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Keeping Mum: Caring for Someone with Dementia [Paperback]

Marianne Talbot
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
RRP: £8.99
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Book Description

25 Mar 2011

"At 3am I was startled awake by the opening of the stairgate. Leaping out of bed I found Mum, clothes on over her pyjamas, grumbling she was fed up of being moved from pillar to post and was going home."

When her mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, Marianne Talbot decided she couldn't put her into a care home. Instead, for five years, she looked after her mum in her own home. For nearly three of those years she chronicled for the readers of Saga Magazine Online the fears and frustrations, the love and the laughter, and the tears and the traumas of caring. Now, in this heart warming book, you too can meet Marianne, Mum, and the appalling Fatcat.

You will also find plenty of practical tips for caring for someone with dementia and on staying sane whilst doing so, a resources and useful contacts section and Marianne's reflections on caring from a distance, and on when caring comes to an end. Written for anyone, anywhere, who has anything to do with dementia or with caring; in reading it you will know you are not alone.


Frequently Bought Together

Keeping Mum: Caring for Someone with Dementia + Contented Dementia: 24-hour Wraparound Care for Lifelong Well-being + Alzheimer's Disease & Other Dementias (Understanding) (Family Doctor Books)
Price For All Three: £19.41

Buy the selected items together


Product details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Hay House UK (25 Mar 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1848502915
  • ISBN-13: 978-1848502918
  • Product Dimensions: 12.9 x 2.1 x 19.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 23,095 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Review

This book has all the warmth, humanity and insight that made her Saga blogs such a moving and unmissable read. (Saga Magazine Health Editor )

In this extraordinarily moving diary, one woman tells how the experience of having to care for someone with dementia almost drove her mad, yet made her life richer. (Daily Mail 20110326)

This heartwarming, incredibly honest account of dealing with dementia is one to read. (The Sun )

From the moment I read Marianne's first blog, I knew we had something special. Each week I laughed and cried along with her thousands of fans and marvelled at her resilience and wisdom. (Melody Rousseau, Online Editor Saga Magazine )

A deeply moving story of their laughter and their pain. (Daily Mail 20110326)

The Blog 'Keeping Mum' on the SAGA website is truly wonderful. As I read, I found myself moved to tears by the beautiful articulation and reflection evident in the author's thoughts and feelings. One can really begin to 'feel' the emotional journey and empathise with Marianne and her mother as they face numerous daily challenges.

There is currently a paucity of 'real - life stories' in health literature surrounding issues of unpaid caring in the community. A book based on the Blog would make a highly valuable contribution to this topic and help raise awareness. A book would be especially beneficial to healthcare professionals and enabling them to better understand and appreciate the challenging situations encountered by many unpaid carers.

(Andy Richardson Lecturer - Faculty Of Health Sciences University Of Southampton )

Valuable suggestions on how to cope with frustrating circumstances and is peppered with useful tips on dealing with a wide variety of situations from incontinence to living wills. (Nursing Standard )

About the Author

Marianne Talbot left school at 15. She is now Director of Studies in philosophy at Oxford University's Department for Continuing Education, where she specialises in ethics and the philosophy of mind. Marianne cared for both her parents from a distance for 9 years before bringing her mum to live with her. She enjoys swimming, cycling, reading detective novels and going out with friends. A donation of 5 per cent of the author's profits from sales of the book will go to Alzheimer's Research UK.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable Honesty 17 April 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
As someone who has reviewed numerous books on dementia, I have no hesitation in saying that this remarkable book is the best I have read to date for family carers. Based upon Talbot's Saga blogs, it chronicles the day by day experience over three years of someone of who had earlier cared at a distance for her mother (as well as her father) alongside a demanding job at Oxford University before taking her into her own home. Through humour and at times devastating honesty she steers a path between over-optimism and over-pessimism which will accord with the experience of many carers. Each blog entry highlights a particular challenge posed by Alzheimer's and includes a highlighted practical suggestion for those who find themselves in the same boat. The final section comprises a comprehensive list of available resources from one who has navigated the complexities of accessing necessary help. The many frustrations of dealing with `the authorities' are clearly recorded but she is full of praise for the day care and eventual residential care her mother received - indeed admits that it would have been better had the latter started earlier. She vividly expresses the fury she quite often felt, the inescapable sense of guilt and the strains that caring places upon relationships with the wider family. There is a fascinating sub-plot featuring the relationship between Mum's FatCat and Marianne's Oedipus which in a way mirrors the remarkable mother-daughter relationship. Suffice to say that I laughed and cried in equal measure and trust that the book will have a wide and appreciative readership.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a very reassuring book to have 2 May 2011
Format:Paperback
My mother-in-law started showing signs of dementia a couple of years ago. Getting her GP to communicate with us was impossible; battling to get Social Services involved has been an uphill struggle, especially as we live abroad. Finally, in November, just three weeks after carers started visiting her daily, my mother-in-law was picked up by the police after two incidents of nocturnal wandering, and she was taken to a home. During the past two years, we have read all sorts of books on dementia, from the practical 'what shall we do with mother' type of books to the 'still alice' personal stories. Each offer a different perspective and are useful in their own way. This book - Keeping Mum - combines both. We read the very personal and moving stories of Mariane and her Mum, with lots of helpful tips along the way, plus a whole section of practical information at the end. So many times I exclaimed - "that's completely true, that happened to us..." and marked pages to read aloud to my husband. In some ways, it is like sharing your story with a very good friend whom you completely trust and can share anything with, without fear of censure or criticism. I'd say it is a must-read if you are in this situation, or even if you know someone who is - it would certainly help you to understand their feelings. It's also a very easy read - broken down into little chapters you can pick up and put down whenever. 'And still the music plays', 'the 36hr day' (both available on Amazon) and the article 'Understanding the dementia experience' by Jennifer Ghent Fuller are other sources of information I can recommend.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars don't miss this! 15 April 2011
By anne T
Format:Paperback
I have just come across the newly published book Keeping Mum by Marianne Talbot (pub, Hay House). It has had me identifying with her in her adventures and exploits in caring for her Alzheimer's mother at home, sometimes roaring with laughter, and thinking I'll try out some of her useful ideas. If you haven't seen this book, then, do yourself a favour and get a copy right away. It manages to be both a fun and a poignant read which is what we all want, need and deserve, isn't it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Keeping mum : Caring for Someone with Dementia
Oh my goodness, I thought I had been the only one experiencing being a carer, this lady helped me so much, in so many ways, absolutely brilliant , I feel as if I have known you for... Read more
Published 3 days ago by deborah marsh
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book for other carers of a person with Dementia
This was written like a blog as it was taken from a blog originally and brought together to make a book. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Melb64
5.0 out of 5 stars a realistic story on caring for someone with dementia
this book gives a true story of caring for someone with dementia and I found it so helpful as I care for my Mum and there were so many similarities I could relate to
Published 2 months ago by Ann Gardner
5.0 out of 5 stars Review
I loved this book, my mum has dementia so I understood some of the things written. Some things were quite funny, some were sad, but that is Dementia! Read more
Published 3 months ago by Tilly
5.0 out of 5 stars Telling it like it is
I bought this book in desperation once we'd had a formal diagnosis that our mum has dementia. Marianne describes, sometimes in shuddering honesty, the ups and the downs of looking... Read more
Published 4 months ago by dragonmisery
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
Honest and moving, I found this book helped me to seriously look at the situation my family is in and to understand the help we need. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Vicki
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
I could have written this book myself as it is so accurate. My sister recommended it because my mother has late stage dementia and it is like reading my life through someone... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Mrs Nicola M Cowen
5.0 out of 5 stars Keeping Mum
Lots of useful information to help me how to deal with my Mum. Lots of good ideas. A good buy.
Published 5 months ago by JB
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book about caring
I discovered this book a couple of weeks ago, shortly after my father was admitted into residential care suffering from mixed dementia. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lyndam
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for ALL carers
A sensitively written book, which deals with the emotional and physical side of caring for someone with dementia. Read more
Published 6 months ago by mumscarer1933
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