to the day that I first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters of Zagrum Company to interview for a senior management position. Read the first page Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
It was two months ago to the day that I first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters of Zagrum Company to interview for a senior management position. Read the first page Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I first read this book several years ago but the ideas in it have stayed with me and increased in relevance over time. I read it mainly in the hope of finding ways to 'help' other people improve and so was very resistant to the idea that I might be contributing to the problems they were causing me. However, the simplicity, elegance and depth of the concepts rang so true and were so useful to me, in all areas of my life, that I have come back to it time and time again. At the heart of Arbinger work is the concept that we are continually making a choice in our `way of being' - to be responsive and to see others as people, whose needs and desires are just as important as our own, or to be resistant and to see others as objects, whose needs and desires are not as important as out own. Connected to this is the idea of self deception, which you could describe as the assumption that I am not a problem. When I am self-deceived (which, let's face it, is most of the time!) I am creating my own problems, but I am unable to see this, and I resist any attempt to solve these problems even though I say that is what I want. Liberation lies in the continuing efforts to 'get out of the box' and see people and situations without distortion and this book provides many illustrations and tools to help you do this.
30 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
The Arbinger Institute's view on how we create (organisational) problems for ourselves and then how we "fix" them, is simple yet profound.
I've read hundreds of management , leadership and personal development books ... This one adopts the number one position - Overnight!
Whether you are struglling to influence your team or organisation to willingly embrace change; or find yourself as a parent with a "difficult" child, then this is for you.
They suggest that we suffer from 3 problems!
1 We create our own problems 2 We are blind to these problems 3 We resist wanting to fix these problems..
The book is a story (therefore any easy read!) of a new guy 6 months into his new company, attending his first review with the boss. He believes that he has done really well since he joined and is anticipating bouquets...
However, his boss (the enlightened one!) has a different view. What unfolds is a home truths session that could be you or I... dealing with the essence of why we create the problems we do with people.
Not until the final pages does the author reveal the solution.
Having read Covey, Senge, Peters etc. I found this a refreshing view of our eternal challenge with people.
Buy it and give your friends a copy!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I think the major sticking point for me on this book was the 1st person narrative style. The book describes the induction process of a new executive within a highly successful (but fictional) business that places staff relationships above all else. There is nothing else - no research findings, no references, no additional sources. Maybe it's my cynicism but for a UK reader working in a state run institution I found this really annoying. It reminded me very much of the way management guru's do Socratic questioning; careful to include a little bit of hardship, personal disclosure and transformation but ultimate salvation (and the book is available in the foyer)!
Anyway, back to the text. If you can get over this then the book does provide a useful description of how intent precedes action, and doing things for the right reason is often the crucial difference in personal change. I also liked the implicit message of individual responsibility; too much of my own work place conflicts remain unresolved through self-justifications that are premised on the other person having the problem. Such issues are the primary thread throughout and it's hard to take issue with a book that promotes seeing colleagues as people rather than objects. I think David Bohm's book (On Dialogue) provides a better description but this book covers the main points.
In summary then, the writing style won't appeal to everyone but if your looking for a management book to pass the time this could be for you.
Anyway, back to the text. If you can get over this then the book does provide a useful description of how intent precedes action, and doing things for the right reason is often the crucial difference in personal change. I also liked the implicit message of individual responsibility; too much of my own work place conflicts remain unresolved through self-justifications that are premised on the other person having the problem. Such issues are the primary thread throughout and it's hard to take issue with a book that promotes seeing colleagues as people rather than objects. I think David Bohm's book (On Dialogue) provides a better description but this book covers the main points.
In summary then, the writing style won't appeal to everyone but if your looking for a management book to pass the time this could be for you.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
LOVE IT
For those who haven't read this book yet, I would definitely recommend it to all!! Whether you are a leader, a manager or a busy mum - managing her home and children, this is a... Read more
Published 17 days ago by Shay
Great read... left feeling I need more
This book reads as a story whilst introducing the key concept of being 'out of the box' towards others and treating people as people. Read more
Published 23 days ago by G. Kennett
Corporate psycho-babble?
I am aware that at least one multi-national encourages or forces (perhaps at first three months review) the hapless employee - doubtless the same hapless empolyee who just a little... Read more
Published 5 months ago by opus
Leadership and self deception- getting out of the box
Everyone should read this book. If a person has empathy then they will understand its message and it would help create a better society. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Mrs. H. L. Barnes
Makes you think about your actions
To be honest i am about 3/4 through the book and so far am really enjoying the read.
Unlike most instructional management books this is set out as a part story in the... Read more
Unlike most instructional management books this is set out as a part story in the... Read more
Published 12 months ago by zombie hunter
The message is right but could be summarised nicely in 5 pages -...
As with other books of this 'management self help' genre, there is a nugget of gold included but it unfortunately comes wrapped in tons of substandard pulp style writing. Read more
Published on 2 Mar 2010 by AK
Lives up to expected standards
Having read all the other adrian mole books this has no surprises. good humour amusing easy to read.
Published on 21 Dec 2009 by A. R. Hill
Pathetic
I cant believe I wasted my time reading such a book. In simple terms, the message is this, dont be quick to judge and be understanding to what the other person might be in. Read more
Published on 13 Aug 2009 by M. Rehman
Enlightening
I was recommended this book and I certainly was not disappointed. It is literally like somebody switched the light on and suddenly everything becomes clear. Must read!
Published on 14 Jun 2009 by Anonymous
The problem is you
This strange homoerotic tale of a management candidate's discussions with his bosses at the company is some of the most patronising dreck I have ever had the misfortune to... Read more
Published on 18 Sep 2008
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