Killing Monsters: Our Children's Need for Fantasy, Heroism and Make-believe Violence [Paperback]

My son goes to a Montessori School, and we have always been quite happy with him there. One day, the head of the school pulled my wife aside and said we have a problem with my son's behavior. She stated that he was showing "aggressive behavior" and that he was the ring leader of a handful of kids that had the same problem. Our first reaction was shock and a fear that we were bad parents. Coming from someone who deals with kids all the time, you feel they would know what's best. She said that the shows he was watching were causing the problem, and that we should not let him be involved in watching those shows. That's when I started thinking about it. I asked her the next time I saw her to define aggressive behavior. She said that my son and his friends would play fight and do karate on each other. I asked if he actually ever hit anyone, and she said no. I also asked if anyone was ever hurt or if they took the playing beyond just playing. She had no answer. I even asked if they took turns winning and she said yes, and that was part of the problem!

This is when I found Killing Monsters, and I am so glad I did. The things it talks about directly related to me and my relationship with my son. I love when he watches Power Rangers, and puts on every article of clothing he owns to enhance his powerful character. He walks through the house as though he could conquer anything! He also wants us to hug and kiss him during the Barney song, and that shows another soft and incredibly gentle side that my wife and I love. Play fighting and toy swords are my son's favorite, and to have to take that away from him seemed so unnecessary.

I loved this book and read it twice. I have also passed it on to friends with children that have loved it just as much. I am a young man, only 30 years old. There are a lot of parents like myself that were raised around video games and violent movies. Taking that away doesn't solve a problem. It's all about parental involvement and education. This book reinforced what I believe is the key to a healthy child.

My interest and hopes were very well borne out by the author's book. I don't like violent media, and I'm inclined even after "Killing Monsters" to believe that it has many negative influences on our society. What Gerard Jones makes clear, however, is that simply asserting its negative effects with increasing anger and fear does do good for anyone. Young people interpret attacks on their popular culture as attacks on them, and so they become only more defensively attached to what we criticize. Censorship is problematic because the young people most fascinated by something forbidden will be the very ones to find it anyway; and, as Jones shows well, if it is forbidden they will be unable to discuss it openly with adults but will identify with a subculture that makes that media its core. "Overidentify" is a word Jones uses several times to describe the conditions that lead to a negative reaction to media.

This, I believe, is what the host on my local radio station was referring to: if we are to change the way young people react to media (or "harness the power of media," as Jones also says) we must begin by understanding why they like what they do and what sorts of interpretations they give it. This is why this book particularly excites me: not so much that it argues that violent media is "good" but that it opens the door to reducing its negative effects. I don't know that even the author intended this as his book's primary message (indeed, I think he often errs by downplaying the reality of violence in contemporary American society), but for those of us who are concerned the culture of violence, that may be its most important argument. I believe this may indeed be the "answer" to a circular argument that has seemed for decades to make no difference to the harsh reality of our society or the content of popular culture.

The book's tone is thorough, measured, and persuasive. My sense is that it will be of greatest interest to those who are already inclined to think about these issues, whether from a personal or philosophical point of view. I, who have no children but am very concerned about the quality of contemporary culture, found it compelling. As did a friend with two young boys. Another friend, however, found it "a bit slow." Interestingly, he confessed that he agreed with nearly all of the book's points, and said he didn't feel the need of so many thorough arguments and examples to support them. Gerard Jones has created something intriguing here: a book that may be more interesting to those inclined to disagree with his initial thesis than those who agree. That, perhaps, is the mark of a truly thoughtful and thought-provoking work.