Review of I Just Wanted To Be Loved
"I Just Wanted To Be Loved" is the heart breaking sequel to one of the most shattering true life stories of all time. A highly charged prelude launches this graphic follow-up as Stuart Howarth inserts an excerpt from his devastating childhood account in "Please Daddy No" In the primary chapters of the tear-jerking transcript he further elaborates upon the atrocities he endured throughout his entire infancy. He illustrates through great volumes of recollection the barbaric acts that were inflicted upon him, and leaves no stone unturned as he delivers candidly the incomprehensible betrayal of the child that was he.
The consequent devastation of the ensuing years was manifest in anger, and fuelled with mind-altering drugs including alcohol it sent Howarth's life spiralling hopelessly out of control. In deficit of everything beautiful he dragged himself along the lonely road of addiction, and still living within the sphere of his childhood he was one day compelled to seek out the source of his pain, he came face to face with his wicked stepfather . . .thus inadvertently became the victim of terrible circumstance.
Arrested and charged with the murder of the man who had annilelated his childhood, Stuart Howarth languished in prison for two years, and in a cruel twist of fate he suffered an inundation of diatribe from the jail officers who relished in the plight of his childhood; but Howarth's self preservation superseded the invective and upon his release he filed a case of maltreatment against the prison service . . . And won a substantial financial settlement.
However, Howarth's torment was far from over, and his nightmarish past stayed present to haunt him. Inconsequentiality was his cornerstone, and even the love of a woman could not suffice his sense of worthlessness. On the run from himself and with nowhere to hide, he continued to take solace in the counterproductive use of narcotics; but ironically what was intended for evil in his life, God worked for good,and a near fatal suicide attempt catapulted him swiftly into rehabilitation. It took some time and a catalogue of convincing, but he finally accepted that he could be redeemed, and three treatment centres later he surrendered to a program of recovery. He describes lucidly the twelve-steps that saved his life and exemplifies wonderfully his victory over adversity.
Stuart Howarth, a great man of integrity speaks about the underworld of injustice in this spine chilling textual narrative. The subtext of immense bravery and a heart abounding with love is the through line of action in this compelling and riveting read. Howarth testifies with prose, the sheer determination and glimmer of faith that lead him triumphantly from the pit of hell into a life beyond his wildest dreams; and the man himself heralds from his heart, tremendous hope and encouragement for the one who still suffers.