- Paperback: 464 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow & Company; Reprint edition (1 Feb 2003)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0380813815
- ISBN-13: 978-0380813810
- Product Dimensions: 20.4 x 13.5 x 2 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
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- #89 in Books > Fiction > Horror > Parodies & Satires
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ`s Childhood Pal
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Product Description
Book Description
The hilarious (and ever so slightly sacrilegious) true story of the New Testament.
--This text refers to an alternate
Paperback
edition.
Product Description
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years - except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in this divinely hilarious, yet heartfelt work 'reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams' (Philadelphia Inquirer). Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes, Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Saviour's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more - except maybe 'Maggie,' Mary of Magdala - and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
--This text refers to the
Perfect Paperback
edition.
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You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. Read the first page
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
27 of 28 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Did you know that Noah postponed his death for 800 years by convincing a sympathetic Angel of Death that he (Noah) was behind in his paperwork? Such is one of the fascinating factoids found in LAMB, the story of Christ's life as told by his life-long best bud Biff, otherwise known as Levi, son of Alphaeus and Naomi of Nazareth.
Biff, so nick-named for the daily slaps upside his head he required as a child, is raised from the dead in the twentieth century to write another gospel. As the millennium approaches, the Son of God is unhappy with the versions written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and wants a re-write. So, Biff is held a virtual prisoner by his minder, the angel Raziel, in the St. Louis Hyatt Regency until the manuscript is finished.
After a few introductory scenes in which a young Joshua (aka Jesus) restores life to dead lizards, has mixed luck with deceased humans, and becomes infatuated with a budding Mary Magdalene ("Maggie"), Biff's story hits its stride after Joshua, at about thirteen, debates the Pharisees in the Temple of Jerusalem. Then, our two heroes set out for the Far East in search of the Three Wise Men (Balthasar, Gaspar, Melchior) that attended Joshua's birth. From them, in Afghanistan, China, and India, Joshua learns the wisdom of the Eastern religions in preparation for his own ministry. Since Joshua is forbidden by his Heavenly Father from "knowing" women in the biblical sense, he relies on Biff to apprise him of the experience. And Biff, a ladies man, is just the one to do it, especially after several years living with the Eight Chinese Concubines, who have such names as Tiny Feet of the Divine Dance of Joyous Orgasm, Silken Pillows of the Heavenly Softness of Clouds, Pea Pods in Duck Sauce with Crispy Noodle, and Sue (short for Susanna).
After seventeen years of wandering and adventure, Biff and Joshua return to Galilee, where the latter gathers his apostles and disciples and begins the ministry familiar to readers of the traditional gospels. Of course, there are embellishments. Biff's narrative ends on the evening of the Friday of Joshua's crucifixion.
LAMB is inspired humor. It's also irreverent, but not maliciously so. The book is author Chris Moore's attempt to flesh out the story of Jesus (Joshua) - to give him a more endearingly human side. For example, when Joshua transforms water into wine at the wedding feast at Cana, he samples his miracle perhaps a little too much. And, when his disciples are astounded when he walks on the surface of the Sea of Galilee, Joshua says:
"I just ate. You can't go into the water for an hour after you eat. You could get a cramp. What, none of you guys have mothers?"
As one born and raised Catholic (and since "fallen away"), I immensely enjoyed the flippancy of LAMB. Sister Mary's grade school catechism class was never so much fun. While a Christian of a more fundamentalist belief might find LAMB faintly blasphemous, I would hope not. I trust even JC could laugh at a good dirty joke as he sat around the village well with the lads.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Christopher Moore is very very brave. His works so far have been for the most part extremely funny, setting a benchmark for himself which is hard to consistently write at. Lamb, is not as overtly funny since it is heavily grounded in history. That said, Lamb is still the funniest take on religion out there and of equal importance (and this is where skill with creativity comes in) it is not overtly blasphemous. Sure, it'll have some readers frowning as Jesus gets high on caffeine and gets heal-happy, some will believe that it mocks their chosen religion (for it's not just Christianity that is central to this book - oddly enough) and some will suggest that Jesus could never fit in to a wine amphora and it's just plain ridiculous. Moore doesn't really aim this at people who know The Bible, but is aiming at a larger audience, the General Public, who know all the miracles and stuff, and have a faint idea about the history. So with this in mind Lamb creates a marvelous, although lengthy, wry story, based on a story everyone can relate to. Most of the story details what the existing Gospels ignore, Jesus' adolescence. Kids will be kids right? It's brave and it's very well done. Guaranteed to provide smirks as a minimum.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Very little is known about the childhood of Christ, and I love Moore's imagination of what happened during those "lost" years between his birth and age 30. In Moore's epilogue, he explains the narrative choices that he made, and they are all plausible, some are even laudable. He has researched his subject, and the poetic license he takes with the story is done with full understanding of his choices.
Although I consider myself a Christian, my knowledge of the Bible is rudimentary. I have not made a lifetime of studying the scriptures, but I did recognize a lot of things that were part of my childhood Sunday school teachings. I appreciate and admire that Moore has given Christ a sense of humor and foibles and doubts. He was, when all is said and done, a human, and growing into the role that he was born to play had to be painful, and even funny, at times. Humor, too, is one of God's creations, and I would love to think that He who died for my sins smiled and joked and was amusingly confused by his situation on occasion.
The story is told through the voice of Biff, Jesus' best childhood friend. Biff is not the unquestioning follower that we might expect to see - he wants to save Jesus from his destiny and protect him from all who would hurt him. He is also tempted by sins of the flesh and swears early and often (but then, many of the characters do, including Jesus). For lack of a better word, he's a goofball, and he's the perfect foil for the serious aspects of the Savior's journey.
Jesus is frustrated at times by the stupidity of people around him. He is amused by the irony of healing the Untouchables by actually touching them. He accepts his chaste life but is curious to hear about what he's missing. He is occasionally angry with God for not answering when he sorely needs answers to his many questions. In short, he's unsure what he's supposed to do, and this book is a humorous slant on what might have taken place on that journey to Golgotha.
I give Lamb four stars instead of five because some sequences went on a bit longer than they needed to. Moore makes his points brilliantly, but then adds more to them, and it doesn't serve the story as well as some judicious editing might have done.
Although I consider myself a Christian, my knowledge of the Bible is rudimentary. I have not made a lifetime of studying the scriptures, but I did recognize a lot of things that were part of my childhood Sunday school teachings. I appreciate and admire that Moore has given Christ a sense of humor and foibles and doubts. He was, when all is said and done, a human, and growing into the role that he was born to play had to be painful, and even funny, at times. Humor, too, is one of God's creations, and I would love to think that He who died for my sins smiled and joked and was amusingly confused by his situation on occasion.
The story is told through the voice of Biff, Jesus' best childhood friend. Biff is not the unquestioning follower that we might expect to see - he wants to save Jesus from his destiny and protect him from all who would hurt him. He is also tempted by sins of the flesh and swears early and often (but then, many of the characters do, including Jesus). For lack of a better word, he's a goofball, and he's the perfect foil for the serious aspects of the Savior's journey.
Jesus is frustrated at times by the stupidity of people around him. He is amused by the irony of healing the Untouchables by actually touching them. He accepts his chaste life but is curious to hear about what he's missing. He is occasionally angry with God for not answering when he sorely needs answers to his many questions. In short, he's unsure what he's supposed to do, and this book is a humorous slant on what might have taken place on that journey to Golgotha.
I give Lamb four stars instead of five because some sequences went on a bit longer than they needed to. Moore makes his points brilliantly, but then adds more to them, and it doesn't serve the story as well as some judicious editing might have done.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
A book of two halves
I enjoyed more the first part of the book, that described our heroes' studies away from home. The tone of that part of the book was lighter and more entertaining, raising quite a... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mamil
brilliant
As accurate as it needed to be, (I studied 2nd temple Judea at uni) As funny as it should be as enjoyable as anything I have ever read, this book was superb, made me laugh out... Read more
Published 8 months ago by djrevivalist
Best Book EVER
As a somewhat fallen away Catholic I cringed at the idea of buying this book on the recommendation of a friend, however, I found this to be one of the funniest stories I've ever... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Bethc1415
Ouch, my sides hurt...
Make no mistake, this book is laugh out loud funny, more so in the first half than the second, but still a cracking read. Read more
Published 11 months ago by PJ Online
Lamb
What a brilliant book. Not blasphemous just a very funny account of how the parables came into being. A great numerous look at a serious subject. Read more
Published 11 months ago by M. T. Porter
one of his best
Lamb is incredibly detailed, hysterically funny and has one of my favourite literary characters ever - Biff. It's longer than Moore's other novels but just as good. Read more
Published 13 months ago by M. Royle
Moore has a real talent for writing the most lovable characters.
For a long time David Sedaris held the top spot in my heart for humorous writers. Christopher Moore very quickly shoved him aside after I read Fool, which is hysterical and I may... Read more
Published 24 months ago by Lou Izzet
Brilliant!!
A friend of mine recommended the book to me, but when she told me what it was about I was a bit sceptical. Even when I read the back I wasn't really sure if I was going to like it. Read more
Published on 5 April 2010 by Ms Muse
Humour divine sparks outbursts!
Levi is the son of Alphaeus, a stonemason in the town of Nazareth. Lamb starts by recounting how the angel Raziel is dispatched by the Son, two millennia after Levi's demise at the... Read more
Published on 22 Mar 2010 by P. Newman
Good point...
A new way to see the Jesus "real life". Really funny, opens your mind to new interpretations... I really like the idea of Jesus studying other points of view to make his own... Read more
Published on 27 Oct 2009 by Ana Delia Rodríguez
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